my girlfriends been through alot. shes a cutter and has been to mental rehabs and psychiatric sessions. she drinks and gets wasted and also uses drugs like coc and pot. i dont know if i should interfere with whats going on cuz once i did and she got mad. i want her to stop cutting but she says that it makes her feel better. im just really confused right now on what i should do. one more thing, were in middle school. and please, if your going to say tell an adult or tell a therapist, i already did.
2007-01-09 16:38:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey just pray for her and keep moving forward. God bless you both
2007-01-09 16:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow. That's a lot of stuff for a fellow in middle school to handle. Sounds like it's a lot for anyone to handle. Bless you for standing by her. Sounds like a very troubled girl. Without knowing what the adult & therapist said, I would maybe try talking to this girls parents. And to another adult and another therapist, until someone listens and gets her the help she needs. It doesn't sound like rehab sessions have helped much. She needs to get into a program that is obviously much more productive. Your girlfriend is on a very self-destructive path. And while you are so wonderful to want to help, there is only so much you can do. I hope you are not letting her influence you by following her very misguided judgement and taking drugs yourself. This only shows her that you approve of her behaviour. Instead, I would try to find things you can do together that are healthy to occupy her time and keep her mood elevated without the use of drugs or cutting. Until she gets the professional help she needs, that's about all that you can do. Good luck to you both and God Bless!!
2007-01-09 16:50:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your concern is really great. Cutting is really serious and very hard to understand. It sounds like she is using her cutting as a coping tool. The thing with cutting is that when blood is released form cutting it also releases a hormone that is calming to the body and mind- so in reality it is making her feel better. It is just not an appropriate way to cope with her issues. She needs to continue to go to therapy preferrably one familiar with cutting) and take Prescription meds to help her find healthy ways of coping to replace this compulsion. You are very young to be dealing with such a serious problem and perhaps should step back until she can get the help she needs. Drinking and doing drugs are also self-destructive and are also ways she is probably trying to cope with her other problems. There is nothing you can do to make her stop, so stop trying. It will take alot of help from professionals and hard work on her part to do it. Keep yourself safe and continue to be honest with the adults around you- that is a great thing you have done for her.
2007-01-09 16:51:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Middle school? Wow...
I'd say there's a long line of abuse she experienced growing up, whether it be physical or mental. Either way, she's not stable in the right places.
Do your best to help her through the rehab process and don't abandon her if you care enough. It's not going to be easy and might take a long time. But in the end, it could be worth more than you ever dreamed.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you should not be afraid to step up. This isn't about what makes her happy, mad, and sad. This is about saving her young teen/adult life. Let her know you're not going to just sit by and watch her waste her life away. She has to understand one way or another that you're only stepping in because you care. You want to see her pull out of it. Convince her of that...
2007-01-09 16:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by SirCharles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a lot of pain inside of her. And I don't know if she will tell you the reasons. Maybe, she doesn't even know herself and that is where you are going to have to step up and be the man in this relationship. Everyone gets mad when someone is trying to help them with problems like your girlfriend has. She is going to be defensive. Take it slow and try to get her to some form of professional help. The cutting releases the pain in side, I do know that. I have a16 year old daughter and I have gone through this with her. And it was tough, so you need an adults help with her. I hope all turns out well and keep your chin up!
2007-01-09 16:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by docie555@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you to do. This is a very serious problem that has to be handled by a professional. Her parents have to commit her to a facility for teens that knows how to deal with this situation and get to the bottom of why she is doing this to herself. There is nothing you can do for her until she wants to get better. You are both so young....it makes me so sad to hear how unhappy she is. You can be there for her but you must not be a co-dependant. The more you give in to her the more she will do I am afraid. Please call a teen hotline and get some help for yourself too - this has got to be hard on you since you care for her.
2007-01-09 16:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a pure heart and a kind soul to be so concerned for your girlfriend.
There is absolutely nothing you CAN do that you are not doing.
For your own peace-of-mind you might speak with her parents or a counselor to get a better understanding of what your role should be. Maybe you need to step out of the picture for a while.
In the meantime, you need to get support for yourself. You are too young to carry this serious burden. This time in your life should be fun and adventurous. Your friend's kind of suffering and self-destruction is more than you or this forum are qualified to deal with.
Good Luck,
C-F
2007-01-09 16:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are a wonderful person.. i hope she can see what u are doing for her and do something to better the situation!!
keep up the good work - it is easy to give up , but iti sremarkable thatu are stayin' put.
rehabs and psychiatric sessions are the only way out, u get in tuch with them - and ask for what 'u' can do when ur gf's is out of the session.
how and when did it all start - if u cant get to dat, ask teh counselor to tell u, and ask how can u rectify it.
get her family to support her... she needs a solid suppport system and to prevent relapse.
take care.
2007-01-09 17:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by Jinx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't like the fact that she drinks and does coke and pot, and that she cuts herself then you leave her alone period.
You being with her only means that you are tolerating that behavior. You do her no good by hanging around with her. Tell her you don't care to associate yourself with people who are self destructive.
2007-01-09 16:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by mia w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as much as you might want to help, your girlfriend needs more help than you can provide. I dated a bi-polar girl once (in college) and I knew deep down inside she was a good person, but
my presence was just one more obstacle between her and her self realization that she needed some professional help and the help of God. Long story short, leave her (as much as it will hurt) because you will help her more my leaving than if you stayed.
2007-01-09 16:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do the intervention stuff. give her a choice, either she straightens up and u stay with her and support her or she keeps doing wat shes doing and u leave her. this may cause her to realize whats going on and how stupid she is. i no it seems cold but this is a tough situation and its a last resort...the only other thing i can think of is tell her parents, u aint a tattle tail if it saves her life.
2007-01-09 16:44:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋