She started cursing me out and throwing my dishes that I bought at me so I got angry and lost my temper and I through a lamp at her that was hers. And it hit her and she fell down into a wall and started bleeding and crying and now I guess its all my fault even though she started the fight and she wants a divorce even though it was an accident.
2007-01-09 04:57:12 · 12 answers · asked by Afro-Joe the American Hero! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well were engaged I mean to say, and now she wants to call it off... is what I mean. Not divorce.
2007-01-09 04:58:07 · update #1
I would want to get rid of your a*s*s too... i don't care what she did or said any guy that would throw something at a girl and hurt her in the least bit should be hung!!
2007-01-09 05:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by --Br0oklYn-- 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, you're lucky she didn't call the cops and have you arrested for assault. Actually, maybe that would have been a good thing. When I was separated pending divorce we got in a scuffle and I banged her head against the wall and she needed stitches. I was arrested and sentenced to a 3 hour, once-a-week, 6 month program. It was good in that I learned about the dynamics of domestic violence and that the best--and legal--thing to do is walk, if not RUN, away from her when she's like that because once you strike back at her you forfeit all moral high ground...let alone break the law (unless you can prove self-defense in extreme cases like a knife with her fingerprints and your blood on it and no marks on her). After I was in the program a few months, she invited me to come back around (to see our child) and she started in on me one time and I was outta there in a flash. The next day she was apologizing to me.
We might still be married if I'd gotten help sooner. I used to rationalize that a single slap to her face (the only way to shut her up during her drunken tirades) wasn't ``beating'' (as she called it) but the psychological impact is more damaging than the physical. She eventually got into AA and we get along fine anymore.
Try to get some counseling--even if there isn't a chance to salvage this relationship you'll be better prepared for the next one.
p/s If you really want to humble yourself, offer to turn yourself in and get in a similar program. If it's like the one I was in, the victim (she) goes to a counterpart program. If she see a change in you for the better she can always withdraw her complaint before court date or get it expunged after you complete the program--whatever comes first.
2007-01-09 13:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by S D Modiano 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what the question is, but I'd say she doesn't feel safe around you. I mean did she actually throw a dish at you or was she just breaking them. Because you actually hit her and caused her physical harm. The best thing to do in a fight like that is walk away because most likely you'll get angry and do/say something you'll regret. I guess the only thing you can do now is to get her to trust you/be less afraid. She may have called off the engagement or wanted to because she was angry. talk to her and see if she really wants to call it off. She may think that if it happened once it can happen again. so you two have some anger issues to work..good luck!
2007-01-09 13:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she made a good choice, maybe you should consider it yourself.
If you are throwing things at each other now. What do you think will happen, once real problems arise in your "marriage".
Sit down and really discuss, if marriage is the best thing right now. Maybe you all should work out your anger issues before jumping the broom.
2007-01-09 13:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're fighting to this degree in the engagement stage, marriage is hopeless. Both of you sound like you have anger issues and should work on that before you even think about marrying somebody.
2007-01-09 13:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by cruztacean1964 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you losting temper now, what will you lost later in the year? but if you think the other way around, she curse you today and throw dishes at, what next?
calling it off maybe not be so bad, but if you love her, things need to change.
2007-01-09 13:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she did initiate violence. I bet she did that to get a reaction so she can leave you. That could have been her way out of the engagement. Quick and easy.
2007-01-09 13:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by SarahBear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think after the whole thing blows over that you two need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart.
2007-01-09 13:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by CPDawg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to invest alot of your money into teleflora.com, buy her million of flowers , and get her victoria secret certificate, than tell her you going to enroll yourself into therapy , even know she started the fight , if you still want to keep her it doesn't matter who's fault it is . sometimes we treat animal pets better than our fellow man .lol sad but true , good relationship takes alot of work , only if you work throught it , you will make it .and sometimes in order to let someone in , you need to let go of yourself.
2007-01-09 13:09:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tellie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, what you did was wrong. She may fear that it may lead only to escalating violence. If you truly love her get help, take some anger management classes...maybe she'll change your mind
2007-01-09 13:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by tuxgal3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋