is it wrong for my bf to be watching porn when i'm not there???

Question

i've been with my bf for 5 years now. he lives on his own. he's always told me he's not into porn. i've asked because i assume since he's a guy, then he should be curious about that kind of stuff. well he always said no what for. we've watched porn together on occasion. well he has hbo now and theres always a few channels with porn. yesterday while being at his house we got a little sexual while we were watching tv, in the middle of it he changed it to some porn movie. he's never done this b4. i didnt think anything of it at first, but when we were done i started questioning if he ever sits there and watches it. he said no with a big smile. and said he only sees it when he's flipping through the channels. and sometimes he'll stop and watch it for a few minutes. this kind of upset s me. am i wrong? i think he might be watching it more than he is admitting to me. he's a very sexual person, and i always thought he wasnt into watching porn, because he never admitted it tome

girls, do you get upset if your man watches porn? guys, do you admit to your girfriend that you watch porn? why or why not? i didnt think this would upset me, but i just dont want him spending so much time watching these channels and becoming a porn addict. because porn is addicting. i mentioned that we get rid of hbo, but he says what about the movie channels. should i make him block those channels? he says he's not staying up and watching this, but he gets of work very late when there is so many porn movies on and i'm not there when he gets out late. i wasnt thinking all this until yesterday when he said yes sometimes i'll stop at the porn channels. i think he may be watching it more than he's admitting.

Answer 1

I understand you very much. Most men watch porn and don't let anyone else tell you any differently. I said most, not all. My husband explains it like this...it's a tool. They (at least the ones not detached from reality) use it to get off, they aren't attracted to the women themselves, but watching the act. Men are visual creatures while us women are emotional. You can either accept it from him or let him go and move on. But think about it this way, you've been with him for 5 years so I hope his pro's greatly outweigh his con's. We all have to accept the imperfections in people. It's up to you what you are willing to accept.

Answer 2

I think that he probably watches it much more than he will ever tell you he does. As a guy, I know that we watch way more than women ever will. Becoming addicted is very rare, and it really depends on what you call "addicted" I know that there are some times when I go for a few weeks or months without really looking at any. Then, I will see one and do it for the next two weeks straight. Eventually I get tired of it and stop again. Does this mean that during those two weeks I am "addicted"? And trust me, if he could watch it more with you than without, he would choose with.

My wife knows that every now and then I see something pornographic while she is not around and she really doesn't mind. I also know there are times when she is doing things without me around as well (batteries included) and I really don't mind either.

It is easy to over-react to something like this but the main thing I would advise is to understand that people are people and will enjoy private things even when they are in a relationship... It doesn't mean he loves you any less or is not attracted to you. His other option when you are not there is to cheat. Porn seems like a more reasonable choice, doesn't it? Don't try to change him or give him a hard time about it, as this will just make you seem naggy or controlling even if you don't mean to be. Accept him for who he is and try to join him whenever you can!

Answer 3

Well, this is kind of an iffy question...wether it's "wrong" or not depends on the 2 of you & how porn fits in to your relationship. Some people are okay with it & others aren't. You need to figure out where your boundaries are when it comes to this. Mine is no porn, period. Yours seems a little more lax because you watch it with him. But if it bothers you that he's probably watching it w/o you maybe you two need to sit down & have a talk. You need to tell him how you're feeling about it & if he cares for you he'll make that commitment. Maybe suggest that you only watch it together. For most guys who like porn that's a real turn-on. Just tell him he doesn't have any reason to lie & you just want it to be something you two share & you just want honesty.

Answer 4

the in consumer-friendly words those who say porn is o.ok. are those who watch it. THe more effective someone watches porn the sicker in attitude they receives, it truly isn't any diverse than any dependancy, by way of the years further and extra. you do not watch porn, you jack off to it, in delusion. it truly is no longer you, you may believe your emotions. you receives all sorts of nutters on right here into all sorts of ill stuff all telling how porn is sweet, threesomes are large etc, etc. i'm no longer a boy..i'm a guy and that i have been inquisitive about porn and different issues and that i'll assert without question that it affected my options. it truly isn't any mirrored image on you that he looks at this stuff, he's the guy who has a project. in case you teach your damage to him and he keeps to do it...obviously it really is more effective significant to him(can no longer help himself)than you. Love and recognize your self and anticipate love and recognize from a larger 0.5.

Answer 5

of course he does and probably more so because you watched it with him and now he thinks he can watch them all the time and not feel bad about it, but he is a liar for saying NO. If he is very sexual then his mind is on porn all the time and that can get out of hand. There are actually websites and organizations that can help people with porn addiction-because it is addicting to some people. i watched a show on that where people had to get help because they were addicted and it was destroying their relationships and even work..its sad really. Porn is disgusting and it ruins people minds and faithfulness. its just plain NASTY!
pls search on web for porn addiction sites and help..the Internet is very useful when use in the appropriate ways without filth.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with watching porn if he does not put porn befor you, and that does not mean that it is also wrong to put some porn on while the two of you are having sex. Men are like that.....we love porn.....I mean I'm not a porn addict but if a happen to come by a good porn move on tv I'll watch it and there is absolutly nothing wrong with it.

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a little porn and even masturbating to it as long as it does not take anything away from your relationship with your significant other.
As long as everybody is able to perform when needed, it doesn't matter if your partner desires an additional orgasm or two when you're not around.
This applies to you also. Masturbation is healthy.
He may be too embarrassed to admit it to you, or he might just be amused by your thinking him a pervert.
Maybe he watches porn to get ideas on how to please you. Try re-assuring him that you're happy with his performance and if he wants to try something new, you can watch the movies together unless he wants to surprise you.
For a little porn-free exploration of possible ideas check out http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/ you can both have a laugh and get good ideas too.

Answer 8

If his sexual energy is spent on you and not porn then you are fine. If it bothers you perhaps you are joining the millions that say porn is immoral. It is normal to be curious, but curiosity can turn into addiction. Have a talk with him about how this makes you feel. See what he says. Remember you are not perfect either, so breaking up with him over this.... well, just see what he says and if he respects how you feel then that is a very good sign.

Answer 9

You seem to be offended by him watching porn. That is probably why he is stepping lightly around the subject when talking to you.

I don't admit to my gf that I watch porn. I TELL her that I watch porn, if she asks. The absolute worst relationship (sexually) that I ever was witness to had a girl who absolutely forbade the guy from watching porn, looking at other women, or masturbating. She then came to me asking advice since he wasn't lasting very long in bed. GEE, I WONDER WHY THAT WAS? She sounded like a little kid who would beat her puppy and didn't feed it, and was surprised when it ran away.

Your man has needs, you have to respect that he is taking care of those needs. Or, you could jump on his lap and take care of them yourself (my preferred solution).

Answer 10

I wouldn't care if he watches it alone once in a while, it's better than him cheating on you, like if he watches it 24/7 and has no life other than porn that is another story but whats the big deal, maybe he's getting ideas for you guys to try out!