I am not being selfish, but this girl is so self-centered. She complains about everything, and right after my wedding, they broke it off. She had her mom call him up and begged him to give her another chance. My brother is the sweetest, most down to earth guy. All she loves to do is shop, *****, and anything that she wants, she has to have. My whole family feels this way, but we're afraid to push him away. I know love is blind, but damn, he can't see things right in front of him. I don't know what to do, because I can't stand to be a bridesmaid in their upcoming wedding when I think it'll fail. Her brother got married two mos ago, and filed for divorce 6 weeks into it. I don't want him to make the same mistake. I love him and he needs a down to earth outdoorsy girl. Can anyone offer some advice or help?
2007-01-09 08:36:53 · 19 answers · asked by Shannon Kay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have been through the exact same situation as you are in now. I sat down with my brother once and talked to him about the woman he was marrying. Once that was over I never brought it up again because I didn't not want him to feel like his family was against him. He did end of marrying the girl and they were divorced a year later. I was there to help him emotional when everything feel apart. Everyone is bound to make a mistake in their life or maybe it will end up working for him. The only thing you can do after you talk to him once, is be there for him when ever he needs you.
2007-01-09 08:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by Brian and Kari 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, remember your brother is a grown man and really, is the person making this decision. I think you need to politely lay out the facts in a manner such as: "Listen, _____, I know you love _____ but she does not seem to be right for you. Maybe you two should spend some time apart, it might be healthy." He might get angry and hate you, or he might appreciate your thoughts. [The latter actually happened to my friend's friend] Based on your relationship, I think you need to decide which would be better- a brother with an awful wife or a brother who hates you.
...? Not sure If I have been much help, but I certainly hope so. Good luck in the future!
2007-01-09 08:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Carolina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing he's a big boy...he can figure it out for himself. It's his life, not yours, your mother's, or your father's. He's going to do what he wants to do regardless of what anyone tells him and the only thing you will do is push him away. This has happened to many people close to me including my own brother....so, I'm not saying this to be mean...but me and my family made the same mistake with him and since the marriage, my sister-in-law has changed as a person. We can accept that now, but he can't accept the things that were said. Needless to say, don't say something you might regret later. Whether it works or not, he needs to make his own lifes decisions.
Good luck.
2007-01-09 08:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother all of this, one time only. Then shut up. It's his life, even if he will be messing it up. As a family member, you can make your opinion known, but then you have to back off and let your brother live his own life, and take the consequences of his decision.
You are under no obligation to be a bridesmaid. When asked, you just say I'm so sorry, I would love to, but I just won't be able to fulfill all of the obligations. Then stick to your decision.
2007-01-09 08:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
well, your brother is a grown man and can make decisions for himself. the rest of the family just got to myob because people meddling into others business is what cause chaos in a marriage.
u can however turn down his request to be a bridesmaid, it will hurt his feelings. but the people who is in the wedding should be well wishers and people who want to make it happen, not stop it.
2007-01-09 08:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's going to do what he wants to do and if anyone tries to stop him in any way, he will be not only upset and more determined to prove you wrong, but he will distance himself from the family. Love may be blind, but he's not downright stupid. He probably already knows anything you might think you need to tell him about her and about his reasoning. He will learn from his own experiences, as he should. Just be there for him if/when he needs you, without judgement.
2007-01-09 08:46:54 · answer #6 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him. My sisters soon to be ex-husband was the same way. It was all about him and everybody in the family HATED him, but we never told my sister. When she told us that she was planning on leaving him that's when we all told her are true feelings. Man, was mad at us from keeping it from her she trusted that we would be truthful with her. Believe me all of you should tell him how you feel about her. If he still decides to marry her support his decision and be happy for him. Hope things go well for you and for your brother.
2007-01-09 09:04:08 · answer #7 · answered by thurtlebee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats not really your familys decision. if he loves her then let them get married and if they find out after the get married that they cant stand each other then they will divorce. Any way for right now try to get to know her mabey you will get to like her.
good luck
2007-01-09 08:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by C B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have you talked to him about this? maybe if you open his eyes to how bad things are he will change his mind. or you can speak up at the part where they say "if anyone has a reason for why these two people should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace".
she sounds like a beast. the over the top, drama queen, high maintenance b*tch. save your brother. he'll thank you in the long run.
2007-01-09 08:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Decoy 2.0 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
None of your business. Step aside and do nothing. Do not be a bridesmaid if your so against the union. If you try to stop him it will only encourage him.
2007-01-09 08:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋