he has suffered from depression it seems all his life. WILL NOT seek treatment even though he recognizes his problem. After 15 yrs I just can't take his verbal abuse any more and want to leave. His outbursts scare me. I am 54 he is 60. I want some happy years included in the rest of of my life but can't get the courage up to take the first step to getting out. Please offer me some encouragement......
2007-01-09 04:13:43 · 10 answers · asked by wornout 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
last night was the last straw..he had to get up to let the dog out at 2am. I was asleep and when he came back to bed he pushed me out of bed on to the floor to wake me up. I had my new camera with mic and turned it on and then listened to it again this morning..most people treat their dog better..His outbursts are getting more frequent and he forgot how to talk and just yells all the time anymoree. Whines and complains constantly and everything in his pitiful life is my fault. What is wrong with me that I can't go??I almost have a half a dozen times, but he swears he will work on his behavior and it just goes back to the same old, same old. I have no money and have my old dogs I won't leave.Excuse me, I need to wipe the tears.....
2007-01-09 04:38:30 · update #1
I have the same problem with my mom. Try talking to him. If that doesn't work leave him until he gets help.
2007-01-13 03:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by critter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him one last chance to get some help. By that, I mean sit down with him, when he is in a good mood and not in one of his depressive swings, and explain to him how much you love him and how much you WANT to be with him....but, that you just can't live the rest of your life being sad and feeling helpless to do anything to help him.
Let him know that while you love him, unless he seeks some help and tries to overcome his saddness and his anger, that he will loose you.
Being with someone for as long as you have, creates a close bond. And, I'm sure that you love him and it's that love for him that has kept you with him for this long.
my grandmother once had to tell my grandfather in no uncertain terms that while she loved him and wanted no toher man, that his temper and attitude were making her miserable...and that she was looking for an apartment. She told him that unless he made a dramatic change that at the first of the month, she was leaving........He finally saw that she was serious and at 64 he apologized and calmed his old bones down!
You asre not the only one who is afraid of living the rest of your life unhappy. I'm sure that your husband has many fears and unresolved issues...and he likely just doens't know how to approach them, but he likely make him feel much the same way you do, he just doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way.
Good Luck sweetie, and God Bless
2007-01-09 04:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesn't seek treatment then you are leaving. Give him an ultimatum. If he refuses, leave. I can guarantee you that when he is sitting there depressed and ALONE he will have to face the truth about himself . . and I bet he'd wind up seeking help. If agrees to seek help, be supportive . . . and I'd get some counseling for yourself as well.
PS - You sure he isn't bipolar? Outbursts and irritability is a sign of bipolar.
2007-01-09 04:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by Freedspirit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want happiness then you have to leave, cause it don't sound like he will ever change, I know what your going through, I went through the same thing about 4 years ago, and I did leave not only him but I moved to a new state as well, and I have never been happier, so the only person who can make up your mind is you and you ae the only one who will know when your ready for the change, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can find happiness again
2007-01-09 04:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by bhelmsing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears he has gotten violent with you, and you must leave. It is that simple. You cannot wait for the violence to get worse. Leave and stay with a friend or relative.The primary concern right now is your safety. The rest can all be figured out later.
2007-01-09 16:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by ms bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are demeaning yourself by staying, sweetie. you deserve better than this. unfortunately when one person in a family has depression (especially untreated) it affects the entire family. if a friend had told you just what you told us, would you tell her to stay? so why is it okay that you stay? he obviously doesn't love himself or respect you because he doesn't get treatment even though he recognizes his problems. doesn't that say it all?
i wish you luck and get out. this has been going on 15 years. you don't deserve one more day of this crap in your life.
2007-01-09 04:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by Carla S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you deserve to be happy. and alive. people that angry are unpredictable, so you may be in physical danger as well. i would lay it on the line for him, if you feel that would be safe, telling him that either he can seek treatment or you will be forced to leave. and then make good on your promise. he needs to understand that although it may seem to him that he has the right to make his own choices about whether or not to seek care, he does not have the right to terrorize others and make them miserable. when it begins to affect his whole family, then he has a duty to do whatever he can to help himself, whether he wants to or not. good luck.
2007-01-09 04:21:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get out. Staying with him is just like telling him that you like the abuse and to keep it coming. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Stay with a relative...maybe one of your adult children, if you can, or a close friend. Don't let him bully you.
2007-01-09 04:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, my gran is like that and I don't get why he's still married. I think you should just divorce, esepecially if you have or will have young grandchildren. It's much better off like that.
2007-01-09 04:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by Buchyex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOONYAGUDTING as dustin the turky would say here in ireland!!!
translates as : go on you good thing
2007-01-09 04:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anthony Nonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋