What happens to the spouses and children when a soldier is killed?

Question

I'm just curious. What happens to the family? I've come across a few military wives and most of them are stay at home moms and some stay at home dads with at least a couple of kids. What happens to them? Does the military kick them out if they are in government housing? Do they assist them and aid them? I was talking with a lady and she told me that where she is, they have made it known that the only reason the dependents ( i think thats the word) are being helped is so that the soldiers will re-enlist. She said everything is so biased. I wonder what will happen to the families.

The reason for my interest is because my brother-in-law just enlisted.

Answer 1

When a soldier dies, his family has 12 months to leave military housing if that's where they are living. There is also life insurance and other death gratuities and payments that help cover burial costs.

Aside from financial help, there is emotional support as well. Where we are, there is a team made up of both military members (chaplains, casualty assistance officers, etc) and family members that is available to help at the time of a casualty. There are spouses who volunteer and are trained to deal with whatever the family needs. If your soldier is killed, the chaplain who comes to your house will ask if you would like this group to be called. If you want their help, they will do anything from taking phone messages to watching your kids to help plan the funeral and notify family of the death. There are also organizations and support groups made up of families of killed or wounded soldiers.

A big part of the reason that the military takes care of dependants does have to do with soldier retention, but at most places I think that they take care of the families because they love soldiers and the families and it's the right thing to do. I think a lot of it is in the eye of the beholder. The spouses I know who hate the military are very cynical about the help offered, wherease those of us who are open to it are quite happy with what the programs do for us. Where we live, there are tons of great resources for families, whether the soldier is deployed, wounded, killed, or even at home.

Answer 2

The military caring about families...Ha! The spouse is given very little time to get themselves together. They also receive the insurance money and the kids are given a few benefit. I think that even takes a while. But for the most part other service members care for each other. Not the military/government. The spouse is left on his / her own to pull things together. Military families should always have a plan A, B, & C...Because anything can happen and the military / government only care what one can do for the military. Not what one's spouse is going to do if the active duty member dies!

Answer 3

I "thumbs uped" the idea to go to a military blog or such.

The system is not perfect, but it does do much and we all know (Army family) it has to do better.

I am not being "funny" with the following:

1. Soldiers should be sure to get the most insurance they can afford
2. Soldiers who are married should provide more
3. soldiers with children, who are always broke, still have to get more insurance.
4. Soldiers with "girlfriends" need to decide if they want to see they get part of the Life Insurance or send all to the parents, etc.
5. Soldiers with children "out of wedlock" need to talk to JAG.
6. Wives need to learn the system, see so many new military wives posting here, drives me crazy,
7. The "VA" is a system of mazes: they will educate (college, trade schools) the widows and children! But they must visit such as the VFW or DAV for assisting them. The VA can do much but one has to know the system.
8. Military wives need to establish social links with others "Army Family" ok?

No, the Army does not toss widows and children out of housing that fast, but they do have to "move along", there is a policy on each Post and a general directive.

The old "Proof of the Pudding" Men, women are re-enlisting, daily: that should tell you it is a decent system.

Let me tell you in WWII, Korea and Vietnam: it was a telegram, $ 10,000 (1941-to after Vietnam) and a lousey widows pension.
Do folks still use the term "networking"?

One has to network, just like the families of Police and Firefighters:

Answer 4

It use to be that families had 6 months to move out of housing, now they are given 365 days to vacate on-post housing. They will be moved back to the Soldiers home of record or somewhere else that is cheaper to move to at government expense. Unless the spouse wants to pay the difference between what the government will pay and where they want to move to.

Answer 5

Go to a "military family blog" just put that in and ask questions from the horses mouth

Answer 6

The same as the spouse and children of anybody that dies regardless of the career. They mourn their loss, collect the insurance, and go on with their life.

Answer 7

If their spouse was kind enough to invest in insurance they receive their government check. They are however no longer entitled to government benefits because they are no longer dependents. Kind of like a kick in the *** more ways than one.

Answer 8

They will get life insurance and kids will get education benefits..wife gets survivor benefits..Contact the local VA Office

Answer 9

The widow/widower takes the $250,000 (minimum) life insurance payment and moves back home.

Answer 10

Well, for starters they ship your loved one home in the cargo section of a civilian aircraft in a makeshift-cardboard coffin. No honor guard, none of that nice stuff you see in the movies. Think im BSing you? Check this out: