Wedding Reception Diner?

Question

I am getting married in June and its not a big wedding. Its very intimate and just family and very close freinds are going. No more than 35ppl including kids. I wanted to have diner at Sammy's Box in City Island instead of a reception the only thing is that due to the budget, everyone will be paying for their own plate. How would i word that in the invitation? and does anyone have any other suggestions as far as diner goes?

I respect everyones opinion but please answer the question. Im not asking how u feel about it, im asking whats the best way to word it.

One more thing. There isnt a specific amount per head. At this place there will be a room reserved for us and a menu will be given to everyone so u have the option to eat or not to eat which most children might not if they are picky but the menu has the price depending on what you choose so there is no telling on what an individual might pay. It can be $15 or it can be $50.

Answer 1

I know that you didn't want people's opinion. But the truth is, there is no way to word it without being tacky.

If it is that small, can't you have something at home? Especially with kids - kids and restaurants don't always go well. Even if is lasagna or pot-luck or even just appetizers and cake at home??? Or find a cheaper location?? Could you even do appetizers and cake at the church then go to dinner with just family??

Really think of your alternatives before you choose this one.

But if you insist - the only thing you can do is say something along the lines of :

"The Bride & Groom will be dining at Sammy's Box following the ceremony. Guests of the wedding are welcome to join them at their own expense. Please RSVP so reservations may be made." and include a sample menu so they have an idea of the cost.

But I would try to make sure the guests knew before the invitations that a pay-your-own recpetion is what is the plan is so they aren't surprised. You can call and explain the reason for the plan in person - but don't put it in the wording. Please don't say something like "for financial reasons, etc." in the invitation - that justs really adds to the tackiness. And chances are - with just family and intimate friends - they know your financial situation.

But some people will understandably think you are rude so be prepared (although they aren't going to tell you).

Good Luck

Answer 2

Is there by any chance another way that you can go for your reception that will be more cost effective to you and your fiance and not have to ask your guests to contribute?

What about a dessert reception. You could have a cake and punch and some pastries, it could all be done in your back yard or even in the parish hall at the church.

I am totally not trying to bring you down, just give you alternatives to your idea because I truly cant think of any way to phrase this on your invites without you coming off looking...well, tacky. If these people are being invitd somewhere its just proper manners that you should pay, thats why they are called guests. If they are meant to pay then they arent your guests they are co-hosts.

I know this isnt what you want to hear, but please take it to heart, we are all strangers and dont want you to look badly on a day that should be just glorious.

Answer 3

You can't have a reception and ask people to pay for their meals. If you are that strapped for cash, consider something small, pizza and beer, or just have everyone someplace for cake, coffee, and drinks.

All you have to do is budget how much you can physically spend on the reception and then work off of that. Get the book 1000 Best Wedding Bargains by Sharon NAylor and that should give some ideas too.

If you send a invite that says pay for your dinner, noone will show.

Answer 4

I don't think there is a way that you can do this on the invitation with out misleading or being tacky. What you can do is make invitations to the ceremony. Then have your parents or someone close to you spread the word that after the reception everyone is welcome to a dinner to treat the bride and groom. When you hand out the invitations you can let people know that due to financial reasons the bride and groom will not be hosting a reception, but you would however like to invite family members to join you at _____________ resturant, also let them know the price per person.

Answer 5

Never heard of anything like that before. No one expects to pay for their own dinner, drinks - perhaps, but dinner - never.

You're just going to have to put it in plain English so people are under no misunderstanding. Contact the restaurant and get the price range for the entrees including a beverage and put that on the invitations as cash dinner ($x - $y).

Perhaps you could just have a cake reception and forgo the dinner altogether.

Answer 6

Maybe you could put, reservations will be made at (___________) restautant. or something like that. I think people will understand what a reservation at a restuarant is . Then on the response card you can explain how much it will roughly cost per plate and how many seats should be reserved for them. Before hand you should talk with the restuarant, and see if you can set up a menu and ask how much its going to cost per head, and then that way you know what prices to put on the response card. Thats what I would do if I had to do that.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, but I don't think there is any nice way of putting that. I am on a serious budget for my reception, but that is never an option. Maybe you should have dinner at your home and everyone could bring a dish, like a pot-luck. You would never want 'YOUR' guests to pay.

Answer 8

That seems kinda rude, how bout just having horsdouvers or something simple like finger sandwiches. Maybe someone would be nice enough to invite people to their house (if one has enough room) for a toast and maybe have people bring a dish, nothing wrong with that. Be sure to mention that it will be a BYOB reception. Good Luck

Answer 9

You're invited them to pay for their own meal at your wedding??? hmmmmmmmm, that's rude, sorry. If you can't afford to feed people, even at a restaurant, then don't do it. I'm sorry, there is no polite way to say, We'd like you to come to our wedding, we're getting together at this restaurant afterwards, but you have to buy your dinner. Also, the restaurant is going to want to know about 35 people just showing up like that, they won't be prepared for you at all if you just waltz in. Better to call them, set it up in advance, etc. But, like I said, if you can't afford for pay for everyone's dinner, then don't do it. Modify your plans, have cake and punch in someone's backyard if that's all you can afford. DO NOT go into debt for this either. The most important thing is the marriage, not the brouhaha afterwards.

Answer 10

i am with the others that it is quite tacky to make guest pay and then expect them to give you gifts as well. Maybe in your invite state that instead of gifts please join you for dinner. don't know my friend went to a wedding where the guests paid for dinner and she was out of town, so they paid for dinner and their hotel and stuff she said that if she knew that was happening that she would not have gone in the first place.
Why not have a BBQ at your house or something. Then you could afford to feed every one