lately i've been haveing problems getting my boyfriend to open up to me and share his feeelings, i want to be able to reach to him on a better level, advice?
2007-01-09 03:24:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am this guy. And trust me, it's no walk in the park for my wife. I sometimes have the tendency to guard my feelings, and I believe it is because I am afraid of what she will think of my feelings, since I have a history of being stepped on when I share. To top it off, men typically don't share their feelings, this problem has been going on since the beginning of time, and many women share your problem. To give you any advice, only ask once, don't poke and prod and try to probe for his feelings, he has to share them naturally. In order for him to share them naturally, he has to be comfortable with you. In order to feel comfortable, I'd say that you need to build bridges of trust and respect with him and just give it time. To a guy, sharing feelings is a commitment, it may be you two just aren't on that level yet. It will come in time, and I am still struggling with it myself.
2007-01-09 03:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by CPDawg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to realize that guys and gals communicate differently. He is not going to like talking about his problems much. Guys rarely involve others in the problems that they feel they can handle themselves. They almost never involve their significant others as they do not wish to give the impression that they can not handle the problem.
Second, just talk to him but do not pressure him if he does not feel like talking. Let him discuss only as much as he is comfortable with. Helping a guy to learn to communicate is tough. Most guys are taught that feelings are not masculine. One day the world will be a better place and there will be more guys like me that are capable of communication.
Buy and read "men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". after you finish it ask him to read it. Or better yet buy two copies and read it at the same time.
Guys want to know how to understand and communicate with women just as much as women want to understand and communicate with guys.
2007-01-09 03:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by rcbricker33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have a thing called "pride," and that pride does not allow them to confide in a woman until they feel comfortable in doing so. This is why some men have such a close relationship with their mothers. They don't feel comfortable about confiding in any other woman.
If you want a man to confide in you, you must learn to listen more than you speak. You must also resist the urge to pass judgements on your man, and be patient enough to wait until he's ready to reveal himself to you.
Men usually start out with telling lies (white lies and otherwise). The more they come to like a woman, the more they tell the truth. When they fall in love with the woman, they usually dismiss the lies and begin to reveal themselves (that is, they start confiding in the woman).
2007-01-09 03:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...be careful with the "f" word when it comes to guys. (feelings) Transfer any "feeling oriented" conversations into THOUGHTS. Keep conversations light-hearted and end with a "What do you think about that?" If you say, "How do you feel about that," Men seem to have this universal trigger that says, "What? Me FEEL? I don't have feelings-feelings are weak and for girls!" It'd be nice if they had one of those little electronic translators that translates men's language into women's, but until then-beware of the "f" word.
2007-01-09 03:36:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It often takes time to get guys to open up. Sometimes if you open up to them first, it helps. Otherwise, just spend time doing things with them rather than asking them about their feelings, which can make them feel defensive or strange if they're not used to talking about them.
If he does start to talk to you, then do your best to listen and ask him questions, but not too intensely. And don't make judgmental remarks.
2007-01-09 03:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tamara K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be opened at the beginning, talk to him, do things that you both like...if he is your boyfriend, theoretically at least, it means that you are the most important person alive for him so he should tell you what's going on in his mind.Or maybe...he's cheating...communication is the key I guess...good luck!
2007-01-09 03:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by teen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant, some guys just dont do it and thats got nothing to do with you or the relationship. guys feelings are a crazy subject not just for you but for themselves also.
2007-01-09 04:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by monreve_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell all the cute little detials u nrmally wouldnt tell from the get go
2007-01-09 03:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it comes naturally ,no training required
2007-01-09 03:29:34 · answer #9 · answered by anis118030 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck his penis and swallow. You will get everything.
2007-01-09 03:29:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋