My mom is depressed lately.. My brothers and I fight alot but how do i reduce it? can i save her?

Answer 1

Just try to ignore them. I know its hard, I have a brother, but just try it it will work. Whatever your mom does try to convince her not to take antidepressants they really mess you up.

Answer 2

Go to the relative that is most stable in your life. Do you have an aunt or an uncle that has a family but willing to listen to you? Your not able to try and save her all by yourself. Not even an adult is capable of that.

As long as your mom isn't physically incapacitated, she is responsible and has to go and see a therapist to take care of her mind and emotional well being. Because, the truth is... it's not you kids fighting that's causing the problem. The constant fighting is a symptom of a hole in your lives right now.

Your mom may be on a downward spiral due to nutritional deficiencies which affect mood or emotional drama she hasn't confronted in years. If she is on medication, remember that all medications cause deficiencies in the body and also the body becomes used to them so that they become ineffective.

If not, then there is a relationship causing her grief in her life right now and she doesn't have the energy to deal with your brothers fighting and it will pass.

This is not your job to fix her nor anyone else. Just remain silent when your brothers fight and ask if there are any chores your mom needs help on.

Answer 3

First, try to find a way to reduce, or eliminate the fighting, and all general conflict between you and your brothers. If they are younger than you, there is a very good chance they look up to you, and it would be good to set a precedent to follow; personify the ideal, and more mature sibling, and show them that it would be best not only for your mom, and yourself if they would stop fighting, but it would also be beneficial to them if they would stop their belligerent habits.

If you are not the oldest, then still try to set the example by being the ideal child. If a problem arouses, walk away. If one of them insults you, walk away. If any of them do anything to deliberately provoke a reaction, walk away. This is crucial because generally when siblings start a conflict, they either are seeking attention, or they are just wanting a reaction; however many times they are doing both. (I would know; I have done my fair share.) So, what you want to do is to deny them the satisfaction of irritating you, or try to peacefully resolve the conflict by offering a distraction, or suggesting something to do other than irritate you. But once again, if this doesn't work, then walk away, and pay them no attention; the theory behind this is that if you don’t blow on, or feed a fire, it will burn out.

Last, if you want to raise your mother's spirits, do not tell on your brothers if one of them hits you, or bothers you unless it is a serious injury or someone could be endangered by their activities. Nothing is more irritating then "Mommy! Brother hit me!" or anything to that effect. Plus, if you do not tell on your brothers, then they are less likely to seek revenge for you telling on them which would only lead to more problems.

Hope this helps! I have done more than my fair share of irritating my siblings in my day, and this stopped it, and I hope it will do the same for you!

Answer 4

In an emotional sense you can't save anybody and it is not your job. However you can be part of the solution instead of the problem. If you can reduce her stress and fight less you should do it. You should also have open con=mmunication and say something like, "Mom it seems a little down lately, what could I do to help out?"

Answer 5

If you are talking about reducing the fighting; don't allow them to drag you in that crap. Sit them down and really talk to them if they are old enough about keeping the peace in the house and let them know that mom doesn't need the stress.
Remember that adults have lots of pressures and stress that often have nothing to do with our kids. Your mom loves you guys and she really could use your help and support right now. If you can talk to her and ask how you can help out more around the house. Don't worry yourself with guilt, you are a child and often are kids are the one thing that makes us feel better. If your mom is really sad or you think she may hurt herself you should talk to someone you trust who is close to your family. Saving mom is a really big job and you need to tell an adult how you are feeling so they can help.

Answer 6

That is a really sad situation and there is really not a lot you can do. Maybe try to talk to your brothers when they are both calm and explain your mom is really depressed, if you have done this there is nothing else you can do except give your mother your support.

I feel sorry for your mom, truly, it is hard to see your sons fight but it is part of life, brothers and sisters fight a lot.

Answer 7

The best way to help your mom is to get her to medical attention. Your moms' depression is no way your fault, it is a medical condition that can be treated with medication and therapy. In the meantime, stop fighting with your brother. It is not your job to save your mom, you are a child, but you can be there gor her with encouraging words and lots of hugs. If your mom refuses to seek help on her own tell a teacher or another adult that you are close to so your mom can get the help she needs.

Answer 8

Brothers will fight... don't think it is your fault. Adults get overwhelmed with life issues, and a symptom is not being able to deal with their kids... you can try talking to her at a quiet moment. Let her know she seems depressed, and ask what you can do. Try to cool it on fighting and irritating her if she says that would help... Let her know how important she is to you. I have to believe you are the most important things to her. I think you are on the right track by even asking this question.

Answer 9

Stop fighting,give Mom time out,offer to do things for her,tell her to take a warm bath.Make her some Tea.get your bros involved.

Answer 10

Swami Sukhabodhananda



One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.