It's true. I am a student who is in love with her 31-year-old French college professor. I've known him formally for over a year. He has never really shown any sign of interest, which disappoints me greatly because he was exactly what I was looking for in the opposite sex- cultured, intelligent, well-groomed, and a bit older.
Any mature advice out there? I do not flirt, nor will I tell him how I feel (unless in some strange circumstance down the road I do, but not now). As far as I know, he is not married, but he just returned from France after break and I do not know if there is a significant other or future engagement, but if not, what would you suggest I do? PLEASE, intelligible advice. This is my last semester at the college and having him for an instructor.
2007-01-09 05:53:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well a ten year age difference is alot more than a bit. However my sister married a man 10 years older and they work fine.
Never ever make an approach to your professor while you are still in college. Or at least while there is a possibility you will have him as you professor. However once that is behind you there is no reason why not.
As far as him not giving you any sign of interest. He is your professor and he dare not. A lot of professors have been in a lot of trouble over the years for taking advantage of thier students.
So don't loose out hope that he may have noticed you just because of that.
What you do need to do right now....before leaving college.....is find out all about him. Is he married....could he have a girl friend already.....how could you contact him once out....those kinds of things that will tell you if he is free. Following college get in touch with him and let him know your feelings. You never know...it could be the start of the rest of your life. Sure worth a try.
2007-01-09 06:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is entirely inappropriate for you to do ANYTHING about your crush until the semester is over and your final grade is submitted. Your relationship should remain strictly teacher-student until the class is over.
However, you can ask him, in a friendly way, about his trip, did he go to see family, friends, a girlfriend... and let him supply the information he wants to share. If he hints at any sort of significant other, back off.
During the final week, make sure to find out when his office hours are, so you can visit and find out when he has submitted your final grade. Once your grade is no longer in his control, then your teacher-student relationship can end and you can make a move (and NOT before - remember, flirting with a student could seriously damage his career, and it's not fair to put him in that situation). Ask if he'd like to go out for coffee or something... or ask how you can maintain your fluency now that you've finsihed the class... see if you have any hobbies or interests in common...
I'm sorry to say it, but it probably won't work out. He is significantly older than you, and his home is in France, so it's likely that his interests and needs are far different from yours. Be prepared for that, and for any rejection you may face. But once the class is over, feel free to pursue the relationship anyway - there may be yet another lesson here to learn, and one that can only be learned from experience.
2007-01-09 06:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps wait until the very, very end of your last term upon the last time you would see him and then hand him a lovely thank you note for his instruction, mentioning in it that now that you are no longer a student, you'd love to meet him socially for a meal and an evening of shared interests, if he is interested/available. Include your phone number.
You've got nothing to lose at that point, and no way to suffer any embarrassment, since it's not likely you'd see him again ... unless he called ... which would be terrific. Bon chance!
2007-01-09 06:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rvn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well since he's your professor ask him how France was-ask him something about France. If he's originally from there or what not.
Bring up if he has family there perhaps a g/f. You know some friendly talk. Ask if he has pets, whether he prefers cats/dogs etc.
When you graduate from there and get your life together/on your own two feet and what not. Drop by there one day and see what happens. Best of luck.
2007-01-09 06:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Hyatt A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one, you seem to be a little shy about approaching him. not enough detail except for you know him formally. so you know him well enough to chat you don't have to be direct you could ask round about ? to see where he's head is at. holidays just passed ask how they were and if he spent it with family or with someone special. if you feel it's to late for that question wait for v day that's coming too, in the mean time try to spend as much time as possible with him to make sure you really like the guy. cause it sounds like your liking him from a far. see how he reacts to you (u don't want to put it out there if nothing coming back in return. if none of this works before your time is up, go for the gusto and tell him how you feel, you'll be leaving and embarrassment won't matter. plus you will have on hell of a story to tell your children one day
2007-01-09 06:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by golden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you want. Just keep in mind that your feelings may not be returned, or even if they are, it may not work out in the long term.
Why not find out how he feels?
Really, you should be able to tell by looking in his eyes how he feels. Use your intuition.
Also, don't try to move too far before the course is over. Your professor would likely be concerned about getting in trouble, so look out for his interests.
2007-01-09 06:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Peter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a thing for your professor is an old story. My MATURE advice is - don't do it. Just because you think he's what you're looking for, does not mean that you're what he's looking for. A relationship in his workplace is not a good idea on his part.
2007-01-09 06:13:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how long u liked him already, if u liked him for a long time then I think you should give him some signs making him think that you like him or else he will never get that message/feeling and it will be with you forever you won't be able to get it out either. Since it's you last year and all it will be a good last hope too soo yea.... thats what I think!!
2007-01-09 06:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by LItto_Gurl ^_^ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're really into him, just keep the relationship as professional as you can until you graduate. GOOD relationships are based on how well the two of you can be friends first. College romances are like office romances to me: shouldn't really be pursued if one can help it. However, if this is the person you wanna be with and he wants to be with you, then the advice above should help ya'll test that relationship.
2007-01-09 06:04:10 · answer #9 · answered by padiwan2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
finish your course and if you still feel the same way tell hI'm how you feel. or take it as an unexpected lesson not on the curriculum...i now know what type of man im attracted to. whatever you do don't turn into a stalker and remember however good he seems we all have bad points. you are putting him on a pedestal you cant see them right now.
2007-01-09 05:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋