I am so ashamed, my girfriend of a year just found out her ex husbands dad died today . She was married to him for 16 yearas and they have kids together . I am so ashamed to say that I am jealous that she wants to go and be part of the funeral . Her ex has been a real jerk to her and does everything to keep us apart . when her parents died while they were still married he never cared about her . He has been nothing but a problem and now she wants to be there for them , They have not seen her for a year . I am so concerned bout this but I know I can't tell her about it because I will seem like an uncaring jerk . We have been together for over a year and are serious in our relationship I hate feeling this way when somebody is suffering the loss of a loved one.What should I do to put this behind me and sould I even be concerned ,
2007-01-09 06:31:14 · 15 answers · asked by el diablo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well she is going there for them not him dont take it as if this was against you just help her true it****
2007-01-09 06:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at the big picture. The relationship your girlfriend had with her ex-father-in-law had little to nothing to do with the relationship she ended with her ex-husband. Try to be mature enough to comprehend that she is divorced from the ex-husband but still has feelings of compassion and emotional bonds to the family she was part of. You should not worry and you should be there for her if she needs you, without being sour or jealous of her connection to this family.
2007-01-09 06:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal to feel this way. I think you are right in that you can't make a big deal about this. People deal with death in different ways and she may have been close to this man in her past. You have to try as hard as you can to be understanding. I would offer to go with her to the funeral as support. That way you can at least feel included and keep an eye on the situation you are uncomfortable with. Good luck!
2007-01-09 06:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by sprggb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be concerned. These are people that were her family for 16 years and are still her kids family. Just because he didn't care when her parents died doesn't mean she should be as low as him and not show respect to his parents. She's probably not going to be any support to her ex but for closure for herself and respect for her children and the rest of the family. Say it was an ex best friend of her's, would you care then? She wouldn't be going to support the ex friend, she would be going because these are people who were in her life for many years.
2007-01-09 06:43:25 · answer #4 · answered by sproutsmomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to support her maybe even go with her. just cause he was a jerk doesnt mean his parents were. they probably were really great ppl to your girlfriend. there is no reason for concern you said it yourself she was married to the guy for 16 yrs and he treated her bad but over that time she has built a relationship with his parents.
2007-01-09 06:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my that's sad.Well it isn't strange that you would feel like that and it's alright.But let her go through what she has to (morning process)please don't get upset with her.If there is anything you can do for her do it.And understand that her pain will soon fade slowly but she will not forget remember he was her X and nomatter what even if she hated him people do have some kind of feelings.It's alright don't feel ashamed...
2007-01-09 06:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by gblue52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, she only wants to go to pay her respects. It's not like she's going to jump the ex's bones at a funeral.
2007-01-09 06:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not doing it for her ex-husband, she is doing it for the kids and maybe for her ex mother-in-law if they did get along while she was married to him. I think your problem may be that you are afraid that she is going to somehow get back with her ex-husband. Nothing to worry about.
2007-01-09 06:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should be happy that your gf is a gr8 person even after what her ex husband has put her through she still wants to go and pay her respects to his dad . my suggestion you should go with her these are the times when you really build your relationship stronger
2007-01-09 06:37:06 · answer #9 · answered by mrdeeds_1983 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try your best to understand and support her decision. is your jealousy because of trust or control? the best relationships are built on honesty and trust. if you have those two things she can go anywhere and you will not worry. and that goes both ways. good luck.
2007-01-09 06:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by SKYDOGSLIM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive and ask if she wants you to go with her.
2007-01-09 06:37:05 · answer #11 · answered by Hyatt A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋