I like this guy and for a while now he's been interested, but now his friends tell me he really likes me too. We talk in school and online and have attempted to get together but family commintments and weather made that hard. We were talking online a few nights ago and things were going okay until he found out and we began to discuss my past. We're juniors, but I spent most of my sophomore year on my deathbed due to anorexia. I was depressed for a long time and cut myself. I ahve been diagnosed BiPolar and I am fine now, but he didn't like the sound of my baggage and now isn't as engaging. I think I messed it up with him! How do I get him to like me again? As more than a friend like before...
2007-01-09 09:08:03 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok first off,if he really cares about you,he's going to accept it as your past and move on...If not,then you can find a person a heck of a lot better.
I myself am bi-polar and have cut myself in the past and also been in the hospital for not eating...
Recently I told my new boyfriend about hurting myself and the scars from my past which are pretty evedint....I was horrified about what he thought but,he told me he accepts me for my past...
Honey,a real man is not going to judge you,remember this is only high school,they are boys not men... IM me if you need anything...I have been through it and I can help advise you on the bi-polar....
2007-01-09 09:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by raventears56 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is important for you to educate him about what you have been through and reassure him that you are receiving proper treatment. Perhaps you might interest him in some websites with materials such as recovery rates when proper treatment is received.
Beyond that, maybe is is just a little shocked and needs some time for this to sink in. The most important thing for you to remember is that this man does not define who you are. If he does end up rejecting you due to what he now knows about you, it is because he does not have what it takes to deal with the possibility of you getting sick again and does not in any way reflect on you as a person. In other words, just keep on living life and being healthy, with or without him.
2007-01-09 09:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's rough. You open up your heart to someone you think you can trust, and they judge you for it. The fact that you brought it up means that you have come to terms with your past, and are making an effort to move into a more positive future. You deserve someone who can understand who you are now, and not hold your past against you. Maybe given time this person will be able to deal with your life. If not, you haven't messed up. It's not like you brought all of this up right away - you thought you had developed a bond. If he can't respect you for who you are, he's probably not worth investing a lot of time into. Good luck, and congratulations on all of the progress you have made this past year. Don't let other people set you back!
2007-01-09 09:16:11 · answer #3 · answered by thevampy1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that u talk to him n ask him what he thought about the conversation u both had about ur past n ask him if he's ok about it if he says no then i suggest u find someone else who will accept all the things you have gone through n who will love n respect u no matter what ur life has been like. No one should judge u for things that have occurred in ur past because no one is perfect n dont let him put u down or feel bad because what happened to u was not ur fault n u should always kno dat. Take care n good luck with evrything!
2007-01-09 09:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for starters, be yourself. That never hurts to do that. Second, don't be scared of what could happen. Let him know that you want friendship over anything else. This way it will show him that you are not looking for a relationship, however, you are wanting friendship. If this is the case a relationship could be in the long run but not right now. My best advice is be yourself and be as open as you can, you can never go wrong by doing that.
2007-01-09 09:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by Waggs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel bad that you told him about your past. That was the right thing to do. He would of probably heard about it through rumor sooner or later so it is better to hear it from you.
Maybe you can explain to him that you receive counseling and are on meds for these issues. Tell him that these problems are under control, and that there is a lot more to you than your past. Be open with him.
If he still does not want to get involved with you, try not to feel bad about yourself. These are huge issues and they may scare people off. You will find someone that sees you for who you are now.
2007-01-09 09:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by Contessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing right now would be to show strength and confidence. Prove to him that you are not that weak sick person, and let him see for himself how the whole experience strengthened you and helped you to grow up and love yourself. If you started sympin and acting like you're heart is broke that would make him want to get away from you faster. Just play it totally cool, he may be so turned off that he doesnt want to deal with you no matter what, but thats the consequences of your past actions. whatever you do, dont show yourself to be sad or disappointed
2007-01-09 09:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just can't deal with things like that, it is best to let them go. You might try the next time to let them get to know the real you before you tell them about your past, then they will know for themselves that that is no longer you. If you still have problems like that don't try to hide it and then they find out later, but if it is part of the past just let it stay in the past. Hope this helps..Best Wishes!!
2007-01-09 09:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that you can fix it. You can ask him his feelings about it. Also this is your past and if you are truly recovered you have nothing to be ashamed about. You can not take back what was already done. As far as the guy, if he can't rap his head around it and accept it he isn't the right person for you. Trust me you do not want someone who will judge every poor choice you have made in your life and hold it against you.
2007-01-09 09:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have pasts. I just would not tell everyone I meet about my "baggage". Wait until you have something good going with someone, then if the subject comes up, you should not lie. Otherwise, it is nobody's business. I hope your BiPolar is under control now with medication. You sound like a really nice person. Good luck.
2007-01-09 09:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by NAN G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋