Anyone know any good jokes?

Question

Please give punchline as well.

Answer 1

why was the blonde staring at the orange juice bottle? it said---concentrate!

Answer 2

there was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head they were all stranded on an island so the brunette jumped in the water and swam 1 mi, 4miles, 7 miles, 14 mi and so on but then she got tired and drown so then the red head does the same and drowns then the blonde did the same but went like 40 something miles but then she could see shore like 1 mile away but since she got tired she started to swim back to the island.

Answer 3

OOPs i pooted?
what?what?what?iDo you run for fun?
Are you mentally balanced?
Are you currently on viagra?
Can I buy some?
Do you doodle when you talk?
Do you talk funny?
Do you walk funny?
Do you look funny?
damn aren't you concieted?
I say, old chap, do you have any Grey Poupon?
What's your favorite holiday?
Have you ever been to Canada?
LIAR!!!
Do you have a fear of heights?
Is your name Bill?
Sure about that?
What's your favorite pasttime?
What did you say?
HUH???
Were your boots made for walkin?
Have you been messin where you shouldn't be messin?
Do you know what that sound is, Princess?
Would you tattoo my name on your hiney?
Please?
What about for $5?
Did you send out Christmas cards?
Why didn't I get one?
Well you didn't ask, now did you?
Have you found Jesus?
Can you tell him he needs to pick up the lawn clippings?
Can you type with your toes?
Can you type with your nose?
Woldse youei belevie i tyyuped thli with mu noosz/
Do you have a distinctive odor?
Whatcha doin?
Why still don't get it?

Answer 4

this is one of my favorites, hope you enjoy it...


Birthday Present

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser".

"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real chick tonight, Dave."