Do you want 10 points?

Question

Tell mell a little johnny joke.

Answer 1

It was the first day of third grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn’t get past 20. Little Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done.
His dad nodded and told him, "That’s because you are from Alabama, son."
The next day, in Language Class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It’s third grade, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Little Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school.
His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That’s because you are from Alabama, son."
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well endowed." This confused him. That night he told his dad, "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I’m from Alabama?" he asked.
"No, son," explained his Dad, "That’s because you’re 18."
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Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota."
The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."
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Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went.
She said, "I think I broke his gambling".
The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money."
"DAMN!" said the father.
"What's wrong?", the teacher asked.
Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"

Answer 2

FASCINATE
Little Johnny's teacher asked if anyone in the class could use the word fascinate in a sentence...
Little Judy replied, "My daddy took me to the zoo over the weekend, and I was fascinated by all the animals." The teacher told her it was a good sentence, but she wanted the word fascinate, not fascinated.
Little Henry replied, "My father brought out the telescope last night, and I found all the stars fascinating". The teacher told him it was a good sentence, but she wanted the word fascinate, not fascinating.
When she called on Little Johnny he replied, "My sister bought a new sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight."

little johnnys mom and dad were about to have sex and his dad was just putting the condum on when little johnny walked in. he quickly bent over the bed, pretending like he was looking for something, to hide "the wood". johnny asked
"dad, what are you doing?"
"im looking for a mouse"
"well what do you want the mouse for? are you gonna f*ck it?

Answer 3

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

Answer 4

Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"

A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"

Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"

The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"




Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

Answer 5

I don't have any little johnny jokes but i sure want 10 points!!!

Answer 6

Little johnny was sitting at Thanksgiving dinner ,he was playing with his little brother.His dad said ,Johnny please pass the turkey
Johnny was playing and didn't hear him
Dad says Johnny pass the turkey!
Johnny continues playing ,didn't hear him
Dad says JOHNNY PASS THE DAMN TURKEY!!!!
Johnny says Thats the spirit Dad! Pass the fuc-ing potato's

Answer 7

all of those are pretty funny but i think i should get ten points becasue i am different and i didnt give u a little johnny joke!!!!

Answer 8

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl0w-j0b".

Answer 9

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

Answer 10

wats a little johnny joke?