My wife is a good gal, but she suffers from OCD Obsessive compulsive disorder and in recent years alcohol abuse. She hurts me by putting me down in front of her familly and friends. I do everything for her. I clean, cook, work, take care of her familly. And maintain her with designer jewlery and all material goods. She constantly compares me with other guys, with me being inferior. Most of the time she blames me for anything that goes wrong. She always has bad wishes towards my familly including children. I try so hard to make her happy. Sometimes with all the disapointment and receiveing constant verbal abuse through-out the night, I get to a point where I react. I am so ashamed, I know its wrong. I wish that I can go back in time and undo it. I hate myself. Leaving her will only hurt her as she has grown so dependant on me. She is like a child, my child. But we are both so miserable. I want things to work out. What do I do?
2007-01-09 07:22:46 · 11 answers · asked by Mikey 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I do believe she has took you for granted. Maybe it is about time for you to give her a wake up call.If she is so dependent on you then she will start thinking clearly and wake up before she looses the best thing that has ever happen to her. God i hope so, good luck. I know when a man really loves someone because they swallow there pride,and dignity and most of all they will do anything to make them happy,except for your self.So i think you have had enough so give her that wake up call....ring...ring...
2007-01-09 07:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by stephanie_kanode 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said she is dependent on you like a child so, take control and tell her what's about to change around your camp! If she threatens to leave it will solve your problem anyways! What's the worst that come from her leaving, maybe paying some sort of spousal support (depending on the state u live in)? She's already costing you an arm, leg and your sanity and self-respect!
Sometimes people need a wake up call. We get use to doing things a certain way and we feel entitled to keep doing it, sometimes we don't even realize how out of hand we are. Marriage is a choice...she can choose to act right or leave!
2007-01-09 07:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not sound like a good, loving woman to me. She sounds like a witch. Divorce her. it is obvious she has no respect for you.
She has issues too. I was in a marriage like that but I got out. If you are like me you tried everything; counsiling, talking, listening stratagies, etc. My marriage lasted 1.5 years. We had a child and I knew we could not raise a child in this environment so I filed for divorce.
You deserve to be happy and she is not making you so. Draw some lines and make boundaries that she not insult or yell or do any other bad behavior. Although this will not work because they are not capable of controlling themselves. You must find a good lawyer and be prepared when you divorce her because she will lie, cheat and use slim ball tactics. Good luck. I hope you get the courage to leave her worthless butt.
I can relate entirely, and can help you. Feel free to send me a message. Either way you need support from someone. She is isolating you.
2007-01-09 07:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife sounds extremely similar to my mother. Though are situations are different i may be able to offer some advise. My mom has extremly random fits of rage and ussually doesnt even remember saying the things she does. She becomes verbally abusive and makes very extreme threats. She will ussually swear at me and threaten to leave the family and never comes back. She views herself as a bad person and probably has extremely low self esteem which does not help. Now on to the advise part. One of your wife's main cause of temper is he alcholism. Now i know how hard it is to get an alcholic to firstly realize their an alchoholic and more importantly to stop being one. Solving this problem will not be easy first of all. You're going to want to confront her about her alchohol abuse firstly which will not result positively but will at least get it on her mind. Your reacting to her anger is not abnormal. A human can only "hold his cool" for a certain ammount of time. My strategy with my mom is to be as passive agress and absorbing of the anger as possible meaning, don't reflect the anger back at her meerly absorb it. You should not be ashamed of her behavior. Its a problem she must deal with and has nothing to do with you. You may want to try to get her into either a 12 step program or some form of therapy. possibly a family intervention of some sort? You must try to lessen the ammount of things you do for her... I've learned that with abusive and anger prone people, it doesn't matter what and how much you do for a person, it doesn't stop the anger. Her blaming you is simply her finding an outlet for her anger, most things people say in pure rage is not out of the heart, it's not what they really feel. What you must realize is that your wife has a problem which needs to be fixed. Get back to me with any details and/or comments. An actaul discussion may help?
Hope this helps,
Joe
2007-01-09 07:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by Joe S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly have lots to assert approximately this i don't understand the place to start. She's not a baby.. do not take care of her like one. She's based upon you on account which you permit her. it's time to place your foot down and make her improve up with the aid of giving her household projects. permit her understand that her habit is inappropiate and you will now not stand for it. The abuse would desire to quit. Whomever is doing/asserting it look for scientific care....once you attain your snapping element approximately what's been happening.. supply her an ultimatum that she gets help or ........ you come to a determination what to do if she refuses to get help. this is not a marriage if the two one in all you're envious or unhappy!!
2016-10-30 11:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my situation is reversed..my husband is verbally abusive and after 15 years I've had it. Unless your wife seeks professional help for her problem I'm afraid it just wont' get any better but you'll find that you just resent her more and more every day to the point where you can't stand being around her. My advice, bite the bullet and get out..life is way too short .
2007-01-09 08:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by wornout 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try marital counselling.Talk to her family? If none of these work then maybe you need to lookat separation trial.You are both miserable then maybe it is time to go your separate ways.She is becoming cdependent on you .You are treating her like a child rather than as a wife .This is not a healthy marriage.
2007-01-09 07:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sooo sorry...SIR, she sounds like a b---h.,..putting you down, comparing you to other men...how insensitive, and you do everything....the only thing i can suggest which i know you do not want to do...because she is like a child....is DIVORCE....OTHERWISE YOUR HEALTH WILL TAKE IT'S TOLL... i am sorry for your perdicament...i really am...things will not be able to work out!!! sorry!!YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO STAY IN A PHYSICALLY AND VERBAL ABUSIVE MARRIAGE...THAT IS NO MARRIAGE...
2007-01-09 07:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by sweet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to her loved ones maybe her own family maybe they can help. I'll be praying for both of you hope things get better no one should live like that.
2007-01-09 07:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always marital counseling. She needs it because she sounds emotionally disturbed and you need it for allowing her to debase you esp. in front of others.
2007-01-09 07:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋