my bf of 4 yrs has many friends and treats everyone great even his exwife except me.1yrs ago tom asked me to pay off his debt(20k)from his last marrage and i said no.well he now throws it in my face. for example i wanted him to sit down with me to plan our wedding(been engaged for 2 yrs)and he said he has to pay off his debt 1st because no one else ever helps him(meaning me).but he just went out and spent $300 on a dirt bike.he also allows his exwife to treat me like crap and will not say anything to her.he allways says i asked for it or that shes right.he always makes me feel like i'm selfish and he has to take care of himself.I feel i do alot for him i watch his child(from his 1st marrage),do his laundry,clean,cook,run errands for him, ect.i will be the 1st person to say i'm not perfect but i don't think i deserve this from someone that is so nice to everyone else even people who treat him like crap like his exwife.am i over reacting?
2007-01-09 12:11:58 · 16 answers · asked by jakielucus0989 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump the loser. That is horrible the way he treats you. I guess his ex means more to him then you. Or were you supposed to be an atm machine for him? 2 years and still waiting to get married. Guess what you will keep waiting. He is just a selfish little boy who values his toys and those who give them to him to play with.
Move on you can do a lot better then this loser.
Sorry to sound so rough but his intentions are crystal clear.
2007-01-09 12:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by logan 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh my this is not good.. Honey, if your man does not treat you good and treats everyone else in his life including an x-wife nice, then you need to stop, reflect real good .. do you really want this jerk forever in your life for the rest of your life? Do you want the same **** day after day?.. I say get out NOW you do not need this.. I think you can do it... You showed back-bone when you said "no" to him to pay off his debt.. the nerve of him.. So you can do it now too. I say you and every girl out there, never become a housewife and babysitter until you have that wedding band on your finger.. do not ever do this again..you just become a door-mat when you do.. Leave and Good Luck.. Find a good man that will truly love you and treat you with respect.
2007-01-09 20:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not over reacting! You can find someone a hell of a lot better than him and you know it! If he can't be mature enough to learn that marriage is about sharing, then maybe he's not mature enough to handle a great person like yourself. You seem to do a lot for him that most people wouldn't do. 20k is too much for a woman to spend on a man and his ex wife! Don't feel bad about it!
You should remind him what love is about and let him know that if he doesn't start to appreciate what he's got then he can forget it!
Don't let him walk on you like that! Get yourself a real man who will respect you and treat you right!
Best wishes!
2007-01-09 20:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Pyrai 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me your soon to be husband is or has used you as a rebound and a raggedy ann doll.
If he treats everyone else with respect and not you, then he doesn't have any respect for you and with that alone, you should open your eyes a little better.
Maybe you need to stop focusing on a marriage and focus to make sure that this guy is going to be worth it, cause from what I have read, sounds to me he is a total loser and you need to find a real man.
2007-01-09 20:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by !?! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you don't think very muich of yourself, otherwise, you'd never put up with being treated like that. He doesn'trespect you, that's obvious. And you're prusuing him to plan a wedding? And why does he have so much contact with his ex-wife? I don't like the sounds of any of it, but then again, I believe your lifelong partner should treat you in such a way that makes you feel cherished, loved, cared for, important. You seem to feel like a personal assistant with a boss who's cruel.
I'd never marry that jerk. I'm sorry.
2007-01-09 20:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would like to say you can do soooo much better......Second you teach people how to treat you....so if you continue to allow the behavior this will carry over into your marriage......if you are not happy do not settle for this or anyone else that doesnt appreciate you...regarding his debt....its HIS...not yours....you are not married yet so you are not as one so his stuff is his and yours is yours...
If you have the heart or strength to do it let this man go........if he wants you or appreciate your or recognize the good women that your are he will get his stuff together and come correct..
be blessed.
2007-01-09 20:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut and run your to good to be treated like crap girl.Who asks there new someone to pay a debt from a divorce BS.Then to through it in your face cause you did the wright thing.Don't become a door mat you could end up getting used to it.
2007-01-09 20:20:40 · answer #7 · answered by jean l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you put up with this piece of work never mind want to marry into a relationship with so many issues.
Get out.
2007-01-09 20:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you even consider marrying this a$$hole??? ... Leave him and go find someone who appreciates you for you ... someone with a little less baggage from a previous relationship would be a good start
2007-01-09 20:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
over reacting..hell no...my question is why are you still with this clown. If he treats you like dirt now, his ex dogs you...what do you think the relationship is gonna be like? I mean be real!! You are setting yourself up BIGTIME!! Think about it, no one desrves to be treated like garbage, especially if you're treating the other with respect!
2007-01-09 20:17:20 · answer #10 · answered by OPTIMUS DIME 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋