I'm in a bit of trouble. My girlfriend and I have been reunited after a break up for about 40 days now. The reason for our break up was because I wasn't moving fast enough in the relationship and she felt she need to move on. All has been fixed now and things are growing everyday and going well. We are talking about getting married and everything. I've know her for a little over 2 years now and I have one issue that I haven't been honest with her about. She's 33 now and will be 34 this year. She thinks I'm 43 now and I'm really 47. I've wanted to tell her the truth because I'm scared of losing her because of my dishonesty. What's the best way to tell her the truth?
2007-01-09 05:42:18 · 31 answers · asked by Northstarr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to just be upfront and come clean with her as soon as possible. Perhaps a quiet evening at home would be a good place to tell her or maybe at a romantic dinner setting. Just make it clear that you had every intention on telling her sooner but that you feared losing her and do not want to lose her over this. I don't think it will be as big of a deal as you think it will be if she really loves you.
Also, make sure that from this point forward you are 110% honest with her about everything. If there is anything else you have not been honest with her about, then now would be the time to let it all out.
If I were her and you told me, I would forgive and move on if I was truly in love with you. I may be a little hurt about the small white lie, but I could honestly understand your fear of not wanting to tell me sooner.
2007-01-09 05:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by MG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her. Age really doesn't matter. I know that people say that so often that its become cliche, but its true. She loves you as you are, the way she knows you. What year that you were born is not going to change who you are. Besides, it's only a few years. It's not going to make any difference. Hopefully, she will understand this. However, you may want to explain to her, in detail, why you felt that you couldn't be honest with her in the first place. It is possible that she might look at it this way: If you felt that you needed to lie about something so insignificant, you are sure to lie about more important matters. It is very important to your relationship that you assure her that you do not plan to continue to lie.
2007-01-09 06:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm that's a good question. She obviously loves and cares about you immensely, so the three year age difference probably isn't going to be a big deal to her. What is going to be a big deal is the fact that you've been dishonest with her for the past 2 years. So I think the sooner you tell her the truth, the better. I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, I would tell her kind of laughingly, like hey honey guess how big an idiot I am.... I think eventually you guys will be able to laugh about it, in my eyes it's something she should be able to get over fairly quickly. Good luck! keep us updated! :-)
2007-01-09 05:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by tntrouse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some big issues with her motivation anyway. She is way to eager to get married. Maybe by telling her the truth you can open the lines of communications and get everything out in the open, like why she thinks things should move at her pace.
2007-01-09 05:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the best way to tell the truth? Just be honest and tell her. And why in the world did you lie her about your age? If you are lying for such a small things she might think that you will be dishonest for more serious things. Tell her right away before you get married and hope she doesn't get angry with you.
2007-01-09 05:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by vicktop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the key word here. That's what a relationship is base on. Because she will always think your lying about everything if you lied about your age. And what is the hurry...relationships take time. Who says you need to do this or that at a certain time. Tell her about what you been hiding and see how things go. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 05:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by pinkbubbles282004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a rough situation. You should not have lied to her to begin with, but if she reallly care about her you will tell her the truth. I would just come clean with her over dinner. If she truly cares about you, the lying about age thing should not affect the relationship.
2007-01-09 05:48:44 · answer #7 · answered by Collegegirl20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you want to be really honest in your new relationship with her, and as a way to show your real intention to be honest, you are going to put all of your cards out on the table. Tell her small things, and tell her that. It's not really that big of a deal.
2007-01-09 05:46:02 · answer #8 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth, if she truly loves you, then your age wont matter. being honest with her right now is the best thing to do. you cant have true love without honesty, and she WILL find out sooner or later, better from you than from someone else.
2007-01-09 05:49:23 · answer #9 · answered by mwhiteman5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're talking about marriage and your future wife doesn't even know your real birthdate? You realize, once you are married, she will find out. She will then have huge grouds for annulment - FRAUD. If you think this woman is THAT concerned with your age, I'd find someone else to marry - and tell THEM the TRUTH.
2007-01-09 05:47:18 · answer #10 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋