My fiance asked me to move out after a fight on New Years? About a week later she starts talking to me again and says she wants us to start over, take it slow, not talk everyday, go on dates on the weekends. But she also told me she didn't want to make any promises that things were going to work out or we would be together. I asked her if this was just a slow breakup, she said she didnt know. I asked her if we were together, she said she didn't know.
But today I talked to her good friend. Her friend told me that she told her we were together and were going to take it slow and rebuild the relationship.
What are her true intentions? What is she thinking? What manner of game is this? How do I procede?
2007-01-09 06:25:20 · 15 answers · asked by Tunasandwich 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm the kind of person who doesn't believe in that phrase "let's give us some time apart" or the ones that says "let's take it slowly, see other people" there is not such thing,... or u wanna be with me or we break up.... give time is just an excuse to play with other people and don't feel bad about it... if you are not sure about your feelings, break up, unless you really want to work it out... if you think there is a chance of getting better, or if you still love her, try again, but if she is giving excuses, or hes is not sure about her feelings towards you forget it about it!!!!
2007-01-09 06:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by aries 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first you need to evaluate how the relationship has been up to this point. You two were obviously serious. Have you tried couple counseling? Pre-marital counseling? Trying to decipher what she is saying is a bit impossible. The friend could be trying to spare your feelings or telling the truth. Its best to communicate and put it all out there. Are you interested in "starting over"? She may be scared to get married and realized that some where along the way, and she is using this "time" to gently move away from you. She could also be very confused. If it is meant to be for the two of you than it will work...but remember Marriage is work not a quick fix. Good luck!
2007-01-09 14:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by Tabasco 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to communication most guys are like bulls in the china shop. You cant turn your head without messing up something delicate.
Your girlfriend would say she is being absolutely clear, and forward with this. She would say that she has given you everything you need, and she believes she has, to be able to fully understand your position. Your problem isnt her, and its not you. Its communication.
You think you speak the same language, but there are specific things that arent coming through. Communication is a key to conflict resolution, and to negotiation, and relationships dont last without both of those. What my sweetie and I use comes from the text "A lasting promise". Its a great book on relationships, and gives a specific method for how to communicate. When we first tried it we both kinda felt dumb repeating what the other said until we got it right before we could reply. Over time we have come to see that as priceless because we dont have miscommunications, misunderstandings - that means we dont have the unmet expectations and disappointments that those lead to, and we have much less frustration anger and hurt. We are aware of where we are in the relationship, how each other feels, and where we are going. Its really essential to get good solid communication if you are going to have a long-lasting relationship.
2007-01-09 14:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by Curly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too much too soon it sounds like,,,,it sounds like the move together wasnt something she really thought about and she panicked,things changed,,you were always there,she had no privacy,she had to see you all the time,,it happens but it doesnt necessarily mean it is over,,she just doesnt want to miss out on the fun stuff like dating,,like planning and WANTING the other to move in,,moving in never seems such a huge step until you take it and then it can go extremely sour as one of you realizes it was too soon.it doesnt sound like she wants to end it but rather wants to be sure you are someone she is sure about,,that all decisions have been talked about between the two of you and you have both arrived at the same destination within the relationship,it may feel a step back but try to consider where you and she would have been if you had not moved in and go from there.
2007-01-09 14:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a tough one. Is she seeking space just because of the fight you two had or is there a deeper meaning to all this indecsion? If you love her and want to try to work things out by all means do so but just be cautious that she isnt playing any games with you so that way you dont end up getting hurt in the process.
2007-01-09 14:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously she is having second thoughts. she may already know she wants out and is letting you down easy. She may want time to explore meeting someone new. Best to give her the space now and let her find out what she wants. how much worse it would be to marry then her still have these feelings of wanting out. Think about it.
2007-01-09 14:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by K N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that she is not sure if she is ready to be serious and commited. She wants to be with you but she doesn't want to get too close right now. Just give her the time she needs and let her move it any farther
2007-01-09 14:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by lilangel02babe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be afraid of getting too comitted too fast. Why don't you talk to her and ask her what she is so scared of. Maybe she is having doubts but the best way to go about this is to communicate with her. Good luck to you
2007-01-09 14:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she doesn;t want to commit.
She could be out dating other guys on the sly, and comparing them to you secretley.
I don't think it is very fair on you to be honest.
Wouldn't you rather be in a relationship where you knew where you stood?
2007-01-09 14:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
in situation like this you really cant proceed on anything but just wait. after couple of months just ask her what her intensions are and if she thinks that this realationship is worth it. consider your self her best friend and nothing more thats the only way you can win her back
2007-01-09 14:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by mrdeeds_1983 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋