i've been with this guy for allmost 2 years and he try's to tell me who my friends are who to talk to or hang out even how to dress does not want me to have a jod HELP!! PLZ I may leave him soon i dont know HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-09 14:56:41 · 17 answers · asked by askharley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he likes you so much, he wouldn't try to change you.
2007-01-09 15:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by Grizzly UM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not called love- That is called control and ABUSE. Abuse comes in many forms not just hitting or verbal abuse. There is also isolation. He is isolating you from the world because he's an insecure loser. If you think this is flattering now, you will be in for the surprise of your life when this gets even more out of control. This behavior is very DANGEROUS, because this type of abuse can lead to more serious abuse such as violence, rape or even death. These type of men will tell you they love you and that will always be their excuse to make you feel guilty and keep you around. I strongly suggest you leave this guy for your own well-being. I'm sure your friends and family would be concerned if they knew this. He doesn't want you to have a job and he's controlling who can be your friend?? This makes me so angry that you put up with this. He sounds like a real prize- UGH. Stand up for yourself, have some dignity as a woman and move on. I can't stand women that stay in these types of relationships just to be with someone. Please be strong and love yourself- You deserve nothing but the BEST in your life.
PS Be careful with some of the advice on here. Ways to tell if he loves you is "if he suddenly pops up??" Girl that's called a stalker. Thats not love, that's checking up on you and not giving you your privacy. Again, it's control and you will eventually get tired of it if you're normal- My god.
2007-01-09 15:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rock, Paper, Scissors 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does all that cos he's concerned for you and your well being.. In the case where he doesnt want you to have a job, maybe he just wants you to live a good life and let him take care of you. I suggest sitting down and having a calm, casual conversation about what's been disturbing you.
Ways to tell if he loves you are if he suddenly pops up to see you,
is very concerned about your well-being and safety,
takes care of you even when you sick and disgusting,
makes attempts to act manly and macho and husbandly around you,
looks into your eyes (and not elsewhere down south) when you're talking,
genuinely listens to you,
calls or texts you everyday because he misses you and wants to hear your voice,
and so much more.
You'll know if he's in love with you; you can definitely feel it.
But if he does a couple of the above, he's most probably in love with you and wants the best for you.
Don't leave him (unless he starts getting overly possessive or abusive!) until you sort things and your feelings out.
Hope this helps.
Good luck!
:)
2007-01-09 15:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by sparklene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure he loves you. The problem is does he love controlling you more. It seems like the answer to that is yes, and from experience men that want to change everything about you are never satisfied. You end up alienating your friends and family to please someone who will never be pleased and will ultimately affect your self esteem in the end. I dont know how old you are, but I would guess young enough not to need to put up with this crap. Dump this jerk and find someone who loves you and your lifestyle just the way it is. Unless of course your lifestyle is questionable and your boyfriend is just trying to protect you. Use your own judgement.
2007-01-09 15:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry sweetie, but unfortunately he does not really love you. He loves controlling you and he is very abusive towards. If you are honest with yourself, you know that you don't even need to be asking strangers if he loves you or not - in your heart you already know the answer, but you just do not want to confront it. Always remember that real love is kind, it is gentle and thoughtful. Real love does not go out of its way to say and do hurtful things. Real life is not selfish and seeks it's own pleasure at the expense of others, especially at the expense of those it claims to love.
2007-01-09 15:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, he is trying to control you. You have a mind of your own and should be making your own decisions. Get out of this mess and you will be a lot happier. There may be a really great guy looking for a nice girl.
2007-01-09 15:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is too controlling and insecure. Get out of this relationship as it is a form of abuse. Some men are so insecure about themselves that they do not believe a woman can be with them with their freewill. They think that they need to coerce a woman into loving them. This is a self esteem issue. You do not need an insecure man. You need a man who believes in your freedom to choose or not to choose him. You need a man who loves you enough to love your endeavors and help you realize your dreams. Controlling the way you dress , your ability to have a job is one facet of his controlling behavior as it might progress eventually to physical violence if you refuse to follow his orders.
2007-01-09 15:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by lovelyeyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very controlling, is this what you want for the rest of your life, this same type guy is also very abusive or can be physically and mentally. Most women would not want to throw their lives away to someone who would not love or appreciate them, and I hope you won't either. I'd get out!! Best Wishes!!
2007-01-09 15:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey im almost in the same situation only that i could work but once he sees my co-workers he goes all crazy. b-sides that his done many other things that ive came to the point leave him. Honestly we girls want someone to trust love and vise versa but when we dont have that why stick in that relationship. All i could tell u is talk to him and tell him how u feel and that he needs to change just tell him how you feel exactly how u feel right now?????
2007-01-09 15:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by dreamgirl92868 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not love that's control. That is the first step in abuse. Keep up and in another two years he'll put you in the hospital.
2007-01-09 15:01:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds really horrid and trying 2 control ur life!! this would be really bad in a relationship, if u guys married!
leave him, its not worht stayng 4. u gotta b in control of ur own life.
2007-01-09 15:00:55 · answer #11 · answered by cutie317 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋