My fiance and I keep arguing about his sister being a bridesmaid in our wedding. I would have asked her but its not even like we are friends or anything. The only time her and I talk is when she has no one else to talk to. But he keeps going on about how she is family. (keepin in mind he wasn't in her wedding due to her decision to run to vegas and get married.) What should I do? *Serious responses only please!*
2007-01-09 15:34:53 · 21 answers · asked by Noella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Definitely have her. Have a couple of your close friends/sisters, and her. Keep the peace! It's not like she tried to break you guys up, or told lies about you. It won't break your heart if she's in it, but it will cause serious resentment in your future husband if you don't ask her. Learning to pick your battles is essential in a lasting marriage. This is a good place to start.
Of course you have people who have 'touched your life' be in the wedding, and I'm sure his sister has touched his. However, she can't be a groomsman....
Who cares if she got married in Vegas?
2007-01-09 15:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by Margie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you DO NOT have to make her a bridesmaid, I would reccomend it. I was not close to my sister in law, and I asked her to be a bridesmaid (family pressure) and it turned out really great! We are so much closer now, we have a great relationship, and I even moved her up from bridesmaid to my Matron of Honor! You never know how things will turn out, but if you can I would ask her.
Or if you ONLY want close friends in the bridal party, maybe give her a special job of some sort. Like maybe she can read your favorite poem or verse in the wedding?
Good Luck!
2007-01-10 13:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by palomastephens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it be nice of you to ask? Of course, but this girl doesn't "have" to be in your wedding if you don't want her to be. If you have an outwardly hostile relationship, I would say definitely do not ask her, as it will probably be a lot of heartache and arguments for you and your fiance. A friend of mine asked her fiance's sister to be in her wedding out of a misplaced feeling of obligation, and she is truly regretting it now. The girl was never nice to her in the past, and quite rude at times as a matter of fact. It's only gotten worse with her being included as a bridesmaid. She is very opinionated about every little detail and has made all the pre-wedding events very unenjoyable for the bride to be. Think carefully before you say yes or no.
2007-01-10 01:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK she's already married and I'm assuming she's older than your fiance? This girl needs to get a life. Why does she even want to be one? She's already married, been there, done that.
Anyway, it's YOUR girls meaning, YOUR decision. Are your brothers or other male family members groomsmen? Probably not. If she's not a person that you love dearly and is not a person that has made a positive impact in each others lives, then she shouldn't be a bridesmaid. Simple as that. Forward your fiance these answers.
2007-01-10 18:08:52 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, your bridesmaids are there to stand up for YOU not him. YOU need to choose who YOU want to be there for you to help with getting ready, moral support and such. Talk with your fiancee and explain to him your situation and feelings about it all. If you really don't want his sister to be your bridesmaid, you DON'T have to by any means. I am sure he has his reasons for wanting his sister to be your bridesmaid which you have to be understanding of but he also needs to be understanding of yours.
I was in a good friends wedding where the groom had a female stand up for him because she was a good friend of his. Both had agreed on this and it worked out perfectly. She did carry flowers, have the same dress as the bridesmaids but in black and yep did walk down the isle with the bridesmaid but not arm in arm of course. Suggest to him that you could do this instead and see what he thinks. You may be surprised and he might actually agree on this. In this day in age, anything goes when it comes to weddings.
2007-01-09 23:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't know 1/2 the gals in my wedding party, sadly. We had an arrangement that all brothers and sisters, and of course close friends would be in the wedding party. His cousins stood for me, and I'd only met them once or twice. They didn't help much with all the normal things that bridesmaids do, but we did it to save the peace between both families.
If I had it to do over again, I'd have stuck to a maid of honor and a best man. That way our best friends are honored and we hurt no family feelings in the process.
If you don't ask her to stand, and she is really wanting to or persistant about it, it could hurt her feelings and start a war that would last for decades.
Best of luck and congrats!
2007-01-10 00:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by The Older Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you pick any of your fiance's groomsman? If you did then this can be his one choice. She doesn't have to be a bridesmaid but, it might be worth swallowing the bullet as it means a lot to your man. If you really don't want her to be part of the wedding party consider asking her to do a toast or speach try getting a good when we were kids story out of her just make her feel involved and that should take care of the problem.
2007-01-09 23:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem in my family. My brother is getting married, and his fiance, has not let anyone from my entire family be in this wedding, and only hers. Don't be selfish. She's going to be your sister now, and your "friends" won't be your friends forever, your getting married, going to be having kids, and when your friends are married and have their own kids, who do you have left to babysit? Your new sister. Its not like she had a big wedding and didn't ask your fiance to be in the wedding, if she would have had a big wedding I'm sure one of you would have been it.
2007-01-10 18:01:42 · answer #8 · answered by Dana V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding and you may have whomever you choose in it.
However, you need to keep this in mind. Not only are you marrying your fiance you're marrying his family too ( and he's marrying yours!). It's a package deal...you can't separate it!
These are the people who are going to be there for you when no one else will do anything to assist you or stand by you.
Why don't you try to get to know her? You may be surprised at what you find.
2007-01-09 23:47:03 · answer #9 · answered by Inquisitive125 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry sweetie... you really have to let her in. It will be very insulting to his family if you don't, and you don't want to start off that way. You are entering his family. This is a great way to begin, and your fiance will also respect you for it. Hopefully the experience will also bring you closer to your future sister-in-law. Or... you could always go to Vegas. I am actually thinking of a destination wedding to keep unwanted relatives from coming. Just a thought! Good luck!
2007-01-09 23:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Gwen C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋