Funny pregnancy joke?

Question

In a second grade class, a little girl with pretty blonde hair asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?", "How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher. "Forty." she replies. "Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant." The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?" "Well, dear, how old is your sister?" The little girl answers, "Nineteen." "Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant." The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?" "How old are you, dear?" The little girl answers, "I'm seven years old." "No, dear, you can't get pregnant..." Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."

Answer 1

hahah wow omg lol soo young these days! lol

KiDs No PrEmArItAl SeX iTs BaD! lol but seriously :] it is

Answer 2

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay..." "I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn." ______________________________________... A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?" ______________________________________... A lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn't feeling well and went to see her doctor. After examining her he said, "You are pregnant. Please understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a miracle." The lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I'm pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackerel!" ______________________________________... A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?" The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!" ______________________________________... Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs ? A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control ? A: A misconception Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant ? A: Have sex just once a year Q: What is a chastity belt ? A: A labor-saving device Q: When does a woman's biological clock start ticking ? A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "On my God, crow's feet !" Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving ? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex ? A: Childbirth Q: Should I have a baby after 35 ? A. No, 35 children is way too many already Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move ? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu ? A: If it's the flu, you'll get better Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory ? A: Most of the ladies I asked don't remember Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy ? A: Yes, your bladder Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving ? A: Depends on what your doing with them Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why ? A: Cause you're fatter then they are, Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question ? Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor ? A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold ? A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy ? A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder Q: What are forceps ? A: Giant baby tweezers Q: What's the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman ? A: Brute force Q: How do I know if my baby has dropped ? A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful ! Q: How long is the average woman in labor ? A: Whatever she says, divided by two Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right ? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant

Answer 3

Cute! 9/10! But that little girl doesn't realize that she's not going to stay 7 years old forever!

Answer 4

FUNNY if it wasn't SO SCARY!


TRUE STORY THERE WAS A 9 YEAR OLD GIRL IN MD THAT WAS PREGNANT IN 2005, SHE MISCARRIED! ( THE FATHER WAS SAID TO BE 10 YEARS OLD!

Answer 5

its a lil perverted but its funny to someone with a crude sense of humor

Answer 6

That's hilairious!

Answer 7

haha thats so funny

Answer 8

Good joke!

Answer 9

hahahaha! thats a good one i wanna use it

Answer 10

gud one