2007-01-09 06:50:47 · 26 answers · asked by BD M 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.
As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.
"I'll give you a lift."
The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."
The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
2007-01-09 08:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Sir CJ 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any instrument in the world. He will bet $50 on it.
A guy walks up with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays his $50.
Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzy Gillespie. So the man pays his $50.
A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sets it down with a confused look.
"Ha!", the man says, "Can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at the man and says "Play it? I'm going to have sex with it as soon as I get these pajamas off!"
2007-01-09 16:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by louisem28 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A boat sinks in the middle of the pacific.
On board were a Jew, an Arab, and an Indian.
There is a shark attack.
The shark eats the Arab, then the Jew, and comes back but turns away and leaves the Indian alone.
The Indian looks to the sky and says 'thankyou for saving me'
The shark turns round and says, 'I had one of you last year, and my a*rse is still burning'
Ta-Dah!
(and compliments to Omid Djalili for the joke)
2007-01-09 15:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
ok this isnt that funny becasue i cant remember the funniest joke ive ever heard but it was like a skeleton walked into a bar he drank 25 drinks and said man that went right through me. yah i
know not funny but whatever i cant remember soem of them and the other ones I cant say on internet.
2007-01-09 15:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Minnie and Mickey were at court trying to get a divorce they had been there many hours before the judge finally turned to Mickey and said "I'm sorry but I can't grant you a divorce on grounds that Minnie has buck teeth." Mickey replied "I didn't mean that when I said she was f***ing Goofy."
2007-01-09 15:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by hmessiter 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What's the difference between a duck and a camel?
You can't get down off a camel!
2007-01-09 14:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's the difference Between a Toilet and a Casket???
2007-01-09 14:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i will give u some joke line and that joke line u can use against those ppl who used to make fun of other and think of them self cool and macho if they try to make fun of u u can say that , u look line an *** hole cause u are hairy and smell like ****.
2007-01-09 14:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by sohail k 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My girlfriend has just had a tattoo of a large sea shell on her inner thigh, it's brill when you put your ear to it you can smell the sea
2007-01-09 16:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by William C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Check out Cowboys profile and look at his Q. They are all jokes clean and hilarious.
2007-01-09 15:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by allseasons 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋