Hard to deal with 6 yr old girl..?

Question

Heya I have a 6yr old daughter with spina bifida (she wears little leg braces). How do i put this lol. She is very rude, doesn't behave, doesn't listen, doesn't go to bed on time, talks back. Basically her mouth always gets her in trouble. I know we spoiled her bad when she was little, due to she being our first and having spina bifida. Now she is having trouble focusing at school her teacher always asks did she go to bed on time. She goes to bed at 7:30 then wakes up at 10 or 11 and then doesn't fall back asleep until after 1 or 2 am. My husband is away for 6 months (navy) otherwise this would be alot easier. I've tryed taking things away like tv and phone and computer privileges but it never works and i've tryed spanking but she laughs. The only thing that works is yelling or telling her that she is gonna wear babyish clothes to school but i don't think thats the best solution. Just wondering if anyone else has gone threw this and is there anything else i could try. Thanks

The reason i said that I'd make her wear something like babyish clothes to school is cause she likes to look perfect for school and she has really nice clothes and would be embarrassed if i made her wear something that she didn't want her to wear.

Yeah we really don't treat her like shes differant in any way at all. She is really just really into herself and thinks she is better. It really doesn't help that shes been in commerical and videos and stuff it just adds to the problem. Thanks for your answers!!! Were gonna change some things.

Answer 1

You have definitely spoiled her, but its not too late to fix that. A 6 yr old does not need a phone or computer privileges unless its one of those learning computers for kids. Be firm with her and don't give in to her. When she talks back put her in her place. Let her know that you are no longer going to tolerate it and be firm and serious. If she laughs slap her in her mouth or do something to prove that you are not playing. Its time that she see's that mommy is not going to let her do what she wants. When it's bedtime put her to bed and if she wakes up tell her to lay back down. Do not let her get out of bed. Make her lay there until she falls asleep. Put her on a schedule and stick to it. If you keep at her everyday she will get the picture and change if not send her to me for a week and she will be a different girl. Good luck.

Answer 2

You have your hands full girl, and it is only gonna get worse as time goes by. Maybe getting her to bed at 8 or 8:30 would help her sleep through the night, that is tough when she wakes up at all hours. Yelling is a terrible solution, I rarely yell at my kids, however, I can understand that you so frustrated and it just happens. She is 6 and has phone privilages?? Sounds like you dress her right up too, she needs a reality check and maybe you do too. Do you spend good quality time with her? Play games at night instead of watching tv or playing on the computer. Laughing at you when you spank her? This little girl is going to rule the roost if she doesn't already. Maybe you could consider some counseling for the two of you as it must be hard for both of you with your husband away. If anything, tune into the Nanny on tv, good luck! By the way, my friend has spina bifida and is a normal functioning woman today, don' t spoil her due to that, treat her as you would any normal healthy kid.

Answer 3

Why not talk to her? Ask her if there is something bothering her? Maybe the underlying issue is no daddy. Maybe she misses him and needs to hear about him. Children love their parents and they don't full understand why they have to be apart. My nephew was sick when his father left him to find work. He was constantly ill and always going to the Dr. Until his mother asked him what was wrong.
Try adding new pictures of daddy to her room. Ask her if she thinks daddy would like to see her being mean to mommy. You have to think and act on her level. You have to be able to tell her that being rude isn't acceptable behavior. Start a good girl chart where she earns stars for treats. Set a goal 30 stars is a trip to the toy store, 15 stars is an ice cream, 10 is a 30 min tv show or something along those lines. Give her chores to do, if she talks back. Time outs for 5 minutes if she doesn't do what you ask. Don't use her disability as a reason she should get something. You are teaching her that because she has this Spinal Bifida, she should expect to be treated a certain way and get her way all the time. Start slowly you are going to change her routine little by little until she goes to bed on time and she does what you want her to do. Empty threats are that, empty.

My 7 year old after two stories at night was not going to bed, so I offered him some books and he reads /looks at the pictures and reads to his teddy bear before he finally gets tired with in 20 minutes and goes to sleep.

You should not depend on daddy to do all the corrections. You are the mother, you make the decisions that effect your child. If you are stressed, she is stressed. You have to be calm cool and collective 24/7 regardless of the issues around you. You are her stability.

Good luck.

Answer 4

My six year old doesn't go to bed until 9. She sleeps well and gets up good. Obviously 7:30 is too early for her.
I know it's tough raising her on your own, my husband works off too. But you are going to have to get tough with her, stop being her friend/playmate and be the mean parent for a little while. Sit her down and tell her how she is going to be left behind in school if she doesn't pay attention, how she won't have friends if she doesn't stop being so rude. Don't let her go into the stores with you until she can mind and be polite, don't buy her anything, not even a piece of gum!
I'm sure a LOT of you won't agree, but I spank them just enough for them to know who is the parent. I have a great relationship with all my kids, they don't give me any trouble as far as back talking and we're friends also. Just let her know how much you love her but she has got to start behaving like a big girl and not spoiled two year old!

Answer 5

First of all, don't put her to bed at 7:30. If you make her stay up and extra hour or so she will be more likely to sleep through the night. Second, embarassing her is not the answer, you will just make her hate you. It sounds to me like you probably haven't taken away her priviliges for long enough for them to take effect. You can't tell her no T.V. and then an hour later let her watch some. Take everything away for 2 weeks and see if that will get the point across. If it doesn't, don't give any priviliges back until she learns.

Answer 6

Six year olds are testing their limits. She may be missing her Daddy and needs to know that you love her and he will be back.

Try allowing her to stay up later, 7:30 is quite early for a six year old. My grandchildren stay up until 8:30. What time does she have to get up in the morning for school. Figure she needs about 10 hours sleep and use that as your guide.

Before bed time make sure that she is quiet and not all wound up from playing, reading to her at bedtime will not only give you two some quiet time together but will be calming.

Answer 7

I have a 7 year old girl that is a pain the the butt. And her father is around. We have also tried spanking, taking away privileges,time-out, etc.but she continues to act up. it's more of an attitude problem than misbehaving. Anyway, a friend offered a suggestion that helped a little. Have her sit and write an essay about what she got in trouble for. Once it's done you tell her that she is to take it with her the next day to school so that she may read it out loud to the classroom. Now, this worked when my daughter went in her pants because she was playing and didn't want to go to the bathroom. Not sure if it works with other situations but it doesn't hurt to try. (when I say essay, it's more of a paragraph with alot of misspelling)

Answer 8

On sleep it may just be just does not need that much sleep. I was (and still as an adult am) that way. I would get up in the middle of the night and play or read. Why don't you start letting her stay up later and perhaps she will have a more solid sleep.

As far a discipline. Spanking works--and she is in dire need of it. You said she laughed when you spanked her--that means you didn't do it right. Give her several stinging swats on her bare fanny next time--she will not be laughing and if you do it consistently (which is tough) a lot of that spoiling will begin to become undone.

Answer 9

My 6 year old talks back for the sake of it. As far as her sleeping goes, get her into a routine of going to bed at the same time every night and do the same sleep rituals. My 6 year old goes to bed at 8pm and reads until she falls asleep but she is not allowed to go to bed until she has picked up her toys from the afternoon. Kids love routine. It works for them

Answer 10

7:30 is a very early bedtime. Does she nap? Is she exhausted at 7:30? Clearly she is very spoiled. Time-outs don't work? I'd start with time-outs and putting her to bed at a more normal time.