She saw her father watching porn while playing in the family room and asked what he was doing?My hubby finally has crossed the line with his porn habit and is not hiding it from her?
2007-01-09 09:56:03 · 25 answers · asked by Allisa F 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She is 4 yrs old and i am in the process of moving out of our home with her.
2007-01-09 10:22:05 · update #1
This is not the only issue my hubby and i have more info read last post.
2007-01-09 10:41:07 · update #2
divorce him, that is just WORNG its like visual molestation and that is what your hubby did.
What a loser husband you have there.
He doesnt respect you either by watching that filthy crap.
2007-01-09 10:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
first of all, make sure you are calm, because she will pick up on your anxiety, and that will make her feel more distressed than she already may
i'm going to assume that, since the incident has already happened and she has already asked a question about it, you and/or her father said something to her before you asked this question; don't go against anything you said, it will only confuse her and make you feel worse
since she is only four, she probably doesn't understand what she saw, unless she has had prior exposure to "adult activities," so don't over do your explanation
depending on what exactly she saw and how much she asks about it, your answers to her questions may vary
use simple explanations: daddy was watching a grown-up movie...if she asks more...the people were...getting dressed...sharing a "special" mommy-and-daddy-only hug...if you've talked about similar situations with her before, use the same language...now might also be a good time to make sure she understands that that kind of touching is only supposed to be between two adults, and, if she's ever treated like that or made to feel uncomfortable, she should tell you, and you won't be mad
remember, don't make a big deal out of it, she may not have thought anything about it, and may in fact only have been looking for "daddy's watching a movie right now, would you like to read a story with mommy?" answer the questions as they come, but don't make it scary for you or her...and, depending on how far the conversation goes, reassure her that she did nothing wrong
2007-01-09 14:17:52 · answer #2 · answered by smart girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg thats horrible she is a little girl if he has to watch his precious porn than he can do it when shes not right in front of him. What kind of opinion is she gonna have of him if he can't even turn off his porn you should really adress this before she ends up growing up without any respect for him. Tell him that you don't want your daughter being subjected to his garbage let him know that you are very angry with him maybe he should get him some therapy or something because he might be addicted to porn or something. What kind of person watches porn in the living room with children in their house that is sick ?!!!!!!
2007-01-09 13:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how old is your daughter??? Is she old enough to understand what she saw??? You should have a serious talk with your husband about watching this, if he wants to do this make sure there are NO KIDS around or do it in a private place!!!! What is wrong with him ??? I f the pronblem in bigger then you need to see for the good care of your kids first and then for him... He can not continue with this this is bad.. You can go to a familly councelor or if your daugther goes to school go to a councelor and talk about this, if your daugther hs more problems because of this then look for professional help!!!! If not just easy KICK your husband out from the house he is not helping by watching porn when ever he feels like doing it!! GOOD LUCK !!
2007-01-09 10:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband overstepped a boundary with his daughter and this should be brought up with an attorney if you are seeking divorce. Any adult who allows or forces a child to witness or experience a sexual act should not be allowed around that child, or any other children for that matter! You have every right to take your daughter away from him NOW. You need to seek professional help for your daughter to help explain what she's seen and to ensure that she does not develop any psychological scars due to the incident, and to determine if your daughter has ever witnessed or experienced any other inappropriate sexual behavior. This isn't something you should handle on your own.
2007-01-09 11:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by chamely_3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So how old is she? What did she see? You don't give information, you give answers to questions and Daddy should be the one to answer them with you present. Now, about your husband. Take him to dinner, don't do this at the house. Demand an end to this. Its wrong to have it around children and he was not being responsible. Everything in moderation until someone decides to act irresponsible then oh well, lost privileges. We all must give up our little habits and childish ways when we have responsiblities.
2007-01-09 10:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by Miki M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You don't say how old she is, but that's certainly a tough one. If she's over 4 or 5, you probably should find a counselor for her to talk to...If she's under that, you might be able to explain that daddy was watching a special movie for grown-ups only, and get away with that.
Your husband has definitely crossed the line. He has, in fact, become a child pornographer by exposing her to this, which could result in having her removed from your home. I highly recommend that you boot him at least to a counselor, if not to the curb. He absolutely cannot continue to allow your daughter to be exposed to pornography. You absolutely cannot continue to allow or enable this, or you become as much a part of the problem as he is. Don't let him convince you that "it's just a movie", or "it's no big deal". It IS a big deal, even if you're okay with it, now that he has involved your child.
Additionally, if I were in your shoes, I would be concerned about the fact that my husband was watching porn without me...In my marriage, all sexual activity is done as a couple.
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Oh, yeah, time to go. I might also recommend that you document this situation, in order to ensure that you get custody.
And for the record, I don't buy into phantom's garbage about "watching porn is not unusual for men". It most definitely is unusual for a married man to be watching it without his wife. Grown men have self control, and choose to share intimacy with their spouses. Maybe "watching porn is not unusual for" boys, who haven't matured yet. It's also just as usual for women to watch porn, but again, in the right company. This "boys will be boys" attitude is BS, and just an excuse. Adults need to act like adults, regardless of their gender.
And to clarify, you don't have to be doing sexual acts on a child for it to count as child pornography. Exposing them to porn is just as illegal as filming them.
2007-01-09 10:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Has she asked you questions about it? I wouldn't overkill the information because she may not even have notices that what he was watching was something adult in nature. You know how kids are, they focus on their own things but of course, they do take in more than we think sometimes.
If she asks questions, only tell her as much as she asks. Be very basic. If she asks what daddy was looking at, you could say "pictures of people naked". That may be all she needs. Just go with one question at a time.
Good luck!
2007-01-09 10:34:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the other hysterical responses, viewing pornography is not unusual in men. That said, it was inappropriate of your husband to do so where your child could see and be exposed to it. You don't say if your child is continuing to ask what daddy was doing, or whether she actually saw him mastrubating. in any case, if she doesn't ask about it, don't offer any explanations. If she continues to ask about, tell her that her daddy was watching a movie for adults. The important thing is to not get uptight and freak her out about it. Handle it quickly, with a minimum of information, and remove the porn all together, or lock it away where she can't reach it.
Inform your husband that his porn viewing activities are restricted to when your daughter is not in the house, or to a room where there is a lock on the door.
Then you need to talk to your husband about the pornography and how he is not to view it in the presence of your daughter. As to whether you would allow him to watch it at all, that is between you and him.
This episode can be handled on the same level as if your daughter saw you and your husband having sex. Just make sure she understands that this is an adult activity.
2007-01-09 10:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by phantomlimb7 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Divorce him!! There is no reason that he should be watching that with her in the room....even when she is awake. It's not child pornography, because he didn't touch her while watching it. It's just very wrong. It night be considered child neglect though. Definately divorce him or kick him out until he understands that he shouldn't be watching porn around his child.
2007-01-09 10:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the nerve to watch porn in the family room. I can't believe he did this with his child around. Let alone doing it at all. I would divorce him. I wouldn't put up with that for a minute.
2007-01-09 10:01:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anne B 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋