I'm falling in love with a friend who has a girlfriend. I never tried to break them up, but after a couple of months of spending alot of time with him. We began to develop a good friendship and then started flirting alot. I spoke to him about it when i started to really care for him, i explained that i felt it was not right and that we should stop and that i had feelings for him. It did stop, then it went back to how it was with the flirting, this has happened a few times. We never talk about what is really going on, so i never really know how he feels. I dont know what to do anymore, i care more for him each time i see him. How can i get him to tell me exactly how he feels without confronting him about it. What can i do to make him make a decision and stick to it? Any advice?
2007-01-09 16:59:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you really don't want to jeopardize the friendship you already have, then back off completely, stop hanging out.
Express that you're developing feelings for him that will not let you continue to act that way.
If he is flirting so much with you then his current relationship will most likely not last and then if he is interested it would be the right time.
2007-01-09 17:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by mina_crys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be honest. i don't know any way to get him to be honest about his feelings with out asking him. Sorry!
I would however, tell him how you feel and tell him that you want to know what is going on! it isn't fair to you or the current girlfriend for things to continue this way. He is either leading you on, or leading his girlfriend on by staying with her!
If he can't answer your request for an explanation, then I would suggest cut your ties. I know it's hard, but you have already said that you can't stick with your decision to make things change, as long as you two are around each other!
Honestly, it sounds like he wants the both of two worlds. And have you honestly stopped to think about the fact that even if he does break it off with the current girlfriend, what makes you different. I hate to say it, but if he would do that to someone else, how do you know that if the two of you did end up together that he wouldn't do the same to you also!
Good luck and think long and hard about this!
2007-01-10 01:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a decent answer:
Please look at what you are asking:
"....how can I get him to tell me EXACTLY....without confronting him....." The only possible answer to this is for you to read his mind.
After the flirting ended the first time, who started it back up again? Who is pursuing who?
You want to know exactly how he feels....stop flirting with him. Stop being available to him. Avoid him at all costs.
You need to step back and see this as it really is.
Lay down the ground rules. Tell him that you don't flirt with guys who are in committed relationships.
Tell him to come back when he is available. Stand up for yourself. YOU stick to it. By holding back, you will be forcing his hand to make a decision. If you don't hear from him again, you will know his decision.
Good Luck,
C-F
2007-01-10 01:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's a bit more than playfull flirting. I would stop the flirting as long as he has a girlfriend, after all if you were the GF, how would that make you feel? Ask yourself if you and he were together, would he be flirting with someone else. You have told him you have feelings for him, you can't make him respond if he doesn't feel the same way, or can't talk about his feelings. Just watch out you don't let it ruin your friendship, and don't let him (or anyone) use you or string you along.
Best of luck
2007-01-10 01:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO I was dating my NOW HUSBAND's best friend. I guess you can tell how he solved that situation. Are you friends with the other girl? if not all bets are off, go for him you never know what could happen. If my Husband hadn't gone for me I probably never would have left his friend, and it wasn't a great relationship let me tell you.
His friend now hates me but would love to still be my husbands friend, however my husband wants nothing to do with him.
We have been together 7 years and I still plan on being with him in 70 more if Im around :-) Even though it was really wrong, it was the best "wrong" thing I have ever done.
2007-01-10 01:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by #3 Due December 25th!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on their mood, guys either follow whats in their hearts, or whats in their pants. Just make sure that its not the latter leading him to flirt with you. You really need to confront him....when ur flirting, ask him straight up "Whats goin on between us?". See his reaction.....if he doesn't reveal any emotions or decides to brush it aside alltogether, then he's not really that into you. If he actually says he's willing to give it a shot, then congrats. Either way, the best thing you can do about it all is to confront him about it and find out how he really feels about you. Good luck!
2007-01-10 01:26:53 · answer #6 · answered by william i 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to just be straight up and ask him how he feels , when he is in the mid of flirting with you just ask him! The way you told him to stop but just ask him to be honest about his feelings for you this way you can if maybe there is something there.
Let him know that all the flirting have you confused and you want to be clear but if he says he wants to be with you , you need to make sure he is not with his girlfriend anymore
2007-01-10 01:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to find out is to tell him straight out! But are you willing to risk a friendship?
If you do confront him and he says he sees you as a friend, will you be able to cope being a friend?
I have been there before and its hard. Someone is going to be unhappy and i hope you dont get dissapointed.
If you dont want to lose him as a friend, say nothing!
2007-01-10 01:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his decision is sticking to his girlfriend. You have to decide if you are okay being just his friend or if that is too uncomfortable for you. Any time take away from him should be to get yourself into the friend mode, enough that you don't end up hurting yourself down the road.
2007-01-10 01:05:15 · answer #9 · answered by JB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a guy? Is he gay or bi? Tell him how you feel and you will clear the air, or lose a friend, but you are in limbo right now and won't be able to move on until you do. Good Luck.
2007-01-10 01:05:10 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋