She says that they are about spiders but I think its more serious. My partner does not spend any time with her and she does not go to bed when she should but I dont have a say in bedtimes! Not long ago she woke from a bad nightmare and while standing in her doorway wet herself.
2007-01-09 14:12:19 · 9 answers · asked by RenBunny25 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I consider your suspicions to be correct. She has a form of "separation anxiety," which means that she is troubled by the fact that she sees her dad much less than she wants/needs to AND she has this other person who is not necessarily reliable (you who are not legally bound to her dad in marriage and could therefore, potentially, up and leave.)
Basically, she doesn't think that she has much of a floor to get a solid footing on. Her unconscious then slips this situation into a series of personal images that produce, in sleep, the emotions she doesn't dare let herself feel while awake. She NEEDS, but cannot express that need for fear that someone use it to obtain power over her.
In about five years, she will begin finding this security her own way, and being still young and inexperienced, will do it all wrong.
2007-01-09 14:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would need more details to be more specific, but I would suggest taking her to a counselor/ therapist to find the cause of her nightmares. It is most likely anxiety.
Is her schedule with family members, or her living situation, complicated or chaotic? Has she been through a lot of emotional events lately?
You say your partner does not spend time with her. That can definitely cause anxiety. If she does not go to bed at a decent hour, could she have watched something on TV that could have spooked her?
If she continues with the nightmares, or has any other behavioral or physical signs that make you worry, please take her to a counselor or therapist.
Someone I know started having nighmares when she was very young. She was terrified of a pair of shoes. She also developed a nervous habit of rubbing her fingers together. Her family took her to a therapist, and I think the nightmares stopped.
Good luck to you, and to her. I hope this helps. :)
2007-01-09 14:26:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she's learning a lot of her behaviour from her mum...... and there's not an awful lot that u can do about that. just try to keep calm, if she actually says to u that u were the cause of her parents breaking up, then quietly remind her of the facts, and then as her how u could have possibly done that.... try to make time for a 'girls day out' spend time just the 2 of u together, so she can get to know u without having her brother of dad there to compete for attention.... she needs to see u as an actual person, and not as this demon figure that her mother is trying to turn u into. the problem with teenagers is that they are very impressionable, so u are going to have to prove her mother wrong - no small task.... also, keep the lines of communication open between u and your partner on this problem.... let him know what's happening, what's been said. that way things are all out in the open, and resentments won't grow.. i know he's her father, but if he's got any common sense, he will also be capable of seeing that her behaviour needs to be improved, and he should be willing to help u with that. really, it's going to take time, and prahaps some maturity on the daughter's behalf for this situation to improve.... all u can do is help convince her through your behaviour that u are not the 'wicked stepmother', despite what her biological mother is telling her. good luck. hope things improve for u.
2016-05-23 01:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doctor, and fast.
A medical doctor and a doctor for her to talk to. (I can't spell it. Pshycologist?)
Also, talk to her. Don't ask her outright what her dreams are and don't put ideas in her head, but is it possible someone has hurt her? (Rape, abuse, or she witnessed it?)
One of my cousins saw a man be killed, and once after a nightmare she made it into the parents room before she wet herself from the fear of dreaming about it.
And I wouldn't say letting her sleep in the bed with you would be bad. Forget what others say about age, it is comforting. Most of my friends still do it when they get scared, and all my friends are 16 and up.
2007-01-09 16:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that she is 9, makes no difference to how nightmares affect us, I'm a 40 year old man, who still gets scared.
sitting down and talking one on one, helps heaps.
ask about the dreams - tell her about ones you have had. (let her know she is not the only one, who gets them)
The mind works more if your over tired, tell her that. let her make her mind up about bed time.
i have 6 kids, i don't set their bed time, but i do set the wake up time.. they soon work on a better bed time for themselves, if they are up at 7 every morning..
Good luck..
2007-01-09 14:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by waz_i_here_or_was_i_not? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may have under laying fears about a abnormal lifestyle.
This could come from seeing normal lifestyle children at school.
2007-01-09 14:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by Eldude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Partner ?
2007-01-09 14:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my niece calls it spider too.... the pubic hair of a man... protect your daughter!
2007-01-09 14:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
psychiatrist appointment, soon !
2007-01-09 14:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋