hes moving to fast!!!! whats his problem?

Question

ok my (male ) friend told me last year he loves me and i do feel the same but hes freaking me out hes planing our future about kids and moving in together and us getting marriedwhat am wondering is why is he talking about this so soon xx thanks

oh btw he says we are ment to be together and he thinks im the one lol

oh and as for my age and his im 17 nearly 18 and hes nearly 19

Answer 1

A man, after falling in love with a woman, yearns for sexual contact. A woman on the other hand, tries to build the relationship into an emotionally stronger one. This is where the the things start looking unpromising, for both the man and the woman and they start looking at each other with a changing opinion.

So, hang on. You do not want to break a relationship just because your man is hurrying things away. You need to sit down and talk to him and explain to him your priorities. And if you can reorganize your priorities, make some place for his sexual needs. Otherwise, it is still fine. He should wait until such time that are able to fulfil his 'future plans'.

Answer 2

You haven't said how old you are. If you really feel the same way then the thought of marriage and children would probably be the next move. I think you might be a bit like me, you like a fun kind of relationship without the serious side and if you are getting cold feet then get out before you really hurt this guy. I didn't get married until I was 34 and had lots of narrow escapes before meeting Mr. Right. I have been married for 25 years and it's a very happy marriage and I have 2 daughters. If in doubt get out was always my motto. You'll know when it's the one who you would be heartbroken to be parted from. Good luck.

Answer 3

I can relate to what you are feeling. He could be pushing you away and not know it so, you should let him know exactly how you feel and to tell him to take it slower. He's not necessarily rushing in his mind because, you might be the best thing that's happened to him in a while so he's overwhelmed with the feeling of being in love and doesn't want to let you get away. This could lead to an overprotective husband or boyfriend in the future for you. Try to get him to understand that having a family is a huge responsibility and takes trust and respect from both persons. I hope things turn out like a "fairy tale" for you both but, it starts with a solid foundation. Good luck to you both, he sounds like a great guy and it means alot that you are concerned.

Answer 4

This is a hard one to answer without more information. But it may well be that.. and stick with me on this,.. he thinks that's what you want.

It's 'common knowledge' among younger guys, that 'all' girls want to get married and have babies. So, a lot of younger guys try to 'be that man' for a girl they like. Sometimes it's just to 'get the girl', and other times it's out of protectiveness, or possibly even possessiveness. It's important to understand his motivations before you respond to his advances, so that you can do so appropriately.

There may well be other issues here too. What's his family life like? Does he belong to a tightly knit family, and so wants to continue the family tradition? Or is he from an unhappy family, and wants to make sure he doesn't 'end up like his parents'?

There are way too many possible issues to be able to pinpoint just one with the tiny information you gave us. Perhaps, it might be best that you just simply discuss with him how you feel, and make sure he listens. He will respond in whatever way he feels is appropriate.

And then, at least you will have an idea of how he really sees you, be that as the person you are, or as the person who can fill the job of 'wife and mother'.

Good luck. :-)

Answer 5

Some people want things to move fast before they lose. Alot of these kind have had bad experiences in the past and know when they get a good one better hang on to it. Just tell him he is moving a little to fast. Let him know how you feel.

Answer 6

Guys like to get things done and make them work. We don't spend two hours in the store to buy bread and apples. We don't spend to hours getting ready to go somewhere. We wont throw out old things unless they are just absolutely gone. Marriage is a way to claim territory.

Just urge him to slow down.

Answer 7

Because he has been thinking about it longer than you have, you have given him the okay and he is running with it. He doesn't realize your running from it. Tell him in a very gentle way, but tell him. If you don't it will end up really pushing you away and the friendship could be lost.

Answer 8

Perhaps he loves you more than you love him. And he doesn't understand that your words 'I love you' don't mean the same thing as his words 'I love you' .

Tell him that the love between the two of you is unequal. And you are not ready to get married to him.

Don't wait until the wedding day to tell him this. Tell him now and save yourself a lot of trouble.

Answer 9

alot of guys get caught up in the heat of love and say stupid things like this just brush it off ur shoulders unles she keeps bringing it up, cause if u dont feel the same way tell him better then going along with it and breaking him even harder

Answer 10

It might have something to do with his upbringing and he might feel that he has a limited window to successfully do all that stuff. Whatever the case you have to let him know to slow down. But do it delicately or he will feel completely rejected.