My fiance wants to get married in hawaii, but if we do that most if not all family members wont be able to attend, i wanna get married here near where we live here in wisconsin...but she doesnt want it big and doesnt wanna get married unless its in hawaii.. i dont mind really, i just dont want family member getting hurt feeling or being upset.. what should i do?
2007-01-09 15:37:46 · 17 answers · asked by Mike J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
just sit down with her and really see if she is willing to compromise on the getting married in hawaii thing...maybe go there on your honeymoon?...what i'm concerned about is her saying that she wont get married unless it IS in hawaii...is she just stomping her feet because she knows how she can influence you or will she actually leave you if she doesn't get her way? I would find that out asap....i'm sure though that any reasonable person would see that in a marriage the key thing is agreeing on something together...not fighting to get one's way, but considering the other persons feelings and making a choice that will please you both...just please dont let either of you go into a marriage feeling like one person got their way and the other one just went along with it. That would be a huge mistake and could cause some major problems further down the road.
2007-01-09 17:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by luckygrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's being a little selfish - she doesn't want to get married unless its in hawaii? I don't believe your guys' marriage is about just what she wants, its about what both of you want. It sounds like you're going to have to take the high road, and fortunately you don't care where you get married you just care about your family. I would suggest that you have your ceremony in Hawaii and invite close family/friends if they would like to come. Tell your friends/family to get lost on another part of the island after the ceremony and you guys can spend a long romantic honeymoon together. When you get back to Wisconsin and are all tan and fresh from your wonderful honeymoon have a large reception with everyone and play the video tape of your wedding on screen so everyone can see how beautiful it was and how happy and in love you two are while you said your vows and I'm sure everyone will have a great time the rest of the night.
2007-01-09 15:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by *Photo-op* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you certain most family members won't attend? Me, I would go to Hawaii for a wedding, especially if I lived in Wisconsin and the wedding was during the winter months!!! ;-) If she's completely hung up on Hawaii, maybe you guys can strike a compromise (which is what marriage is all about anyway). Have a smaller wedding, keep it to immediate family and the closest of friends, and go to Hawaii for the honeymoon. If extended family feels left out, tell them that you're keeping the wedding small and intimate. But I'd check with family first, and make sure that they won't be willing to go to Hawaii...like I said, I'm pretty sure I would. Congrats and good luck to you both!
2007-01-09 15:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question remains -- why Hawaii? If there is a legitimate reason (it's always been her dream, she has family there, there is a special minister there who she wants to officiate) then, okay, get married in Hawaii but realize that you really have to have a reception for your friends and family in Wisconsin because the celebration of your marriage is supposed to be shared with them, especially.
Any possibility of a local banquet facility that could set up a Hawaiian themed area for the wedding with a minister or justice of the peace and have the reception (Hawaiian themed, of course) right there in Wisconsin?
I think this may be the first compromise of your life together. My advice to both of you is: Don't mess it up!!
2007-01-09 15:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get married where you want to and then have a reception when you get back:) No family members would be hurt if you don't invite ANY of them, that way you didn't play favorites. AND be sure to have the ceremony videotaped so you can play it at the reception. As long as you will have no regrets about family not being there...it should work out well:) Congrats!!
2007-01-09 15:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Shawn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to her that if the wedding's in Hawaii that NO ONE except the two of you will attend. You could have a small reception when you get back home and show your wedding pictures so everyone will feel a part of your ceremony.
2007-01-09 15:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by Abby Road 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get married close to home and go to hawaii for the honeymoon? Eh it's worth a shot. Good luck!
2007-01-09 15:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Noella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a small private ceremony there and go to Hawaii on your honeymoon and renew the vows on the beach. Tell friends and family that this is your plan and say "we would love to see you on the beach, but we understand if the cost is an issue!" Enjoy it! The day is your brides do not make the mistake of keeping her from having it her way!
2007-01-09 15:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Roll_Tide! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a going away/getting married party before you leave....invite all your friends and relatives for the special ocassion. Then go to Hawaii and get married - spend your honeymoon there with JUST your spouse!! It will be WELL worth the satisfaction of her knowing that you love her enough to be with her. That way, both the family and the wife are satisfied! :o) It'll work.....Try it!
2007-01-09 15:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Tracy ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get married on a local beach and have a hawaiian theme wedding.
2007-01-09 15:53:20 · answer #10 · answered by LO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋