Are there people who automatically abide by very different rules from others? One of my good friends and I don't ask each other much, we just take turns talking. Then, when there's something to work through, we know enough to help each other out. Otherwise, we just talk. Often, we use stories that relate to the otehr person's to show empathy, or to show how things can turn out if the next move is (fill in the blank).
My boyfriend sees how others may perceive me as aloof and uncaring, because I don't ask much (show interest).
So, I think it's only the people who open up to me who feel cared for...
And yes, I could learn to show it more...
but I really don't like to be nosy.
Anyway, I wonder if there's a general social concensus in America, if it's easy as "Please" and "Thank you", or if there are multiple sets of social rules that work better for some than others.
Thank you!
2007-01-09 13:38:19 · 8 answers · asked by starryeyed 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I only think you would come off aloof if you didn't take turns talking, that is, if you let the other person talk and didn't respond at all. Perhaps since you are good friends you are able to share the relevant information without asking questions. I wouldn't worry about this so much as long as both of you are happy.
Seriously, though, if you want to really know what's going on in your conversation, tape record the two of you having a conversation (with your friend's permission, of course) and transcribe it. Then you'll really see if you aren't asking any questions or what. It's a very interesting exercise -- I've learned a lot about myself by doing it.
2007-01-09 13:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all walk to the beat of a different drum.
We respond to and treat others differently.
Anybody who just listens is a blessing. When asked for an opinion or support, your there.
You sound like the perfect friend to me, I wouldn't think of you as aloof at all.
If your friends know you care, they may not need other demonstrations of it. You show you care by listening.
Enough said.
2007-01-09 21:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually some people might like that. A lot of times friends interrupt each other with questions when if they would just listen and then ask questions it would be easier. Also not everyone does want you to ask questions if you don't really know them. Your fine.
2007-01-09 21:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think that the rules of good friends would differ from random people anyway. As long as neither of you are annoyed o anything, you're fine.
2007-01-09 21:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by facetious5488 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a kind of manners too. Depends on each people to behave..Well not asking doesnt mean uncaring. Deep inside your heart who knows??
2007-01-09 21:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by CHeah COmel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be describing me. I don't like to pry and others might take it that I don't have interest in them. I do not like people to think of me as nosey, but then they might think of me as unfriendly or disinterested in them. Anyways, I will stay this way whatever they think.
2007-01-10 10:52:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are at your sanity court hearing and just listen, don't answer or ask questions, then it may help your insanity plea.
2007-01-09 21:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by victorschool1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and erase all doubt
2007-01-09 21:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by La-z Ike 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋