she is not respecting my fathers death and is dateing my brother dose not know and he is suporting her it has only bing a year and i don't want to loss my relationship withmy brother and to make matters wostes she did the same thing when my father die (her first husbend )she is 51 and i don't what to blame my life on her but she realy did a bad job rasing me and i was always number two on new years she ufended me and my fieance and now i am marrying him on the 14th of febuary and i don't know what to do i have not spoken to her sicn the first please help
2007-01-09 15:30:48 · 11 answers · asked by tjr3857 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Theres nothing wrong with her dating. Its been a year. Hes dead and shes alive. Is she supposed to die too? You need to grow up.
2007-01-09 15:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Though from a child's standpoint, a mother's dating after a death of a father can be horrific and a betrayal, for the mother who is alone, and sad, and wanting to be held, desired, and loved it is completely normal. A year of grief and loneliness, of no man to hold and to tell you it will all be okay is hard and eternal. Not that she is right, but as a recently single mother, there are times, when I am just wanting someone to love me, look at me with THAT look, smile at my stories and jokes again, and desire me.
I put my daughter first, and therefore, I do not follow through on these impulses, I do not want her having a string of men come through her life... but oneday, when she is busy in her life and not waiting for me, I will again at least for a date or two, remember I am a woman as well as a mother.
Please try to put love before judgement.
2007-01-09 15:42:25 · answer #2 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her for failing you as a parent. Try to understand that she has her own hurts and wounds from life and perhaps because her heart was wounded she did not have the ability to be the kind of mother you needed. Perhaps you should call a family meeting and get everything out in the open before your wedding - but it needs to be done with love and grace for each other's mistakes. Remember that all lies become uncovered eventually. But remember to try and forgive her and if it happens, let her know that you have forgiven her. Forgiveness if more powerful that we think. All the Best!
2007-01-09 15:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how long your Mom needs to stay single and alone to suit you, but personlly, a year is long enough I think to be able to start dating, don't you? And if your brother is important to you, then try keeping your opinions on what your Mom should or shouldn't be doing, to yourself. You are a big girl, just go see him and keep your mouth shut. After all, no one wants to hear what you think about what they are doing, when its her life, and she shouldn't be expected to carry a tourch forever till she dies just to make you feel better. If your Mom was such a horrible Mom, why don' t you just focus on your brother, who probably needs you more than ever, now that his Dad is dead and his Mom is dating. At least you don't have to live with it, you have your own life. Let it go sweetheart, your Mom shouldn't be expected to be alone for the rest of her life, any more than you. Good luck!
2007-01-09 15:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shes your mother she has to understand.sometimes we r scare to do things but life is about takin risks.maybe i didn't ans ur question but i hope i help u in some way.ohh i almost forgot the fact that ur mom is datin another guy that doesn't mean shes not respecting ur fther shes doin the rite thing and shes movin on.do u want her to be suffering and crying the rest of her life over ur fathers death?i don't think so.
2007-01-09 15:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by carolies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you let your mother have a life? Your Dad is gone, it doesn't matter to him.
Not your business if she dates. Not your brother's either.
Back off.
Maybe you should try to look at things from your mothers point of view for a change. And try forgiving her.
2007-01-09 15:37:50 · answer #6 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO YOU WANT YOUR MOTHER TO BE ALONE? GROW UP. invite the new bf to your wedding if it's what makes your mother happy. Staying single will NOT bring her husband back.
2007-01-09 15:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by Diane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is 51 and not getting any younger. Let her make her own decisions and mistakes. It is her life not your.
2007-01-09 15:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by Lock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her husband died a year ago, it is perfectly reasonable for her to be dating.
Why don't you try being happy for her instead of being upset with her?
2007-01-09 15:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by Meg M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should chace something in this problem
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2007-01-09 15:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋