I think I am going to scream??!!! What can I do???!!!?

Question

I have all these wedding bills......... $15,000 to pay off in 10 months.... and we were doing just fine until I just found out.
My fi owes $1,000 in unpaid parking tickets, which we are having a screaming fight about. Because he doesn't think it matters..... like they won't do anything if you don't pay them.
And I just found out my work goofed and didn't take out enough taxes and I owe $3,000!!!! I feel like crying!!
Anyone else freaken out?? I wish I didn't get out of bed.

AND DON'T COMMENT ON HOW MUCH MY WEDDING IS..... I AM FREAKEN TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME (on here) YOU CAN HAVE A NICE WEDDING FOR $3,000!!! in NJ that wouldn't even cover the cost church and pictures!!!

both are parents are poor and can't not afford to loan or give us money.

The wedding is package deal and everything is included- DJ, Cake and all the extras.... Can't postpone it or we will lost all the money.... plus people have already started making plans if they are in the wedding... because some people have to travel.

Answer 1

First, take a deep breath. You are getting overwhelmed.

Second, make a list of what needs to be paid. Take it one bite at a time. Stop looking at the total or you will be freaked out, look at each individual item.

Third, when your list is made, see if there is anything you can cut back on. be creative, think outside of the box. For example, are you set on favors or can you cut back on that? I always recommend giving to a charity rather than giving useless stuff. The charitiy will often provide you with a little card for each table to explain that you have given to them instead. No one needs to know the amount you gave.

Can you change your flower order? I got hand-tied roses instead of a traditional boquet. Saved me a LOT.

If you can't skimp, then move on with how to get this money.

A second job is an idea. I know a girl who worked as a cashier at walmart to pay for her wedding.

The parking tickets are an entirely different issue. I would call your city and ask a few questions, see how they normally handle such things. Also see if there is a way to negotiate on them. I was able to get out of a few tickets by pleading a case,. Overall, they are not your tickets so try not to think about them too much.

If you don't have parents to help then do the best you can. I am sorry I can't think of anything else.

God bless

Answer 2

First calm down. Take a deep breath. DO IT! Breath in, and out. Okay here is what you are going to do.

1. Taxes: Link: http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=149373,00.html
You are going to set up a payment plan (not available until Jan 15) and you will pay your taxes throughout the year. Adjust your W-4 with your work to make sure you don't have this problem next year. If they say you can't change your W-4 they are lying, you can change that at ANY time.

2. Parking tickets: They have stayed unpaid this long, they can stay unpaid for a little longer. After your wedding I'm sure you will get $ for some gifts. Resolve to use that $ to pay for the tickets. Or (the best option) go to the court house and see what sort of payment plans can be arranged. You don't want him arrested before the wedding do you. That would go over poorly.

3. I'm sure you have a payment plan for your wedding package. Yes? Continue to pay as you normally would.

4. Cut back on frivolous spending and impulse spending. Don't shop at the expensive grocer anymore or only get your fresh goods there and the can goods and dry foods at the cheap grocer. Stop eating out, don't stop for that Latte in the morning to work, etc.

Good luck, calm down, and please don't forget to breath.

edit- For those saying that if your work goofed and didn't withhold enough $ so you can sue and they will pay your tax. That is wrong. As long as they withheld FICA (6.2%), Medicare (1.45%) and Local city tax (usually 1%) then they have complied with the law. Federal and State tax they withhold for you is a benefit for you that they are NOT required to do. You are responsible for monitoring your paychecks and making sure they withhold the right amounts throughout the year.

Answer 3

Take a deep breath, it'll be okay. (and $15k is a prefectly reasonable amount to spend on a wedding, but you should have made sure you'd have the funds to cover it before you set the budget).
Your fiance needs to face the fact that the unpaid parking tickets are important. Evenutally, the police will put out a warrant for his arrest and revoke his driver's license. The court fees and possible bail bonds will cost far more than the simple parking ticket, so he needs to get these paid and learn to read street signs more carefully.

Second, figure out when each bill is due by, see if any of the vendors will grant you an extension. You'll end up paying more in late fees and interest, but that may be your only choice.

Then figure out how much money you need to pay out in each of the next ten months. Then look at each month (instead of the whole panicky total) and try to figure out what you can do to raise that amount for that month. If possible, ask your parents or his parents for a loan (be sure to pay them back and not just take it for granted because they are family).

Have you not held the wedding yet? In that case, try to see where you can cut back and which orders you can cancel. For example, do you really need a band/DJ... or can you just load your favorite songs on an Ipod and have your friend hook into some speakers? Does the entire bridal need stretch limos, or can everyone drive their own car? Can you settle for chicken instead of prime rib? and so on.

good luck!

Answer 4

Well, you've just identified one of the main issues couples fight about...money. You need to handle this one calmly and rationally, and I realize that's hard to do. So calm down.

Freaking out about it won't help, what you need to do is get a handle on your expenses (all of them) and figure out a plan to get your bills paid off on time. The first person to be paid off, is the IRS however....DON'T mess with that one, the repercussions are severe. Let the wedding bills slide a bit, cut back if neccessary, you don't have to feed your guests a 6 course dinner, and you don't have to have 250 guests either. Let your fiance handle the parking tickets himself, if there are any repercussions, they'll hit him, not you. He should contact the cities where he has the parking tickets and work out some sort of payment plan with them. He should NOT ignore them, because while they may ignore them for a long time (and it depends on the city), eventually someone gets a wild hair to collect them all, and issue arrest warrants for anyone who owes X amount. Figure out what your witholding should be at work, and get that fixed ASAP, talk to your company's HR person if you need help. Make a plan to get your debts paid off, then stick to it. And don't aquire new debt while paying off the old debt.

And while I'm not going to comment on how much your wedding is (because I think the national average is around $20,000), if you can't afford it and are going into debt for it, and you're stressing over the bills, etc., ask yourself if it's REALLY worth it? I wouldn't reccommend to ANYONE going into debt for a wedding reception, if you don't have the cash in hand, then don't do it, it's as simple as that. Take a good hard look at your wedding, and ask yourself if it's really worth it all? If it's worth the stress, if it's worth the indebtedness, if it's worth the fighting over the bills? Remember that your marriage is the most important thing here, it will hopefully last a lifetime, your wedding is 1 day. You're the only one who can answer these questions. Ask yourself if your marriage is worth it, because money problems are one of (if not the) biggest cause for divorce today. Starting your marriage out in debt is not a good way to start.

Best of luck to you and your fiance.

Answer 5

As with any financial problem, you need to either limit your bills or increase your income. You can't spend more than you have.

Start by cutting your bills. Contact your vendors and decrease the services they're offering. If you originally wanted a five-tier cake with five different flavors, change that to a three-tier cake with one flavor. If you originally wanted a massive photography package with hundreds of prints, cut that down. You also haven't sent out invitations yet, so cut your guest list. Be careful with what you spend from here on out.

Once you've decreased your bills, then make more money. Get another job, sell stuff, etc. Bottom line is that if you don't cut your wedding costs and take care of all these bills, you're going to start off your marriage in a good deal of debt. Since most divorces and fights are money-related, you'd be starting off on a very bad foot.

Answer 6

Yo Jersey! Fellow Jersian here and I know your pain!

Totally you have to pay the parking tickets and taxes first, the parking ticket people wont work with you, but the IRS will. You can set up payment plans.

The 2nd things are the wedding. Have you put your deposits down on everything? If so thats good and you can bide your time a bit to get things worked out. Alot of the stuff is payable on the weding day or the week before, so if its 10 months away you should be able to get it pretty well worked out. My suggestion would be to open a credit card account for just the wedding expenses that you wont be able to cover, you can get low interest rate ones for the 1st year, and that would give you time to pay off afterwards. You can live on peanut butter and jelly for a few months to help with the savings, but it shouldnt be that bad and I bet after you get the taxes paid (because I am sure that is scaring you the most right now as it would scare me to death) you will see that its completely doable and things will turn out great.

BTW 15k is great for up here, kudos to you for getting it done so inexpensively!

Best of luck!

Answer 7

I do not know your living situation, but how about a home equity loan if you own your own house. Or if you rent, how is your credit? Maybe you could apply for a personal loan with your bank. Alot of banks these days will give you a lower interest rate on loans if you have direct deposit. They will take the payment right off the top of your paycheck so you don't miss the money. Making a bi-weekly payment is easier too. I don't think any amount of money is too much for a wedding, hell mine was $15,000 in 1995.

Answer 8

You may have to take out a loan... Just calm down and see what your options are. You can make arrangements with the IRS to make payments for your tax bill; see if anyone you know is willing to lend you some money to pay off the parking tickets. Yes, you will be even more in debt, but you have to deal with it in a practical manner, not by screaming. Perhaps you can scale down your wedding, but ultimately you have to figure out what things are important to you and stick by them. If you want to go into debt to have a perfect wedding, it is your prerogative, just try to be practical about it.

Answer 9

Firstly, you need to calm down. Worrying won't get those bills taken care of! Your fiance needs to find out if he can start by making small payments on the tickets and moreover, to STOP getting them! Secondly, that really sucks about the discrepancy in your taxes, but the government will accept payment plans, so get on that right away-the sooner the better. Meanwhile, make sure that your employer either hires a better accountant or figures out how to keep that from happening again.

BTW-that $3,000 would have gone for my photographer & caterer. You can try to keep to a tight budget, but you can't expect people to lower their prices because you're on a budget. People have to realize prices of services can vary largely from region to region.

Answer 10

Welcome to life.
Now take a deep breath. Exhale. Again.

It doesn't make any difference what you're paying for your wedding.

You WILL get through this. This is just a small setback. Take it in pieces, set up a payment plan. I started my marriage off with a tax loan as well. Just one of those things.

But why doesn't BF think his unpaid tickets matter? He'll think it matters when a warrant is issued for his arrest. That'd be a great wedding present, now wouldn't it?
Make arrangements to get this paid as well.
Good luck!