2007-01-09 04:21:22 · 18 answers · asked by claire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think its bad, if you expect to grow more into the relationship, and think about marrying him later on. Remember that that child was there first, and he probably will choose his child before you since your own children usually do come first. So I would try to accept the fact that he has a child otherwise he will just dump you. You don't have to pretend to be his mother, all you can do is atleast be someone this child can trust or like.
2007-01-09 04:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by cib0385 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why is that?
Is the child being horrible to you?
Do you feel in competition with the child?
It does sound bad, because, you cannot just want the child to go away; It's part of your partner, and you have to accept them as a package.
Obviously you don't have to put up with things his dad would put up with, but surely you remember being a child yourself, and know that if you fear you might lose someone you loved, you would react very badly, and would fight strongly to keep the thief away.
So, could be that the child is jealous and is giving you a hard time. Or is it you being jealous of the time your partner's spending with his child.
I think that you need to put your acts together.
You're the adult, and you are not acting like it by being so possessive and close your heart to a part of your man's life.
2007-01-09 12:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends what you want from your relationship with your b/f. If its just a very casual thing then i dont think its so bad, maybe even a good thing as the child would never have to meet you. If you and he are more serious then yes i do think its a bad thing and the dad should have thought about it. Its not so much your problem as a problem for your b/f to try and sort out. Unfortunatly i think you might be the one who loses out here when he realises who is more important in the long term. Sorry to be a bit harsh.
2007-01-09 12:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by doodlepol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in this situation also. no matter how hard i try to be nice to my bfs child he is rude and sometimes downright nasty back! this totally puts me off wanting to have any kind of relationship with him. all i can say, from a years experience, is that if you love your bf you have to make the effort! he will never pick you over his child and it must hurt him so much that you want to blank his child. is the reason you dont want to be involved with his child cos of jealousy? either of the child or the mother? or do you just not want the hassle of a child in your relationship? think about your reasons. dont think your alone in this problem, so many people will have the same dilemma, it doesn't make you bad, but if you want a serious relationship with him you have to at least try to make the effort. who knows you may really like each other!good luck, i hope it works out for all of you
2007-01-09 14:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by joanne f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't bonded with the child yet, then you owe it to yourself, your boyfriend, and his child to end the relationship. You are headed for trouble if you cannot stand this child. He will be forced to choose because of you and, if he is a good man, he will choose his child over you almost all of the time. You will not win.
Get out of the relationship and find a man without a child.
2007-01-09 12:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by Karen C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's bad as far as any long term relationship goes. If you are to make it with this boyfriend you must accept and learn to enjoy his child. Otherwise, go out and find someone without a child.
2007-01-09 12:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by hotgramma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on what you are feeling
jelousy
a distraction from you two starting a family
a financial burden that would or might stop you two from having children
a third party struggle that may occur
you are the only one who can answer the question
than decide good or bad motive
but for good or bad the child is part of the father
2007-01-09 12:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by oddbs2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is bad because if you love the father you should love his child
2007-01-09 14:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is bad and wrong,how could you be with a man forr years and not want anything to do with his child.I have a b/f with a child and i treat her as i would have treated my own,his child is apart fo him
if you love him you have to love every part of him.
2007-01-09 12:30:26 · answer #9 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
somehow yes because its his child , so its part of him and if u love him u must accept the fact that he is having a child and being part of this chapter of his life too
2007-01-09 12:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋