What would you do if your 12 daughter got pregnant with at 13 year old father?

Question

both want to keep the baby

Answer 1

Faint.

My daughter is almost her age, and one of her classmates who is 12 is also pregnant.

Tricky situation. I can't say what I would do. I am considering another child anyway so another baby in the house wouldn't be that big of a deal. I would worry about my daughter being too small to carry the baby.

Argh.

Answer 2

First, I would have to take in a deep breath and blow it out slowly. I can't imagine not keeping track of my child whereabouts and them ending up in this situation. They are still CHILDREN at this age. In my opinion, they have very little say in what will happen. I would arrange a meeting with the boys parents immediately. I would talk over ALL options with everyone. I would also tell them that if the kids expect the baby to be kept and raised by them then they will have grown up responsibilities from now on. The boy and his parents will help with child care and financial support. With this they will be allowed visitation it is only right. The children will not be allowed to spend the night together, or spend time alone. The girl will be put on birth control (an option that as parents we shouldn't even have to consider at this age!). The boy and the girl will get jobs when they are of age and help financially, they will also have to finish high school and go to college. If they are "old enough" to lie down and make babies then they are old enough to support their decisions. I personally don't believe a 12 and 13 year old are old enough to make any decisions like this. Maybe an open adoption would be a good consideration. Anyway it goes, it will be a hard decision with consequences.

Good luck!! I'm glad this is not me.

Answer 3

First of all who are all of these people to judge, have they ever been in your spot. They don't know if you are a single parent working two or maybe three jobs to support your kids. Don't get me wrong I DO NOT agree with letting 12 or 13 year old kids have sex, but you can't watch their every move. Things happen, but I don't think that they should keep this child. At 12 and 13 they are no more ready to be parents than my 7 year old is. They should give the child up for adoption or have an abortion. I do not agree with abortion but to each his own I guess. If they go the adoption route that is the best, I think anyway. There are so many loving people out there who can't have kids that would love to have this one. I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe next time these kids should not be aloud to spend time alone together. You need to find someone to watch your child when you can't. My mom had to work 2 jobs my whole life and so I was on my own when it was legal for me to be. What do the parents of the other child think? I will NOT judge you because I am not in your spot, but I do hope that everything works out. And as for the rest of you shame on you unless you are there you don't know the reasons that this happened. And I totally agree with what country girl says basically that is what I think too.
Good Luck
Kath

Answer 4

There's a lot of finger pointing going on. Well, that's not going to help the situation. I have four boys ages 16, 13, 11, and 5. I always looked at that kind of situation like this, they're both young but still want to keep the baby. That's their decision. I would support their decision, however, if it were my son who was 13 and the girl 12, I would put it like this. She needs to stay in school or get home schooled. My son would have to stay in school also. Both would stay in school and graduate. Regardless if they stay together or not, both of them need that education to get somewhere in their life so they will be able to provide for their child. They would also attend a local college to be able to get a degree in whatever field they want so they will be able to afford a better life. Also if the girl was put out of her house she could stay with us even if my son and her did not remain together. I would do this for my son and her because way too many young teens find themselves expecting. Most of the time the girl ends up dropping out of school and working some mediocre job, which she'll still have ten years from now and struggling to make ends meet to feed her child. On the other hand the guy ends up maybe graduating or possibly dropping out of school. He ends up working a minimum wage, dead end job, which he'll be at for the next ten to fifteen years, going nowhere.Another big reason for this course of action would be that it will probably cost less in the long run to help them through school and then college because if they don't get that education they'll more than likely be dependent on you for more time than it takes to get a degree. Also during this time I would watch the baby while they were in school.

Answer 5

People shouldn't be so quick to judge the parent. Even the children of the most loving parents sometimes get into trouble. You can't just look at one piece of the picture and that is all we have.

If I were the parent I would spend a lot of time discussing and brain storming the possibilities and consequences of all the options. Following this I would help the children come up with the solution that everyone is comfortable with.

I also feel that family counciling would be neccesary which ever decision is made in order to help deal with underlying issues and avoid future difficulties.

A thirteen year old does not have the cognitive ability to forsee consequences as well as an adult, so it is important to forgive and look forwards to the future and not backwards at past mistakes.

Answer 6

I'm 16 but everyone says I act like im 30 so if I were your daughter this is what i would want you to do. Since they both want to keep the child although they are young, you need to except it if you get angry it just makes if worse and doesnt help anyone. Do not consider abortion. At her age it is not the right choice and she will regret it later. Adoption is an option but is could also result in regret. Not getting to see the baby is not something I could deal with. So if you can care for the baby and support the child with its needs you to to keep him or her.

Answer 7

I hope to god that is a theoretically question. I guess I would end up raising my own grandchild until my daughter is old enough to support herself and her child. I would allow her to get a decent education. I would make my daughter attend to most of her motherhood responsibilities. What else could I do? I would be pissed. the fathers parents would have to take on some the responsibilities too. We would all be at fault. I would think.. What has the world come too? Why would a child 12 yr of age even be interested in sex. I would put my little girl through concealing, that is what I would do. This question brings be to tears. My daughter would have to pay for the rest of her life. She wouldn't be able to enjoy her childhood. her social life would suck. Her life would only pick up once she is in her 20. I hope to god this never happens. Children of her age would not be old enough to understand her situation. Her friends parents would not allow their child to hang out with her because they would think she is a bad influence.

Answer 8

Maybe I shouldn't have read the other responses before I answered. Well, I'll try not to let any other comments affect my answer.

The shock may kill me, if I were the mother. If you have a temper, I suggest a mediator right away. People are going to blame you, and it is your fault, but I'm sure you did your best or you wouldn't be airing it out here. That's very brave of you.

First, have a meeting with the boy and his parents. Decide together how you all can handle it. You said they wanted to keep it, well guess what? This is a great opportunity for them to learn a real life lesson. If they want to act like grown-ups, then they have to take on some grown up responsibilities. Make them develop all the plans for child care while they finish school. Make them figure out how they are going to make the money to buy food and diapers, etc. Make it real for them. VERY REAL. Then see if they still want to keep it. They have to have a good plan, they can't expect you to raise children and grand children.

Make sure you get them, both little mommy and little daddy in counseling. They will need to talk to somebody impartial because you are going to be practicing tough love and won't have time to be the good guy. You are going to be setting a whole new list of rules.

All I can say is love her, love her and support her, don't make her hate herself for her mistake. Remember young girls have self esteem issues as it is, You want her to grow up to be a strong self assured woman so she can be the coolest young mother who can support her own child as well as herself.

Answer 9

Do mean a 12 year old girl and a 13 year old boy.Iam pretty sure you do not mean some one had 12 daughter and all got pregnant with at 13 year old father. read your question.

Answer 10

I would cry. But after the tears were shed, I'd have to deal with the problem. Both of them are children, they should not be making this decision. They are romatizing the idea of a baby, but babies are not dolls. You can't get one today, and decide in 6 months that you are not as infatuated as you thought, you can't give 'em back. I feel sorry for the little girl. Remember the old saying "mamma's baby, daddy's maybe"? She will be stuck with the baby, and he will be on his way. Plus she will get the reputation of being a slut, while he wil get the reputation of being a baller. It is so not fair. It will not be easy for her, she will most likely remain uneducated, and be stuck in a world of poverty.As the mom, you will be stuck taking care of your little girl, and any baby that she brings into the world too. Who do you honestly think will be getting up in the night, feeding, bathing, changing diapers, taking care of a crying baby. Your daughter will to overwhelmed, because she is not old enough to be in this position. Plus you will have to take care of the baby financially. Good Luck to you, I am so glad that I am not in your shoes.

Answer 11

What could I do by that time? I suppose I'd encourage her to give the baby up for adoption since a 12-year-old and a 13-year-old are obviously not responsible enough to be parents if they are already having unprotected sex. I'm not sure what I would do if she insisted on keeping the baby and trying to raise it. The 13-year-old would be pretty much out of my daughter's life then and would have to go to court to have any access to her, the baby, or any of the decision process.

That pregnant 15-year-old is scary! 1--because her spelling and grammar are atrocious and 2--because she STILL thinks it's about her, as any teenager would think. Unfortunately, it's not about the baby loving HER; it's about HER loving the baby. She sounds like she has no idea what's in store. I feel sorry for them both.