Help Me!!! I Don't Want To End Up Alone?

Question

HELP I'm completly out of my mind. I'v had these fellings of death and sadness inside me forever and now there putting me on the eage of a cliff. I fell like not being with anyone not even my girlfriend. Infact I'v even thought about bracking up with her after 2 years just so I can be alone with my self. My pain can only be said in a poem I wrote when I was trying to kill my self---->

The Difference Bettwen Life And Death

The evil and the angles are mixed in my head.
So many things left unsaid So many things to dred

I'v been confind to my soul ,My heart in as black as charcoal

Somone help me I cryed in my room, no one answered me

Then I herd him he said "TO LIFE THERE IS NO KEY THERE IS ONLY A LOCK. YOUR LIFE WILL END ON THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK. TO ME YOUR CALM, IT WILL GET MUCH WORSE. YOU WILL HAVE IT FOREVER. IT'S A CURSE.
iv tryed everything church, working out,telling someone, going to a doctor. maby i'm just not ment to have a good life. HELP ME PLEASE

Answer 1

Without the other we don't know who we are, we lose our identity. The other becomes a mirror and we can see our faces in it. Without the other we are suddenly thrown to ourselves.

We are greatly inconvenienced because we don't know who we are when we are alone. With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the person — Hindu, Christian, Indian, American — there are some ways to define the other How to define yourself?

Deep down there is an abyss... undefinable emptiness. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened.

You want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to remain out. When there is nobody you are simply left with your emptiness.

Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone. People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone. You imitate your neighbours so you are just like them.

You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, you just become imitators, because otherwise, you will be left alone.

You become part of a crowd, a church, an organisation. Somehow you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, so that you are not alone.

To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don't belong to any church or organisation, you don't belong to any theology or ideology — socialist, communist, fascist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Buddhist — you don't belong, you simply are.

And you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself.

Loneliness is absence of the other>>

Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is an overflowing presence.

You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

If the whole world disappears this zen master will not miss anything; he will be as happy as ever. He will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity.

He will not miss anything because he has arrived home. He knows that he himself is enough unto himself.

This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact, only he is capable of being with others.

Because he is capable of being with himself he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others?

A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels loneliness is incapable of love. A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing.

He does not need anybody's love, hence he can give. When you are in need how can you give? You are a beggar. And when you can give, much love comes towards you.

It is a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone. Try it, to have the feel. Just
sit alone sometimes. That's what meditation is all about — just sitting alone, doing nothing.

If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have not been able yet to understand who you are.

Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness.

If you go deeper into it one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it. Because both aspects are always together.

Answer 2

Define "good life" because that is so many different things to different people. Some people think that having a lot of money is a good life, having a lot of friends, having good health, having a great family, having a nice house. I once read a joke somewhere that as a person gets older a good day was when they read the newspaper and saw their name wasn't in the obituaries. What does it mean to you? Define "good life." You start by saying you don't want to end up alone yet you later say you think about breaking up with your girlfriend so you can be alone. I think you need to figure out what you want than you will be able to define what a good life is to you. The feelings that you are experiencing are as old as cavemen. I don't know one person who has not at some point in their lives felt just like you do right now. So what to do, what to do. You work through it, you hang on to the girl who has been with you for two years, got to be something there because some marriages don't even last that long, ask Pam Anderson. Find the lighter side of life, the humor and laugh at it. Choose life, don't let it choose you, and fight for it. And the prize at the end of this? You will know what a good life means to you, because did you ever notice that nothing good is ever easy? But it's always worth fighting for.

Answer 3

LISTEN TO ME~YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE!! What you are experiencing is depression, and it CAN and WILL be treated. YOU need to get yourself to a doctor, and get help. And get therapy, possibly meds.
Believe me, I've been there myself and the feelings are so strong that you feel as if you'll always feel this way--but the thing is you WON'T!!! These sad emotions within yourself will subside gradually more and more and more over time. I'm telling you the God's honest truth here. When you speak w/your doctor and/or therapist, you'll feel ATLEAST a little better if not a LOT better immediately. However eventually the positive emotions will completely take over the darkness, and your inner light will shine again with happiness (it's just temporarily layered over right now)--but it's there.
It sounds like your very angry, hurt and sad over something. Just give yourself a gift and make an appointment with a reputable professional therapist.
Hypnosis helps a lot too. Many yrs. I got therapy, but benefitted from therapy immediately. It takes courage to take that 1st step, but I believe that you actually and definately have the courage and will power to take this 1st step. All the healing is within you and there's so much help out there as well as within yourself.
If I can recover from depression, I know you can too. It's not easy to deal with,but the good news is, your emotions that may feel tangled now, all your issues can be resolved within. You may not have control over people around you, but you always have control over your own feelings.
I also recommend hypnosis with your therapist as well. as a matter of fact I just got back today and feel really good.
(i'm always on self improvement/self-motivation/enrichment kick)--so even when I'm feeling good, I take it up a notch to feel even better.
But man I know where your at, coz I've been there, believe me.
Just keep the faith, get help, I know YOUR GONNA HEAL and FEEL BETTER!! JUST TRY!! your in my prayers

Answer 4

the international inhabitants isn't gently paired such an excellent type of people will finally end up no longer being married. some human beings do in reality pick now to not be married (celebration: Oprah Winfrey). Marriage isn't an basically accurate life objective. Being unmarried or on my own does no longer advise someone will be lonely. there are a style of techniques that individuals stay gratifying lives that has no longer some thing to do with being with yet another human being.

Answer 5

Everyone is meant to have a good life, and you deserve one just as much as everyone else. I would really suggest going back to a doctor. Maybe find another one that works for you. There are several different methods that doctors can use to help you and maybe you just need to figure out what works best. Maybe you could even find a new hobby that socializes you. Like join a bowling league or start fishing with a few friends.

Answer 6

Well YOU are the only one keeping yourself from being happy, you say it several times in your question. You are the only one that can say to yourself, I'm not going to feel this way. You have to want it before it's going to happen, plain and simple.

Sorry to be so tough on you, but once you kick being addicted to the drama, I think you'll see some improvement in your life, seriously. Live long and prosper.

Answer 7

See a pysicic or do good deeds your in a tight jam here it could be a warning of change or injury leading to death not likely to happen though not very many people get these just be prepared for change yet than again things always get worse before they get better

Answer 8

You're creative, and creative people need to be alone a lot.

Find out who you are, the voices arise from a false sense of self.

Answer 9

ok so um first try to relax and then like try forgetting about it for a little bit and go have some fun with friends or family! this has happend to me before! belive me....it works!

Answer 10

i think you need some help