I have been dating this guy off and on since June of 06. We recently started to date again in November. He is really all about him self most of the time, but i can deal with it. recenly he has had some legal issues which he may be going to jail for 90 days. Anyway I have not heard from him since saturday and he has not returned any of my calls or text messages. He had his court date yesteday. I am truly concerned and worried about him. I think that he has stepped back from our relationship due to everything that is going on in his life. I made one last call to him last night that said i was concerned about him, and i cared about him, but i also cared about how i was treated. I said I would leave the next step up to him. Is this being selfish on my behalf or should i continue to make an effort to try and help him?
2007-01-09 06:14:04 · 26 answers · asked by livlie23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well honestly depending on his legal situations and concerned matters you should just let him come to you. go the gym go the movies go out with girlfriends hang out with family or something to keep your mind sorta off of him. i know it is hard to keep your mind off the person you love so much but you will damage your self with worrying about him so much. if he knows how much you care and he is not calling you. to me that says something. it is hard to not care for someone whom you love. but you are not being selfish you are being honest. opening your heart to him. if you feel no response from him lay low. be there for him if needed but dont hound him about nothing. us women have something above men in relationships whether its one thing to the next. if he cares after all said and done he will find and come back to you. if it was unfortunately not meant then let it be. there is always more out there for you. dont hold yourself back. it already sounds like you have a big loving heart to give to someone who will appreciate you. so not selfish just a smart move to leave him be for now.
2007-01-09 06:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by Heather P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not make any more effort toward helping him with his issues and or the relationship for that matter. He obviously does not care enough about you to at least text you back and let you know hes alright. Regardless of his issues, he is the one being selfish right now. The more you push the further away he will go. GET OUT and find someone that respects you!
2007-01-09 06:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jakes Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't being selfish at all. You tried to talk to him and get him to open up to you, but maybe he just isn't ready yet. I would wait (I know it may be hard to do) to see what he wants. I hate the feeling of being the person who always gives and gives and the other person only takes. A relationship should be of equal giving and taking. That is what brings balance. If you don't hear from him, maybe to at least make you feel better, you could drive by his house or call someone who knows him just to see if he is okay so you won't worry about him too much. If it turns out that he is okay and just did not return any of your calls, then just let him go. You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them.
2007-01-09 06:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by msdhoward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation but I think you need to step back and let him resolve some of his issues on his own. You have already let him know how you feel and that is just what you needed to do. Now do just what you said, let him make the next move. I know it's hard to see someone you care about go through tough situations but we all have to do it and some people deal differently. He will come to you when he is ready.
2007-01-09 06:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I understand your feelings here there is only one thing you must do. Drop this guy like a hot potato.
I am not talking about doing so just because of his problems but because of what they say about him. There are two reasons why you may not be able to get hold of him.
1): He is in jail.
2): He is running so he won't be in jail.
You can not help him with this. You must not get tangled up with him because if you do and eventually marry your life will be a roller coaster ride you will not enjoy. Believe it is you see that he is all about himself. Trust me you can not handle it for it will never be about you.
Please do not get hooked up with him. If you do there will come a day when you will say...if only I had listened....what was I thinking.
2007-01-09 06:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done the right thing by reaching out to him. Sometimes the people in the most trouble need the most love. It sounds like he could use some space and I would give him that space. I would also suggest being his friend and not his girlfriend. You want to help him as much as possible, but you dont want to be close enough to get hurt by all the things going on in his life.
2007-01-09 06:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be in jail. and yes maybe he did step away since he may go to jail he may be trying to think about your happiness and well being. he may care about you so much he doesn't want to put you through the pain of being involved with someone going to jail. if that's the case then he is really sweet because most guys or girls would be selfish and want to know they had someone on the outside to write to them and send them money or what ever they needed. find out if hes in jail and if so find out if you can see him or write to him and tell him how you feel, but only if you care about him. don't get in touch with him if you are only going to grip at him.i wish you the best of luck, and GOD BLESS YOU AND HIM!!!!!!!!
2007-01-09 06:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by toots2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are doing all that you can. If he had a court date so recently, he may have been sentenced and put in jail to serve his sentence.
I think that given the situation he is in, if he isn't trying to help your relationship, then you need to look inside yourself and decide if that is ok with you. Nobody can answer this question except for you.
2007-01-09 06:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by wanderingphotographer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is clearly not ready to be in a relatioship. I'd just back off and let him work his own issues out. I know you may really care for him but what is best for YOU? Watch out for yourself first and foremost. In the end, it doesn't matter WHAT we say.. the final decision is up to you. Just make sure to take care of yourself.
2007-01-09 06:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by Sharon X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all just let things happen, he may be just shutting down for a while to get threw his problems. Or he has already decided about your relationship. But you really need to talk to him to figure out what the deal is with your relationship.
2007-01-09 06:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by superstarlauren_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋