Ok so my friend was withthis guy when we were like 15-16 now it's like 10+ years and she's no longer with him but the tried to go out again in the past year but since she's so caught up with 2 other guys whe didn't give him a chance. i have been talking to him for a while and i know he's a great guy, i wouldn't mind to have him for myself but it's a difficult situation.....????
2007-01-09 04:02:56 · 21 answers · asked by Lost and confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
short answer......yes
long answer.......yes because your friend has tried in the last year to go out with him, if you had said it has been 10 + years and there is no feeling there then it may have been a maybe
2007-01-09 04:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to date my friend's ex no matter what the circumstances were because there are just some boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. However if you really think that this is worth pursuing, perhaps you should be talking to your friend about your feelings and see what she says. If she doesn't care whether or not you pursue your feelings for this guy, then go for it but if she does, then you have to decide which is more important to you a.) a guy or b.) your friendship. Seriously, I know it may not seem that way based on your feelings at the moment but if you are faced with the decision of having to choose between a good friend and some guy that is potentially a good match for you, I'd go for the friendship hands down because there will be other guys that come along and I think in this context a friendship should be deemed as more important. Take care and good luck:)
2007-01-09 12:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy and I guess there are "rules" as to what is and is not ok with dating a guy that your friend used to date. Honestly I do not understand that thinking, I guess because I'm a guy. I mean when I think about it, if that girl wanted that guy and wanted to keep him off limits to other girls, than you shouldn't break up with the guy. if you really cared so much about who that guy does or does not date, than you should not have broken up with that man. I believe there should be a "grace" period you allow time for your friend to get over the relationship and pain before you pursue the guy yourself, that is being a decent human being but anything other than that is nonsense. I think it's even more shallow (I am not saying this is your scenario) how I have seen girls make friends with a girl they think their X might be interested in just because they don't want their X to date that girl. If you ask me it is nothing more than manipulative bs, but than again saying something like this I am antagonizing a response of being called a calus jerk but it's just the truth as I see it, sorry. She obviously is caught up in her own thing where she didn't even want to give him the time of day because of "multiple" other guys not only that, this whole thing happened 10+ years so I would assume by now the wounds have healed. If she does have a problem with you and her X than I would say she is greedy, what does she need with 3 guys? Are they all such horrible men that she needs 3 to amount to one decent guy? Anyways, I will quit rambling, I say go for it and if she has a problem with that she needs to grow up, it sounds like high school has been out for you and your friend for quite some time.
2007-01-09 12:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by J-Dub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to stay friends with your friend? I would suggest you talk to her and tell her you were wondering if she would ever go out with one of your ex's. That should give you a good understanding of what she would say about it.
I wouldn't go out with a friends ex- because that brings them close together again and because I wouldn't want my friend to be angry with me. All my friends are precious to me and have been my friends for over 10yrs. I would never consider loosing them over a guy. There are so many guys out there. Friends take longer to consider trustworthy.
2007-01-09 12:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by VC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay friends with this guy and if she really wanted him she coul have had him and didnt give him the time of day so she lost out. he will let you know if he likes you in time. and then maybe something can happen for you. but i would wait b.c they did try and date and you dont want to get mixed up in all that by going after him... he may still want to try things with her. so let him go to you and then you can ask him if he still has feelings for her when he does so you know it is really going to work even if she says she is ready to give him a chance. good luck.
2007-01-09 12:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by becca_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's an EX boyfriend, tell your friend you would like to go out with him and do it.
If she's TRYING TO GO OUT with him still, then you need to give her a chance.
UNLESS you want him more than your best friend and then you have a whole new set of questions....
2007-01-09 12:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by RangerEsq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to think that "don't date your friends' exes" has a sort of 5 second rule built into it. 10 years is enough, he's probably changed so much that she won't recognize him.
She'll still be mad at you though, so you just have to remind her that she was a total ***** to him. Bam, you win
2007-01-09 12:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by John C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't because they were willing to try and work it out but the best thing is if she is alright with it you shouldn't have a problem just ask her if she still has feelings for him and you will have your answer
2007-01-09 12:09:25 · answer #8 · answered by Rivelle W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help who you fall in love with. But you can help who you hurt. If you really love your friend then you will not make moves on him unless she truly gives you her blessing.
2007-01-09 12:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on whether r not you are willing to choose between the 2 of them???? Cause I'm almost positive that your friend will give you that ultimatum.
I would just stay clear of him.... there's lots of fish in the sea!
2007-01-09 12:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋