I heard somebody say that when you adopt a kid.....?

Question

that you have to sign this paper saying you won't spank him or put him in time out. i can understand the spanking part, but why time out?

there'a too many good answers, so i'm gonna let ya'll vote on this one

Answer 1

It depends on where you adopt the child from. Private adoptions have different rules and regulations than public adoptions. Each state, and in some cases each county, have different rules as well.

We had a county adoption, and we were required not to spank our child for the duration of the adoption process (approximately 6 months). The usual explanation for this is that many children available for adoption have already faced physical abuse, and you should be doing your utmost to bond with them / promote trust.

I haven't heard of any adoption regulations that require no "time outs". That doesn't mean it's not the rule in some county or state ... but wasn't in ours (Southern CA). It's a very good non-physical way to get your point across to your children.

Answer 2

Corporal Punishment is the verbiage used in adoption paperwork.

You must agree that you will not use "corporal punishment" and that you don't agree with this method of discipline.

This was for a foreign adoption however. Other countries and states may be different.

To address your query regarding the spanking & specifically the time-out - not knowing the background of the child, it is difficult to assess why this would be a requirement.
Obviously, it is for the benefit of the child and this type of discipline, along with the spanking, has been deemed inappropriate.

Answer 3

Yes, we had to sign one. When the child is a ward of the state, you can't spank them, your more like foster parents until the adoption is final. Once the adoption is final their your children, you have the same right as anyone else to raise your children as you see fit.

My experience is going through the county adoption services, not over seas, I do remember reading that Korea makes parents sign a form saying they will never spank the child. That form though is unenforceable considering your raising them in the US not Korea. Spanking is legal in the US, once your adoption is final, your a parent in every way shape and form.

Answer 4

One of my children (now grown) is adopted, and I never signed anything about what I'd do or not do.

Just for the record, though: I never hit him or put him in time out. I like to think I was skilled enough as a parent to know how to have a child who generally behaved well and whose worst offenses (like being too careless with remembering school books or eyeglasses) resulted in natural consequences that made him be more careful.

I don't mean to come across as self-righteous or conceited, but the fact is the best way to teach, reason with, and get results with children is to talk to them - all the time, any time - and to listen to them. Maybe today's adoption people hope that parents will hone their talking-to-children skills by suggesting they use the more difficult/more thought-requiring talking approach that may require a little more skill but that tends to work best.

Answer 5

I was never told not to put my daughter in time out- as a matter of fact, they supported it. And we did not have to sign anything agreeing that we wouldn't spank her but it was made clear to us since she was in the hands of the state at one point she would always be protected - even after adoption. Not that spanking would do anything anyway since she was beaten when she was young and pain means nothing to her - But, oh she just hates the boredom of a time-out.

Answer 6

I do not know the answer to that question. I find it hard to believe you would have to sign for either. You are allowed to spank a child with your hand, open palm, two swats on the buttocks. Just remember that positive discipline is better then constantly punishing your kid.

Answer 7

I dont think a time out is true. The state doesnt like it when parents spank. But isnt it amazing that in Texas the teachers are allowed to spank your children????

Answer 8

I have never heard of that at all. I think I would look at the source, or contact an adoption agency about your questions. Adoption.. it's like giving birth. The child is YOURS.. and discipline is a personal choice. I don't think any adoption would come with a stipulation like that UNLESS it was a specific request from the woman that was giving up the baby.

Answer 9

I only heard of the spanking part, not the time out part

Answer 10

I adopted both my boys and I never had to sign anything like that, mind you I'm in Canada, maybe the paperwork is different in another country.