Is 14-15 years too long in between having children?

Question

I have a 14 year old son from a previous marraige. His biological father left when he was 6 months old and my current husband is "Dad". I was pretty young when I had him (barely 20). I feel ready to have another but I'm afraid I've waited too long. (I'm still only in my mid 30's and I have a major case of baby fever!)

Thank you all for the answers. I've already talked with my ob/gyn so health isn't the issue. My son knows he is loved and is very mature. We have touched on the topic of this possibility and he likes it (at least before all the crying and diapers LOL). This will be our child, his sibling so any babysitting he would do would be treated like a normal babysitter's position (ie. he won't be expected to fill in without notice and he will be paid).
You have all made me feel much more secure in trying! Thank you!

Answer 1

For some people it can be, and for others it's not. I had my children 15years apart. I have a 15yr old and a 7 month old. My 15 yr. old was so excited when I got pregnant, and is very good with her little sister and loves her very much. I too, was under 20 when I had my first child, and I am now in my 30's and I can tell you that it has been a real joy this time around, not so much of a struggle. Now that I am more finacially stable, and having a loving, supportive husband, makes it much easier and more enjoyable of an experience.

Good luck to you with your decision!

Answer 2

Whoo, does that sound familiar! My daughter is 15, I'm in my mid thirties like you and it's like this crazy, itchy drumbeat, especially when I see a little baby, because they are so yummy when they are little! Then I remember that they stay babies for about 1 minute!

Anyway, to answer your question, personally I don't think the 14 years is a big deal. I have three older siblings, all between 10 and 15 years older than I am. We weren't close growing up so much, but then as adults we are all reasonably close. As a kid it was more like being an only child by the time I was 10.

SO DO IT! Just remember that you will be raising children for many more years. One of the things I like about having had my daughter when I was 21 was that I would still be young enough to do all the things I wanted when she was college-aged. But if the age difference is your main concern, don't worry your pretty head about it.

Answer 3

It depends on the 14-year old, and the relationship that develops between not only the older child and the baby, but also the relationship between you and the baby vs. you and the teen. Make sure he doesn't feel like the baby is the favorite, or he will resent the baby before long. I personally would have loved to have a baby sibling when I was a teen, but not all teens feel that way.

Answer 4

Is there every too much of a gap? I don't think so. My husband and his brother are 15 years apart. He remembers feeling a little paternal toward his brother, which of course his little brother loved still to this day. But they get along great. My sister in law was 13 years older then the baby and she used to take him everywhere with her. It was almost like he was her little baby which may be a great form of birth control because it was a long time before she decided to have her own. Go for it.

Answer 5

If you don't feel like it is too long, then it isn't. If you want another child then I think you should have another one. No harm in it. I have 2 aunts that are 23 years between them and they are very close. I think if anything your children will be closer with this bigger age difference then being just 2-3 years apart. There will be no fighting over toys, attention.

If I were you I would talk it over with your son and see what he thinks. That is what I would do anyway. Just to see how his reaction would be if you were to get pregnant.

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

hi,
we are in the same boat kinda. my children are 10 years apart. my oldest is now 24 last year, my babies are 14 years last year. i myself am now 46 soon to be 47 this year. so you see i had my twins at the age of 32 and my oldest at 22. i think that if you work with you doctor and have taken good care of yourself then you should be okay. just remember to take care of yourself and you body if you do decide to have a new baby. also remember that some people have had babied in their late 50's and older. read up on you risk factors and up on anything else that will help you to make the right decision for yourself

Answer 7

I think it is fine for you to have another child. Just make sure that you do not expect you other child to pick you a lot of new teenage responsibility in baby sitting and diaper changes. As long as it does not change the life of the other teen in his free time responsibilities, I think it would be great for you. Go get you one of those cute bold headed babies.
Tracylyn

Answer 8

I think a baby brings joy and closeness to a family. I think it will be nice for your husband and to show your son how his "Dad" will care for them both. If you notice your son feeling overwhelmed make sure you tell him his "Dad" loves him and you have to spend time with him too. He has had you and Dad alone for awhile now and a new baby might make him a little jealous. You never know he might be thrilled and be very helpful making him feel more involved as a whole family.

Answer 9

me personally woulndt want to start over after this long , but that my opinion , your 14 yr old has had all your attention this long and may be very jealouse of new baby , , then theres the age factor , the older and younger you are the more risk involved , so befor e u do have anotherone talk to your doctor and make sure that your healthy enough , , as for the 14 yr old baby sitting well i wouldnt put to much emphasis on him watching the baby after all hes going to be datting soon if not already , i have a sis in law that had a child her 5th child after her youngest was 14 and let me tell you its harder on her in a way , she was still young because she had hers early but she never lived her teens for herself so now she trys going out etc as if she was younger and has hard time finding sitters etc , i hope that dont happen to you , but if u are young enough and healthy enough and doc says your ok to have one then go for it , good luck and keep us posted and injoy your bundle of joy when he /she arives if u do decide yes

Answer 10

I don't think so - my husband's Mom had a baby when he was 19! This little girl (now a young woman) was doted on by her significantly older brothers and still looks to them for guidance, advice, etc.!

Just make sure your son knows that you will love both he and his new sibling equally and that he will not be "replaced" in your heart by a new child.

Best of luck.