What if he was a great guy, you could trust him, he made you feel great, but he was totally broke. I mean, he works and everything, but he doesnt make much, and he pays half of it to child support. He was in the military, and his child support is really high, and the court wont lower it for him. He seems unwilling to look for a better paying job, and i dont want to push the issue. I have money to support myself and my 2 children, but not enough to support him too. I find myself wanting to buy him stuff, like new clothes, cause he needs them, and I stop myself, because i know I should spend my money on my kids and not him. What do you think. Should I break up with this guy? I really like him, I could see us staying together for a long time, if money wasnt such an issue.
2007-01-09 03:51:23 · 30 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
both are kids are grade school aged.... I make around 30,000 a year, but am working on my masters degree.
2007-01-09 04:05:26 · update #1
Show him your question, and let him answer.
2007-01-09 03:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by mean evil woman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty hard in this day and age to make it by yourself let alone support your 2 kids. But, a man. I mean money isn't everything but it does make life a little easier. Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? Does he care enough about you to make some changes? IE better job, another job, etc. I would date him but I don't think I could get serious with him if he didn't want more out of life for us as well as our kids.
2007-01-09 03:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by shelly j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how old your kids are or how long he has to pay child support. Just stay friends, but don't get too serious right now. Things could change in the future and then the time will be right to move forward or break off. Time will tell.
2007-01-09 03:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date-yes. Anything else-probably not. Unless he makes some kind of action to better his life. You have 2 kids and need to think about their needs. What if this progressed into marriage? You would be supporting him and your kids. Don't break up with him without discussing your concerns first. Unfortuantely we live in a day and age where money definetly matters.
2007-01-09 03:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by hockey_kisses 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him prove to you that he is capable or stepping up, making more or getting a better/another job. You can't have equality between you if your relationship starts with YOU supporting him entirely. He has to take care of himself and yall come together as independent people.
Its not about the money, its about the responsibility. Could he do the same for you if you lost your job??
2007-01-09 03:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you want something long term - and realistically, this is a challenging situation. You need to decide what you will be comfortable with - maybe even talk to him. Is he even ready for something serious? If so, is he willing to address your concerns? Obviously, if you got involved with him, his finances will impact you and your children - you are right to consider this. But maybe you just need to come clean and talk to him - see what he thinks and says. If it isn't the right time for him, better to find out sooner than after you've invested your time/energy.
Hope that helps.
2007-01-09 03:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by tigglys 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't matter if he has no money. My boyfriend has no money and he looks at me like an ATM but it's because I have a family that's a believer in BANK ACCOUNTS! It isn't about the money, it matters how this guy is on the inside. If I were you, I'd still date him. You are bound to have financial difficulties whether you're rich or poor but it might be a little more difficult for poor people to begin poor. Good Luck! Follow Your heart!
2007-01-09 03:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you have to dump him and let him go. He has to start to realize how much it is serious. If you let him go, then he will start to work hard to collect money for his child. Also it will help him to think if he wants you back, all he has to do something about it. Looking a better job, etc. If you won't let him go, it will be SAME! And no i wont date a guy who is very broke, I rather to wait till he can settle down and afford that he can. Its the best.
2007-01-09 03:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by MissGal 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't date someone who couldn't support themselves. I don't sponge off others and I don't allow others to sponge off me. If he's making enough to keep his head above water that's fine...but my friends and I like to travel occasionally and do things that cost a little bit and if my guy could never go because he couldn't afford to pay his part then it wouldn't be much fun.
If he's unwilling to get a better paying job then he's content in his cirucumstance and personally I'd prefer to be with someone who liked to be able to "go and do" on occasion.
2007-01-09 04:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much longer is this child support? I know it seems like an endless situation but its not forever and he is taking responsibility for his children. Money isn't everything. Does he treat you well?
2007-01-09 03:55:58 · answer #10 · answered by jean l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated my husband for 3 years and he was broke as a joke! But love is what mattered, he like your b/f worked but didnt make alot of money, I stook it out and now he makes ALOT of money! Stick around and one day he may be making more than enough money to take care of you and your kids.
2007-01-09 04:24:28 · answer #11 · answered by Pee Body 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋