Alright, so my boyfriend that I love decided that while he was in Iraq (in a dangerous position volunteers for missions) that we shouldn't be together. He said it was too much stress & asking too much of me. Until he gets home safe & sound & after that if I still want him we will be back together. I'm really hurt & angry at him even though I know he's doing what he thinks is best for me.
My question is, how am I suppose to deal with this? I mean Apparently I'm single now, and word has gotten out. I've been asked out 2 already today. I don't really want to date anyone, but maybe I should just go on a date and see.
I don't know, I don't really understand what my boyfriend (or I should say ex) wants me to do. He kind of was encouraging me to see other people, he said he wasn't good enough for me especially after this (being in Iraq, & seeing & doing things over there). I'm hurt. And confused. Anyone shed any light on what he really wants. Because he won't really say.
2007-01-09 12:39:31 · 5 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He’s giving me mixed signals, still telling me loves very much & that he’s praying for me & my family. How much he misses me. Then out of no where cuts off contact all together with me, not anyone else. He also said that he needs to focus on his mission it’s so important for him not to be distracted with anything else. He’s never said anything like I distract him before, he’s always said having me reminds him what he’s fighting for, to give people hope of a better life…
What do I do? Should I just tell everyone to leave me alone (I think the only reason I’d be tempted to go on a date is because I’m so hurt, but really what’s that going to solve?) Should I keep sending him care packages? Letters?
2007-01-09 12:39:41 · update #1
Seeing as I have been in the same position as he has, I must beg of you to not give up on him. You must know in your heart that he most definitly loves you. As they say " Love changes everything" . He is going through a very distresing time. In his mind he is most certainly trying to protect you, or guard your heart if you will. I know he feels that if he puts a little distance between you and him it will not hurt you in the event of the unimaginable should happen. God willing it won't. You must have faith that without a doubt he truly loves you. You must believe this to be true. He only wishes to love you, and at the moment he must believe this how he can show you. Hold to what is in your heart. I am sure once his tour has come to an end you will both realize your feelings were sincere enough to withstand this little bump in what could be the greatest of loves the two of you will ever know. I am sure you are angry and hurt, but you must understand that if you were in his situation would you not wish to protect the one you love from the unbearable grief of a love lost? I do honestly hope that I might be able to shed some light on what he is feeling. I wish I could help more, but it is ultimately your decision on what you will make of these responses to your question. I hope that God will bring you the wisdom to make a sound judgement on what to do. I also pray that God will see the both of you through these difficult times that you are going through. Last but certainly I pray that God will see the one you love come home safe and back to you.
2007-01-09 13:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by ?Confused? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants you to be happy. He thinks that if your able to date while he's away it will be better. A lot of times when men or women go to Iraq or foreign countries for war, the partners cheat on them, im not saying you will, but i think what hes thinking is that he doesnt want you to have that option cuz its something that would really hurt him. He's just trying to be the best guy that he can be and i think that he really loves you because how many guys would leave you so that you could be happy and not worry and things like he did. I think that you should wait, tell everyone that asks you that you arent ready to date, and just wait for him to get back. when he comes back if you two still like each other than get back together. and if you still like him right now keep sending him things, and if you dont like him in a boyfriend kind of way, still send him things it will really help his time over there. I hope thats the answer you needed.
Good Luck
2007-01-09 20:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by Nick S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably telling you this so not to hurt you too bad if something does happen to him over there. Sending care packages and letters shows you care, and will hopefully lift his spirits while he's there. As for the people asking you out, the best thing you can do is tell them you're not ready for a relationship. Some will hang around, some will bail, but at least you'll know who's heart is in the right place.
2007-01-09 20:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by dead_end_lies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can completely understand what he is doing. Maybe he thinks he's entered into more dangerous situations recently, hence why he does not want to be distracted. He is doing this for you, obviously, so if you love and and want to be with them then I would wait. If you already got asked out twice, you're clearly a good catch - so if something does not work out with your army boyfriend then you can just jump right back into the dating world.
It's up to you -- if he's worth the wait, then you just have to be willing to wait.
2007-01-09 20:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by speakfromspeakers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your boyfriend is a very nice/responsible real man. If I were you, I won't even think about going out with others. I'll pray for him every day, I'll keep on sending him letters tell him how much I love him and I'll be waiting for him until he comes back--- he needs your support to survive!!
2007-01-09 20:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by me2006august 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋