I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and it's the first serious relationship for both. We're both in our final year at uni and started living together in September-was a bit stressful for the 1st few weeks getting everything sorted but since then has been great. But since just before Christmas we seem to keep getting stressed at each other. I feel like I'm doing everything around the house, I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning, I feel like I'm being the Mum and I don't want to do this. When he doesn't do things I ask him to, I get stressed out and end up blowing off and then he thinks nothing he does is good enough. He wasn't like this for like the first 4 months we lived together, he did his share, so I don't know why he's suddenly found his lazy side. He says he keeps trying, but I ask him and ask him to do things until I get fed up and do it myself, but he thinks he's trying really hard and I just keep having a go at him. I don't know what to do, any advice?Thanks
2007-01-09 11:28:30 · 14 answers · asked by boop a doop 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It can be that he was really helpful in the beginning in order to create a smoother transition for moving in together. He probably now id comfortable and knows that the transition period is over. Try not to get fed up, but rather sit him down and talk to him as calmly as possible. Other suggestions that might work: trade nights for cleaning, or create a chore list. Hold out on giving him any loving until he starts to earn it.... jsut some ideas for ya.
Also, keep in mind, u may be overworked from the holidays which can make bigger issues out of smaller ordeals. Give yourself a break from the cleaning and all the household stuff for a night and just relax.
Good luck and hang in there.
2007-01-09 11:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try cutting him off from sex, with an explaination that since you have to do everything around the house, you're simply too tired at the end of the day. That should hopefully wake him up. If not, the relationship may very well be doomed.
2007-01-09 11:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by wwturner2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are starting to sound like a old married couple! May be what you should do is when you feel that anger building, because he hasn't done a job, you should take yourself out of the house. Do something for yourself like a walk or shopping. Then come back and see if he has done it. If he hasn't then go out again. He will soon relate your taking off as a sign to do his ****. Good luck.
2007-01-09 11:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your no doubt going through a stressful time as its your last year so........i reckon that your attitude is to turn stress and worry into positive housework, so you kep your mind occupied thus not stressing...meanwhile the male finds other ways to deal with stress, no, we dont need to run around with marigolds on whilst getting high on jiff. if i were you id try talking, if tht doesnt work turn off the x-box/ps2/pc and stand in between them....then have your say.he will pay full attention now.or......maybe its the flat your in?perminantly reminding you of uni, stress etc so go out, have a nice meal. hope this helped and prevoked a smile.scott
2007-01-09 11:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by scott g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your first serious relationship..
You probably thought it was all a big excitment when you first moved it/playing at it. and now the novelty is wearing off.
While ever you end up 'doing things yourself' hes going to let you.
And the more you nag and nag him, the more stressed you'll get when he doesnt do it.
Why dont you draw up a list. as in one week you'll clean the bathroom/kitchen, the next he does it. sounds simplistic, but it might encourage him. Unless you point out what you want him to do, he wont do it off his own back.
2007-01-09 11:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a typical man to me. I think you should stop cleaning and cooking. Eventually he will get the idea and do it himself. Because when he gets hungry, he gonna have to eat something.
2007-01-09 12:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anthony T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he feels that the romance is gone between you two and is feeling down
spice up the life with events like dancing or staying out all night or something to show u still care for eachother
2007-01-09 11:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by answer! this 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a rota for each of you to do jobs around the house and stick it on the fridge, if you only put a couple of jobs on for each day it'll not feel as though you've done loads,eg..monday you cook, he does dishes, he polishes you hoover...tues he cooks you do dishes, he strips bed you put wash on, wed you clean bathroom ,he gives you massage.
2007-01-09 11:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JD's hit it on the head, which is what yoou may consider doing. Unless you want to live like that. I think thats just the way it goes.
2007-01-09 11:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by LOFTY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off...it will only get worse. Red flags are there for a reason. Good Luck
2007-01-09 11:34:44 · answer #10 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋