She was 16, molested at 5 year old, been a cutter/self-mutilator for a couple of years. My friend is an alcoholic with enough problems of his own. What can I do to help him? I'm worried he may try to kill himself, and I couldn't cope with that. I know I can't fix everything, but what can I do help?
2007-01-09 12:46:58 · 31 answers · asked by smashbott 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Esq... No.
2007-01-09 13:30:19 · update #1
Stay with him and if you feel that he is a danger to himself take him to the emergency room to have a psychiatric evaluation. If he has a plan to take his own life, be very concerned and DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR ONE MINUTE!!!!!
2007-01-09 12:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by NautyRN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This just makes me CRAZY! In a nutshell what you are saying is, your friend is an alcoholic and his 16 year old daughter who was molested at 5 and a cutter killed herself and you feel sorry for him. What about her, what about what she went through? You don't actually believe that she just one day decided to kill herself and that was it. What about all the things she went through leading up to her suicide? Where was he while she was being molested? Where was he when she was cutting herself? I'm sorry but I have zero tolerance for excuses when it comes to parenting. If you bring a child into this world it's time to dedicate your life to that child and not being an alcoholic is a part of that dedication. The biggest problem with out society is we accept the excuses that screw up our children and it is those very children that pay for the excuses we are so eager to accept. My heart goes out for her, he should have been there a long time ago.
2007-01-09 15:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by DaBrat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear about your friends loss. Your are right in saying you can't fix everything. One thing you can do is insist that your friend seek mental health treatment. He needs some help processing his daughter and her suicide. A certified mental health counselor will help with that. He should also be evaluated by a drug and alcohol counselor.
If your friend threatens suicide while drunk/sober you should call the police. They will place him under protective custody until he sobers up or they can find a doctor to evaluate his mental capacity.
You sound like you are a good friend. I advise you to not do everything for him and worrying about him night and day. He may need to fall flat on his face until he realizes he needs help.
Any churches that can sit with him and discuss his loss and his need for treatment? or state programs? private therapists?
Good luck
2007-01-09 13:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by Wisdom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As quickly as you get, contact some of the local "help" agencies in your area. You friend will need some professional help and a friend to stand by them.
In some parts of the country, there are Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) organizations. They help people who have been sexually abuse to handle the situation. And they help train family members in how to work with the child. If the person cannot afford to get to their free services, they will even provide free transportation. Start by seeing if you have one of them in your area - tell them what happened. They may be able to refer your friend to GRIEF COUNSELING.
With the problems your friend has, they will benefit if a skilled professional helps them - you might be able to also attend a session to learn "what can I do as a friend" (other than just being there, and what should I watch out for?).
Good luck.
2007-01-09 12:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by John Hightower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't just be there over the next week or so... he's going through a lot.. it's when all the friends kinda back off a few weeks later when people get to "thinking" so be consistent. If you know his other friends come up with a plan so you all don't get sapped of your energy and you can go about watching him as a team
2007-01-09 12:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by aroundtheom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him always and in any possible way. If this friend means much to you then try to make him realize that life goes on and that he should continue his life the best he can, he should live for himself and accept the reality, that he shouldn't hide behind drugs or alcoholism. They won't make his life better. Convince him to fight. Help him realize how much he means to you and be his shelter. show him your love and honest friendship. Don't leave him alone to bear his problems and learn him to solve them.
2007-01-09 13:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are not a trained professional. You can be there to listen, but that only goes so far.
1. Contact the county for mental health assistance -- he is probably has a depressive personality as well.
2. Get him to AA and to a local minister.
3. He will need counseling for dealing with his daughter's death. Only a trained counselor can help witht his.
BTW did he molest his daughter ?
2007-01-09 12:57:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry for the 16 year old. He was probably so stoned out of his mind that he wasn't there for her. I'd rather pray for her. The only person that can help him, is himself.
2007-01-09 12:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by uberchrist33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being there for him is a good thing. however, it is a band aid solution. his alcoholism, problems and the death of his child are all symptoms of a much greater problem. the alcohol just numbs his pain. he needs professional help. the best thing you can do for him is to get him to seek help. he can be happy one day and is that not the best thing you can hope and want for him?
2007-01-10 04:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him. Be supportive and a good friend. Maybe help him out at home a bit, or with the arrangements. Just make sure he is okay. Also, talk with him.
2007-01-09 12:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by Popsicle_1989 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋