On Saturday my father-in-law was celebrating his 50 birthday at my in-laws house and when the cake cutting moment came along my mother in-law said "lets take a picture with the kids " so my Husband walks and stands next to his father and well I joined him... this is when it all crashes and burns. My ridiculas Mother In-law grabs me and pulls me out of the picture infront of about 5 other people and tells me "No, not you only our kids" i was so offended!! And the reason why it was so hurtful besides the fact that she felt it was not my place to be in the picture is the fact that it is not the first time that they take a "family pic" that I was not invited too for example for New Years Eve the same thing happend exept I waited to be invited into the "family pic" and that invitation never came along.
2007-01-09 07:11:49 · 5 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What I'm asking is how should I feel about all of this? to most of you it might not seem like abig deal, but I have spent 5 years of my relationship with my now hubby for me to not be considered good enough to be family, i know I'm not blood but after all these years I would think I deserve my spot next to them... on a regular day she is sweet giving me hugs and kisses telling me she is very happy that I married her son, but when little parties come along I turn into her "Due girl"
2007-01-09 07:15:24 · update #1
I would like to talk to her about this but she is very closed minded and probably wont get it, also it was something that happend in 5 seconds she probably wont remember and if I bring this up it might seem like im making it bigger than it really is
2007-01-09 07:18:00 · update #2
If she only wants one with her kids, why can't they do another with all of you spouses and significant others as well. My husband's family is also this selfish. If you aren't "blood" related to them you ain't ****. When my sister died, not one of them sent me a card or anything. A few weeks after my mother-in-law said "oh, by the way, sorry about your sister".
I consider the source. Not that this isn't painful or hurtful, but remind yourself that you are the better person. I hope that if you have children, she would include all of you then!
Good luck!
2007-01-09 07:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by fab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, i am only 17. I have never been married but I do know about awkward situations like that. My mother was remarried 2 or 3 years ago. At first, I wouldn't accept my step father as family, such as, we all went to my cousins' house over thanksgiving and i didn't understand why my mom's husband should have gone. But this was less than a year of their marriage. So in a way, your mother-in-law is probably just afraid of letting her son go, and admitting he is part of another family. You need to take her to the side, so to speak, and talk to her. It may be an uncomfortable situation, but it may be necessary. And you can talk to your husband, but I'm sure you already have. Good luck.
2007-01-09 15:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by beatlesmaniac444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her how you feel so the next time she offends you, you will have a Right to say something to her maybe she just doesn't realize how her actions hurts your feelings and she won't if you keep quiet about it tell your husband also since it's his mother. if he feels the same way stop going to the family get togethers since your not good enough to be family why act like it.
2007-01-09 15:51:58 · answer #3 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, you must speak up now if you want to prevent years of the same.
Speak to your husband first, asking him to go with you to talk with his parents.
Explain to them how it hurt you discussing with your MIL how her behavior in front of other family members caused you discomfort.
Do it now, before you give grandchildren to this inconsiderate MIL, before you find yourself feeling the same way in another 5, 10, 20 or 30 years from now.
I sincerely hope that it's the last time you are offended that way - but I can tell you that it's not unusual for that behavior to continue for a lifetime.
2007-01-09 15:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by birdwatcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have in laws much like this and this is one of the many reasons that my husband and I are no longer having anything to do with them. Try not to worry, she is a selfish woman who doesn't think of the feelings of others, but I would have reminded her in front of everyone, Hey, I am your family too, and that would have wounded her and made her look foolish.
2007-01-09 15:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋