Do you feel comfortable approaching a group of total strangers in social settings?

Question

The reason I ask is because I don't, and I don't know I'm alone in this or if other people deal with the same issue.

Especially if the group of strangers all know one another, and they're sitting or standing around talking to one another, I feel strange approaching the group and introducing myself.

Even when the group doesn't know one another, I still don't know what to say to introduce myself and enter the conversation without seeming like I'm eavesdropping on the previous conversation, However, I don't want to go to networking events and not meet new people either. Do you do this often? If so, how do you enter the conversation?

Answer 1

I feel comfortable when the strangers are in an elevator with the doors closed and I fart really loud.That makes me feel at home.

Answer 2

You are not alone! If it were a "work" situation I would have no trouble at all approaching that group but without the "armor" of work I feel like I'm intrucing on the discussion they might be having. Total insecurity. But, when I am forced into a situation like this I find that big smiles and lots of questions about the toher people asked sincerely and answers listened too with interest not feigned go a long way toward breaking the ice. Most people love to talk about themselves to an attentive listener. My grandmother was one of the most liked people I ever knew and she seldom taked at all but she was an excellent listener!

Answer 3

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm the same way. I'm very shy and not a very good people-person. I went to a birthday party a few weeks back, and everybody knew each other, except for me. So it was kinda awkward. But the best thing to do, that I've always done, and seems to work for me, is to just pick one person in the crowd to talk to. Doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, just start talking with them like you would your brother or sister. Introduce yourself, and ask them what kind of movies they like or where their favorite resteraunt is, etc. Just start a conversation, and if they're friendly, they'll help you along. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Yes, I do now, but I didn't when I was younger. Hopefully someone will introduce you in a group of strangers, if you have been invited (like to a party), after meeting one or two, then the rest is easy.

If you are mingling, be a GOOD LISTENER, people notice that and then ask you a question. The rest is a snap. Shyness left me at some point when I realized we're all pretty much alike.

Answer 5

I'm one of those people who just never has this problem. People seem really comfortable just talking to me out of the blue in pretty much any social setting. Give me five minutes and I've met someone new. I'm not prefect looking or rich or anything, either. :p I think all it really is that makes me approachable is that I smile and look like I'm comfortable wherever I am. I look like I'm open to being spoken to, and people's natural desire to make contact does the rest.

So all I can really tell you is to not worry about it, to smile, to walk into a room with the certainty that you'll be fine and that you're going to have some fun conversations with people. If you do those things (and you smell good, of course - lol), you'll never have to worry about how to break the ice. It'll just start happening naturally.

Answer 6

I will talk to a stranger if they introduce themselves to me first, but otherwise I steer clear and only socialise with people I know.

As someone already said, approaching strangers, or girls for that matter in social settings, can be exhausting. Having to think what to say, getting nervious, what if they don't respond, I just don't see the point in bothering.

Answer 7

I don't feel comfortable at all in situations like this. Even at social or business gatherings when it seems like everyone is standing around in groups I don't know what to say to enter the conversation.

So I am always especially aware when I am in a group to be sure to invite anyone who seems to be alone into the group. I kind of think it is the responsibility of the group to be aware of the situation around them and make an effort to welcome others into their conversation.

Answer 8

Yeah, I feel uncomfortable with this, too.

As for overcoming it, you could try the flooding method, where you would swallow your fear (or at least try to) and approach the group and take it from there.

Or, you could try systematic desensitization--gradually easing yourself into the uncomfortable situation. At first, you could try approaching an individual, then maybe a couple (if you can find one), and gradually work your way up to a group.

If you need something to talk about, you could take a few moments to listen to what they're talking about, then try to come up with a comment or question about it.

Just some things I could think of.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Well. What are you doing? Are you just approaching strange groups of people on the street? That's just weird. Or, are you meeting with a group of people? In that case, the sooner you put your foot in your mouth, the sooner you'll start to get over it, and get on with it!

Answer 10

If they are adults, yes. But teens, never again. I walked up to a group of teens because one of them had dropped her purse in the street in front of my house. They were so rude I ended up just dropping the bag on the ground at their feet and walking away.

Teenagers and young 20's will not let you into their conversation because they don't want to find out later that you were someone who could bring down their precious reputation. When in fact they're probably all well-known skanks to begin with. It's just a lot uglier nowadays.

Answer 11

Maybe I feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable. I will still walk up to someone and say "Hi! My name is Kiwi. Didn't you think that was a good lecture?" Or whatever.

In a few moments, I've made some friends.