I want my brothers to be groomsmen but my fiance doesnt......Do i have a say in this??? I have two brothers....one that i'm extremly close to and the other not so close to..i was in my brothers wedding that i'm not too close to...Help...and if he lets my brothers be in the wedding do i have to have his sister in the wedding?
2007-01-09 04:23:46 · 22 answers · asked by adzlovesu84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, you do have a say. However, if he lets your brothers, you have to let his sister if he wants to have her. If he doesn't care if his sister is in there, then don't worry about it. It's just about respecting each other's wishes and families.
Also, if you can't work out the wedding party arrangement to make everyone happy, would you be happy including them as ushers? Usually, the guys don't really care one way or another. It probably won't upset them.
2007-01-09 04:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to burst your balloon but if your boyfriend is in the wedding party, he will be sitting with the other attendants. You will be a guest and sit with other guests. What do you mean you'll be sitting "alone" during the service? Is there an empty church? Do you have a whole row of seats to yourself? This is NOT about YOU - your time to be a Diva Princess is for YOUR wedding. Sit in the church with other friends or family. All the attention will be upfront where it is supposed to be. And at the reception, just ask that a place card be at a table fairly close to the front so your honeybun can smile at you during the reception. Once the meal is done, you two can dance the night away together. How much sweeter and nicer people will think of you if you act like a lady!! You ARE being unreasonable to expect to sit at the head table with family and attendants. If you bring a guest, people will think a) you've broken up if your guest is a male, or b) you are terribly insecure and cannot carry on a conversation with 7 other people at a table, if you bring a girl. Come on!! Grow up!! This is a wedding CELEBRATION, not a competition for attention. At the reception, don't act "needy" and always want to be clinging to your boyfriend, either. He is an attendant - he has responsibilities and he will appreciate you more if you show you are secure with his love and with yourself! Get all dolled up, go to the service, attend the reception and talk happily to everyone at the table. People will ask who you're with and you can point to the head table to your honey with pride. And don't be surprised if people around you suggest that "maybe you're the next bride". And, another note: you say that the bride is rude and disrespectful but she seems to be able to be friends with the other brother's girlfriend as you said she is a bridesmaid. As for the language barrier, bone up on conversational French and don't assume that no one can speak a word of English. You've been with this guy as part of a couple for four years so maybe it's time that YOU started to make more of an effort with his extended family. Besides - dinner is just one hour, chew slowly and the time will pass. LOL
2016-05-22 22:59:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be able to choose his groomsmen and you should choose your bridesmaids. After all, the groomsmen are there to support him and your bridesmaids are there to support you. If you want your brothers in the wedding, make them your bridesmen. His sister can be his groomswoman. Otherwise, find other roles for them in your wedding. Sure the pictures won't look traditional. However, it's important that a job is suited to the person and doesn't need to be based on gender. If you aren't ready to break from tradition, then it's only fair that his sister is a bridesmaid if your brothers are his groomsmen.
2007-01-09 06:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you have your brother's be "bridesmen?" I've seen it done. Or, if that doesn't work, why not have them each do a reading or something else significant in the wedding. But just as you wouldn't want your fiance to tell you who you had to choose for your bridesmaids, he doesn't want your input on who he chooses as groomsmen. Talk to your fiance about this though, he may not mind (many guys don't). I would also say that if your brother's are groomsmen, and his sister ISN'T a bridesmaid, there's going to be hurt feelings, and you don't want to start off the whole "inlaw" relationship that way.
2007-01-09 04:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was an usher at my brothers wedding, and that was more than enough for me, but i am not all that close with him. but i think the groomsmen thing should be more the grooms choice but i think he should maybe be a little more considerate of your feelings. and about his sister, if he lets your brother in and he wants his sister in i think it is only fair. just so she doesnt feel left out, but remember that it is not their wedding it comes down to you and your husband to be. all the best for the wedding and i hope you have a long and happy life together. ps congrats.
2007-01-09 04:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by graamkdup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was a groomsman in his sister's wedding and his brother was an usher, but that was at the request of the groom (he doesn't care for the other brother), and my sister-in-law compromised and put her husband's sister in as one of her bridesmaids.
This is a decision for the 2 of you together, and if one compromises the other should too. So you may have to settle with only 1 brother in the wedding and his sister as a bridesmaid..
or maybe have your brothers be ushers, that's still in the wedding..
2007-01-09 04:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by bensbabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have a say in this. But it isn't fair for either of you to ask the other one not have someone in the wedding party. And yes, if you push the issue and both of your brothers are in the wedding then his sister should also be in the wedding. Remember this is a wonderful and happy day for the two of you, don't spoil it by worrying about these things.
2007-01-09 04:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by Brian and Kari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your brothers are in the wedding, then his sister should be in the wedding. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
But it is acceptible for your groom to not want to have your brothers stand up as groomsmen. After all, they are HIS attendants, not yours.
2007-01-09 04:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't he want your brothers to be part of this? I'm guessing he has some best buds of his that he'd rather have as his groomsmen? He does realize that there's no number limit to groomsmen, as long as the bridesmaids are of an equal number.
2007-01-09 04:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that brothers and sisters should have a part in of any wedding whether it is a small part or a large part. My brother is the usher in my wedding. If you don't want his sister to be a bridesmaid, then you can have her as either a honorary bridesmaid or bride's attendants
2007-01-09 05:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by traysea303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋