plz help i have to make a big choice n i am only 15!!!!!!!?

Question

my bf and i have been goin out 4 6 months n we r engaged he is 17 n i am 15. well he has really bad chest pains that last all day b/c of stress. he says that there is kno way to stop them exept 1 thing and that is to have sex. well i am wanting to stay a virgin until i get married cuz thats how its suppose to b but we cant get married till 2 1/2 years and by then he will prob b dead enless we have sex . we both really love each other n i kno dat he will never leave me. i dont think i am ready 4 dat but he is so wat should i do. he says it will help his chest b/c that would make him really happy b/c it will show dat dats the closest we could get . i dont think he is bullcrapin either i think it really would help. so wat shoul i do and is it still wrong to have sex wen ur engaged????????

Answer 1

He's using you! Sex is no cure for any kind of chest pains.

Answer 2

I can tell you are very immature. Your bf may be suffering from Costachondritis which is inflammation of the chest. Sex does not help when you're stressed out and having chest pains. Furthermore YOU said he said it will make him really happy b/c it would show that thats the closest you could get. He really has you on this one!!! You better value your virginity, b/c once he gets it he will tell his boys. I know this b/c I am a man and i'm also a middle school teacher I see this everyday. And one last thing, yes its wrong to have sex when you're engaged.

Answer 3

Isn't 15 a little young, or perhaps early, for someone to get engaged, or consider marriage even, nowadays?

My advice to you is that the boy is DEFINITELY "bullcrapin" you. How does he know that there is "no way" to stop these supposed chest pains except "for one thing" and that just had to be sex? That sounds like a full load of crap, and if you're still unsure, I suggest you ask him for a doctor's diagnosis or something, since what he's saying sounds worthy of such.

Hun, you sound like you value your virginity, and if you value it enough, I suggest you KEEP it yours, especially since you're only 15, and I know you say that you love him a lot that you're both engaged right now, you have many years ahead of you. You even said yourself that you're ONLY 15.

What the hell? He said that "he will probably be dead unless we have sex"? Who SAYS that? I agree with that first answer--nobody dies from lack of sex. And I don't believe that sex is the closest thing that a relationship can bring itself to. Just ask anybody who has experienced such beyond that. Anyone who has already had sex with their significant other but has experienced far better things with their husband/wife or significant other.

It's not wrong to have sex when you're engaged. But you're 15. That's kind of unusual nowadays (the engagement, not the sex at 15). And the fact that your boyfriend says that he has chest pains and risks death in face of not having sex is a full load of ****. And I mean it.

Answer 4

That is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard a guy use to get a girl in bed. It's right up there with "if you loved me."
You probably won't believe me when I tell you this (I wouldn't have at 15), but you are not mature enough to make this kind of decision rationally. Hormones aside, your brain isn't finished cooking. I wish I could find the latest study right now and show you where it says teenagers' brains are not really capable grasping the full consequences of such decisions.
It feels so important and so 'life or death' right now, but that is because you are a teenager in the moment and everything is life or death. If you wait two years, it won't hurt a thing. You have more time than you think.
I don't mean to sound insensitive or condescending. I am just worried about you and I want you to understand the place from which you are making this decision.

And, if he is telling you this, please beware and be careful. Please.

Answer 5

Don't do it. If he really cares about what YOU care about (your virginity), then he will do all he can to keep himself alive AND allow you to keep what you hold precious. He should go to a cardiovascular doctor. Besides, do you know HOW, exactly, it would help his chest pain? This boy is full of it; sex will never help him.

I know you probably love him. But he seems a little selfish. Y'know, he's not really thinking of what you want. I mean, I'm sure you probably want that closeness that sex gives you. But your fiancee should prove that he is man enough to respect his woman and put her needs above his own. I do not want to offend you, but it is wrong to have sex when you're not married, even if you are engaged. Engagement is the waiting period before marriage. So wait.

Answer 6

What he is telling you is complete nonsense. A person that would like to another to get them to do something that they don't feel comfortable with is not much of a friend or anything else for that matter. He is taking advantage of your kindness and obvious affection of him. Think about how stressed out his heart would be if he were to find out you were pregnant. Some men will make up the most outrageous lies to get a girl to put out. From a medical standpoint if his heart is that bad the last thing that he would want to do is to increase his pulse and blood pressure with the physical activity and stress needed to have sex. In fact cardiologists would discourage him from doing this at all. Why do you think that the drug Viagra has the warning not to be used by men who have heart problems. So to answer your question, yes he is "bullcrapin" you. Hope this helps and please always be true to yourself.

Answer 7

Having sex will not stop the cause of chest pains. A release of endorphins associated with sex may mask the pain for a little while but it will be short lived. It sounds like it is just an excuse to get you in to bed. Anyone with chest pains should seek medical advice, and if it is as bad as he says then he should see a cardiologist.

Answer 8

o.O What?! Since when was sex a sort of medicine that could heal chest pains?! It sounds like he's lying... You sound too trusting of him. And if he is, he's either a sick man to go for a 15 year old, or he's just pathetic because he can't get anyone around his age. -.-' Sorry, but it sounds way too absurd that sex would be medication. I'm younger than you, and it sounds to me that the man is lying like a snake.

I'm not a certified doctor, not even old enough to be one, and I sure as hell know that sex is not any sort of treatment for chest pain. If you still believe him, please, bring the poor man to a doctor and ask the doctor if chest pain can be treated with sex. If you still believe him, I pray to God you don't do what he wants you to. Worst lie ever.

Answer 9

ok, no offense to either of you, but sex doesn't help chest pains. and are you sure this is what you want? I am 15 and could never imagine myself being engaged in high school. I mean, congrats if you are in love and all, but I've been in love without feeling the need to get engaged or have sex. If he claims that hes having chest pains, go with him to a doctor. good luck with it

Answer 10

He is completely full of sh*t. There are many ways to relieve stress (and he has his own hand, for that matter). There isn't a doctor in the world who would tell a teenager that he HAS to have sex or he will DIE from stress-induced chest pain. I doubt he even has chest pain, or that it is caused by "stress". You need to call him on it. Don't give in to his lie. If you aren't ready, wait until you are. If he can't wait for you, let him go. He is manipulative and a really bad liar, I might add.

Answer 11

You say that he has chess pains because of stress before you start believing that you should first confront him about it, ask more questions about this chess pain. Unless the doctor says that he has to have sex to relieve his chess pains dont. Chess pains are relieved by medication. Its not a disorder nor a disease so therefor he wont die. If its a heart condition you would definatly know, the symptoms are far greater then just chess pains. I suggest you staying true to your values by not having sex untill your married and being more alert when it comes to him diagnosing himself. I can tell you straight off the bat not to believe him because first of all he doesnt take or use medication and it has not been checked out by a doctor. secondly he is diagnosing himself he doesnt even know that stress is causing him chess pains because it hasent been diagnosed by a doctor.
And thirdly if he did need sex to relieve his stress the doctor would of told him. Personally i feel that your bf should respect your values and if he doesnt find a new bf. If this guy is really that into you he wouldnt demand it or force having sex on you like this by making up some phony story. He would respect your wishes and wait. Becuase sex is about 2 people sharing there love for each other not rushing into just to relieve stress. like to me that sounds so sad. Your just falling into his trap. Like think about the long terms. What if this guy breaks up with you and you find out your pregnent? What if you get pregnant what will your familly say? Does he even have a good job to pay if you do get pregnant for child care? Having sex is a serious commitment because theres consiquences. Theres always protection but that doesnt always help. I suggest telling someone about this like an adult you trust about the whole chess pain storry and how he will die if he doesnt have sex because he will not be happy. Like i know how hard it is to just end a good relationship because of that one thing but like think about it if he really did love you why does he not respect your values? I suggest getting together with just you and your bf and talking about the whole chess pain story and tell him how you feel about it. Tell him you dont think your ready. Im sure if he loves you as you say he does he will understand.
Just talk to him 1 on 1 and tell him your feelings, this is not something you just get an answer to you both need to talk about it together. Because this is a big choice your making and I think he should understand that and respect whatever your choices are.

Best of wishes kesha