I met this great guy but he has been in jail for 6 years for drug charges. He has made a total change in his life and he is working now as a truck driver. Today I slipped up and allowed our fondling to go a little father than it should.He gave me oral sex and then he made an attemp to have sex with me but he didn't fully penetrate me. I've only known him 4 days and this is not something I normally do, It just happend. I'm also getting over the death of my boyfriend he was murdered about a year and a half ago. I'm not sexually 'loose' Im almost 20 and have only had 1 real sexual partner(this guy I'm talkin about along with another really didn't penetrate me).My Q:
1)I'm so scared of dating a man who has been in jail for 6 years, cuz of the aids epidemic.He gave me oral sex, and even if he didn't fully penetrate me, should I be worried about it?
2)I feel guilty cuz I still love my last boyfriend, is this wrong as well?
2007-01-09 03:43:54 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is perfectly acceptable for a sexual partner to insist on a blood test for VD. As far as your emotions, I would suggest considering the possibility this is a dumb idea, and backing off. But only you can decide, but make sure some thought is put into any decision.
2007-01-09 03:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People are so full of sh** it's unreal. I hear it all the time. " I would never sleep with someone on the first date." " I would never date someone that was in jail." I would never do this, or I would never do that." The bottum line is, one doesn't know what one will do until one is in a certain situation. You are young. Only 20 years old. Why is it that so much pressure is put on youth , especially females, that they have to be in a relationship? HIV/AIDS is transmitted through blood. If the guy has an open sore in his mouth, lip, tongue, gums bleeding and he gives you oral sex, then yes you can get the virus. And if all that is going on with him, bleeding like that from the mouth, you don't need to let him kiss you or touch on you in the first place until he finds out why he's bleeding. And just by the simple fact that you are feeling guilty means you need to take a break from being in a relationship until you get over the last one. Or do you wanna jump from one man to the next? Hey it's your life. But a little common sense goes a hell of a long way. Some of the most WEALTHIEST families on earth earned their wealth by doing devilish things, but many of those families we hailed as heros. So give me a dayum break.
2007-01-09 04:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. I wouldn't worry so much about aids because of being in jail, but I would if he's been with lots of people. Use a condom or two next time things get streamy. My question is, if he never penetrated you, what did he do? If it came in contact with your area, you had better go be tested now and six months from now again to be sure you don't have it.
2. Since your last boyfriend is gone, there is no need to worry. He would understand, and if you were gone, he would move on and find someone else. I'm sure of this. I understand why you feel guilty, but you do need to get on with your life. Don't do anything else with this person until your over your boyfriend who died.
2007-01-09 03:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aids is a real long shot when oral sex is concerned, so you shouldn't be concerned whether to got or gave. You guy must have had serious blue balls. You should have gave him something to ease the pain if not intercourse something else would have been fine I am sure. Most actions except actual intercourse, back door and front door, are pretty safe. There are products on the market that will ensure your safety.
Allow yourself not to feel guilty if you are not sad for a minute. Guilt is a funny thing. It makes us afraid to live again. When we first start to live it makes us feel guilty. Well don't. If I passed away, the last thing i would want to see from the after life is my wife sitting around suffering. You have to move on.
So there you go, I hope your path is a good one.
2007-01-09 03:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of-course you should worry. Get away from him and find a decent person for you. Do you know how hard it is for guys in jail for 6 years? Leave, hurry and get your life together.
If you are still mourning your last boyfriend then wait until you heal from his death. Remind yourself that you can't turn back time and must go on.
Be glad that guy from jail has turned his life around and let him live his own life but not with you. why? You are young and can do your own life without having to tell your family you love a ex-delinquent who went to jail 6 years for drugs. How about if you would stay with him and you have kids....what will you tell them about their father's past. Also consider that he was in trouble for drugs....that means somewhere out there someone might be looking for him and might want to terminate him for not going through with the drug stuff. These people might want to change but the people that they were around don't forget or forgive.
be careful and leave him
2007-01-09 03:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by VC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what "he didn't fully penetrate" means. No disrespect meant, but he either stuck it in or he didn't. So, to put your mind at ease, maybe you should get tested.
You've been through a lot with the traumatic death of your previous boyfriend whom you really loved and had feelings for. You're probably still grieving this and no one can set a time period or tell you when you should be over this tragic event.
As far as the guy whom you only met a few days ago who gave you oral sex, I think you're moving way too fast and letting things get out of control. Back off. You really don't know much about this guy except that he did time for drugs. I've got a notion that maybe you met him at a CA of NA meeting and felt a strong emotional connection with him and felt a great need for comfort and companionship. Forgive me for going way out on the limb like this. I certainly may be totally off base with my "theory," but I'm just trying to establish how you formed such a strong emotional connection with someone that you would be O.K. with granting them such liberal access to your body after only four days. Forgive me if I'm coming off as too judgmental. I don't mean to, I'm just trying to help.
So anyway, my advice to you is to just slow it way down until you figure out what's going on in your head. God bless you and best of luck to you sweetheart.
2007-01-09 04:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to not handle your feelings. You need to start THINKING about what is most important to you. this guy is going fast because he hasnt had sex in a lonnnng time (well not with a girl atleast) you dont know this person, and i bet he doesnt know himself either. he has been cooped up in jail. and people return different. you also need to see a doctor because you can get a lot of diseases through oral sex... and eventhough he did not penetrate his penis touched your vagina. Your only 20.. you should be worring about other stuff that are more important. You need to also figure out how to get your feelings to make sense. and this may mean staying single for a lil while. This is not a healty relationship.. if it is even considered one. I hope this works out for you...
2007-01-09 03:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by godisamor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your position...my guy friend's girlfriend was killed in a car crash about 9 months ago. He is devastaded. My personal opinion is that if you are feeling guilty and if you're scared....you should end this relationship before he does "penetrate" you. You have only gotten to oral sex...sex is sex but you don't want him to be in control of the relationship. If you are afraid of dating a jail man then you should stop the relationship now before you get any deeper. And If you feel guilt then you should DEFINATELY not be doing this! It's not wrong but if you ever have guilt or if you're afraid then don't do it! I hope you chose from your heart. Good Luck!
2007-01-09 03:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In regards to #1 it is highly unlikely you will contract AIDs from oral sex. You can contract herpes from oral sex though.
#2) this is a tough question to answer & I don't think that it is possible to tell you how to live your life. Only you know what is in your own heart. In my opinion the manifestation of guilt is equivelent to harming yourself, if you do not have a clear conscious perhaps in this situation it is not appropriate for you. But again, this is something only you can answer.
Best of luck in the new year :-)
2007-01-09 03:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by NautyRN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no this isnt wrong at all. you should talk to the guy that has been to jail and see if he will go and get a check-up with you. this will make you both feel really comfortable....if you like this guy you would really try to make it work, this is the only way without you feeling like he is going to give you something...u2 should get a check-up together then if the results come out negitive then the rest of the day is yours.
sorry about your loss. but your ex b/f wouldnt want to see you down like this.
good luck
2007-01-09 03:51:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋