Why does it seem that men in general are intimidated by confidant educated women?

Question

Ok..so I am in college, I am very opinionated but yet sweet. I have many other friends like me who have a dead on sense of humor, fantastic cooks, dress stylishly, I mean very appealing women, yet men don't easily approach us. ( in romantic sense) Yet..those tarty girls w/o a brain or women who are less appealing outwardly are scoring dates. This has been an on going girlfriend discussion and I would like some male input. Stay clean & respectful!

P.S: this is what we have been told by men AND women about ourselves. We receive many compliments nearly every time we step out, and men love our cooking. They enjoy our humor so it isn't arrogance. I think we all try to be as humble as possible.

Answer 1

Believe me, it is a VERY fine line between being confident/strong and being overbearing/hypercritical. It's really up to someone else to decide if you are sweet, or attractive. As I once heard, your altitude in life is a function of attitude, and it's not what said, but HOW you state what you say...

I find too many woman who get in higher positions/power lose that softness as a woman(and that is as un-appealing as an effeminate man), because they feeling being kind is a measure of weakness(and that is a lie!)

Look at all the major power players(female) who have no real man...Oprah, Condi, Martha, etc...see a pattern?

The fish you catch is a function of the bait...what is you want people to see in you, or think about you?

Answer 2

If a guy is an educated, confident, professional then he won't be intimated by your education, or much else either. The question is does he find an educated confident woman attractive or not. An average, uneducated man may be intimidated by your education and assume that you will be bored with him, or just not be interested. That is just generalization of course. You probably can't blame it on education (although I am in the same boat as you, educated professional and guys just aren't interested). I think it is more the attitude that is a turn-off. I am not only educated, but confident, opinionated, used to being in control, making decisions, and being independent. I missed out on the How to Flirt 101 class, and find it difficult to "act" in a way that I consider somewhat silly. When I get to know a guy I can throw caution to the winds, but the problem is I can seldom get that far.

Answer 3

intriguing! there were no 'women' in my college other than teachers.

the tarty girls are easier to impress, sleep with and then never see again.

the women like you are more of a challenge that is obviously beyond the men you speak of.

I like confidEnt educated women but the line between confidence and arrogance is a thin one. no offence intended but perhaps you come across as the latter?

would you be attracted to a man who introduced himself as "very opinionated but sweet with a dead on sense of humor, a fantastic cook and stylish dress sense"?

you need to go somewhere else to meet men.

Answer 4

Yes!!! This has happened to me before too. My best guy friend roy told me that its because we come off as having a brain, being intelligent and beautiful make almost all men stay away. He doesnt know why, he says its just intimidating. So I feel ya... I worked in sales for 7 years and was hit on about 6 times. Women would always tell me how beautiful I am, but guys would shy away. It was wierd. Good luck tho

Answer 5

Well for once I agree with some of the other posts I am reading in regards to your question. Guys can be intimidated by strong beautiful women because guys can think things like, "Oh jeez, look at her, she is so smart and beautiful and so on and she can have any man she wants, she would never want me, I only drivde a Honda and I only make 80,000 a year, she definately wants more than that so I won't even waste my time." and in order to protect their ego they'll make up excuses like, "Oh she looks like she's just a total ***** with a nice chip of ice on her shoulder, it's not even something I would want to bother with!" than they go for some plain looking girl because that girl seems more attainable to them or some brainless bimbo because a girl that is dumb is sooooo easy but holds no long term rewards like the ability to hold a conversation beyond what flavour her gum is and contemplating such wonders like the difference between curling and teasing her hair and the adverse side effects of each. That is why you get a growing number of beautiful women complaining about how they never go out on dates and they think they must be ugly or something because they are so beautiful they scare guys off. Another problem I have heard complaints about but with less frequency is actually a combination of 2 problems. First a growing distrust of women, of course there have always been unfaithful people but in listening to a lot of elders talk about the way things are now in comparison to the way things used to be, men have been known to be pigs for quite some time, that is getting worse but now women are making a very rapidly growing name for themselves in a negative light which is breeding distrust. Now of course guys by nature are competative but who wants to feel like they are competing for the affection of their woman against other men every single day coupled with the negative light women have been putting themself in in regards to faithfulness...Of course that stems from a certain level of insecurity but so does the inability for men to approach you or your friends in a romantic type manner so that should be an indication of the mentality of the majority. I hope this calirifies for you even if it is a little long winded, or a lot long winded. If you have any further questions, comments or otherwise, email me. Good luck

Answer 6

it does tend to happen. i get it all the time. i had a sit down with a friend about it, and a few things i got out of the conversation is..
* if you're confident enough to hang out at a bar/club whatever by your self and enjoy yourself..than why do you need a guy?? and than that scares them off.
*again the whole tart rainless bimbos are a guarantee easy lay, b/c the confident woman tend to brush off one night encounters
*i was told that i excude confidence and most of the men around me are kind of old fashion and want to be the night in shining armor and it never looks as if i need one.

good luck to you! and keep being confident and whanot and demand more than a tart does.

Answer 7

On the contrary, if a woman isn't extremely hot and graduate at least magna *** laude, I have no interest. That's the minimum to keep me interested.

And yes, I have the right to make such demands. I'm 6'2, 205, 8 percent body fat, and graduated summa *** laude from both Princeton and U of P. Nuf said.

You need to up your game and demand quality.

Answer 8

Tarty girls with no brain are easier to sleep with and dump. I'm not like that myself, but that is the only reason I can think of.

Answer 9

I am a very well educated woman, but you know what I think? Men find us easy to approach when we are in our jeans.

Answer 10

With all that education, humor, style, etc. I'd think you would prefer to make a move instead of waiting for them...