2007-01-09 13:49:22 · 13 answers · asked by shezza 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
An egg and a chicken are in bed together.
The chicken is contentedly smoking a cigarette. The egg looks over in disgust and says, "Well, I guess that answers THAT question"
2007-01-09 13:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Ginger P 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A VERY BRAVE MAN
It was New Years Day and Billy asked his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies. "Billy, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
Billy thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Billy, all household appliances come in white."
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TATTOOED LADY
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. "Do you do custom work?" she asks the artist.
"Why of course!"
"Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh."
'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get upon the table.'
After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. "That doesn't look like them!" she complains loudly.
"Oh yes it does," the artist says indignantly,“ and I can prove it."
With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the
street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.
"Well, what do you think?" the woman asks, spreading her legs. "Do you know who these men are?"
The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"
2007-01-09 22:14:24 · answer #2 · answered by scrubbag 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My Joke
is magical
and so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what the heck Im thinking about
Hmm yeah
you know jokes arent my strong suit
so I think I'll just well ummmm zip
my way out of here
Hmmmmmmm.........yeah i dont know
---Disapears without a trace-----
By Reading this message you my friend have just entered the Online....Twilight Zone!
Muhahahahahahahhaha!
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH
~~~~~~~PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~
2007-01-09 22:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ques.: How is a Pizza boy similar to a Gynecologist?
Ans.: They can smell it, but cant eat it!
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "Billionaire"
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
2007-01-09 22:15:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
"I have a bad headache.can i go home?"said john to his boss.
The boss replied"nonsense yesterday i had a headache,dashed
home,had sex with my wife and the pain disappeared and i was
back at work in less than an hour.Why don't you try it?"
John said "Good idea,call your wife and tell her i'll be right over."
2007-01-09 22:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by kitty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
2007-01-09 21:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by Innocent 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
She: I heard that 50% of men masturbate in the shower, and the other 50% sing. And do you know what song they sing?
He: No, what?
She: I didn't think you would!
2007-01-09 21:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Why did the cookie crumble?
A: Because it was a wafer so long.
2007-01-09 21:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did they make the Rocky movies?
Because white people wanted to feel better about themselves since no white males were good at boxing, the blacks were owning everybody.
2007-01-09 21:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!
2007-01-09 22:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by ana_is_a_cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋