My daughter is about to give birth to identical twin girls. Any tips on coping in the first few weeks?

Answer 1

yes valium. Good luck x

Answer 2

Im not a mother of twins myself so my advice only comes from knowing how difficult it can be coping with one...let alone two. All I can suggest is that a good, solid network of family and friends is initiated asap to ensure that minmum stress is felt by your daughter. I.E can anyone you know do the shopping or offer to take care of a few loads of laundry a week? sometimes a woman can feel inadequate when they cant cope with motherhood and do the housework aswell...I know seeing dishes stacking up certainly got to me, and I think there is some expectations that we feel as mothers to be able to do it all. But that is simply unrealistic and will exhaust her so I guess its just a case of trying to leave only the minimum for her to do.....no doubt she'll be feeding them nearly all day when they are first home so whoever can offer to do whatever would probably help. Maybe also just have a chat with her about always accepting help if its offered too because we arent always very good at that!! Goodluck to your daughter and to you!!! You are clearly a top mum yourself for being caring enough to get on this forum and ask for help!!!

Answer 3

Oh please don't go for the types of names that sound the same, it's been done too many times before.(like, Shelly and Kelly or Mindy and Mandy) Instead go for names that might not sound the same, but have the same background, meaning or share some similarity other than sounding the same. For a while we thought we were having twins(it turns out to have been a false alarm) and I considered the greek gods and changed them up a bit so that they wont sound too old fasioned, Diana, Athena(Thena), Hera, Gaia, Bia, Clio, Iris, Rhea etc. Also the Norse gods. Freya, Idis. Then I considered the Mythology in general. Names meaning fairy or some mythological creature. Shea, Ella, Alfie, Tania, Nixi, Nerine, Echo, Nerina, Names that coincide with flowers. Violet, Rose, Lilly, Lilac. Hope it helps

Answer 4

Going on personal experience i would have to say get lots of sleep or at least rest. When the twins are napping...mum should be napping or resting and not running around cleaning house, washing up, making dinners...if you dont rest then you'll eventually burn out! Nappy changes can be made fuss free if everything needed is to hand and all prepared ready...if possible invest in double the bottles you would usually need so that one set can be steaping and ready to be washed and sterilised while the other batch are beeing used.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

people think that having twins is hard(although i havent experienced twins myself, but have two babies 14mths apart) its not hard at all. ok it seems it when there both crying and your trying to sort one out then the other, you do cope somehow.

I have one whos running around and im having to run after him and the other one is 9mths old and cant do as much as the other one so im having to run round her too. I have no family and friend support atall so your daughter is lucky having that. I coped well, i learned that crying when it gets tough is a waste of time- you decided to bring them into this world, get on with it.

For the first few weeks all bbaies do is sleep so she wont have a problem with that- it'll be her waking them up for feeds and baths. around 4mth+ will be the hardest for her but she has you and prob other family to help her out. Remember not to give them too much attention as when they start to get older they'll notice this and will fight for the attention, they get spoiled equal- you'll have no prob.

tell her good luck and all the best, she is brave taking on two but it'll be beautiful and set every day as a challenge- it'll get easier when she is in a routine

Answer 6

im a single mum to identical twin girls who are 3 now, will try and remember and list as many of the things that helped me out that i can remember:

hire a cleaner, just for a few hours one day a week, for the first month - someone who can hoover, change beds etc etc.

send washing and ironing out to be done or ask a friend or relative to do it.

if bottle feeding - buy a dishwasher, but on the whole wash and sterilise the bottles in one go, make up all the bottles for a 24 hr period and store them in the fridge.

buy her poddee bottles - not suitable til they are about 2 mths, but a godsend as you dont have to hold the bottle, ideal when both babies need feeding at once.

feeding two at once, there are a few different things i used to do, during the day time, i would either have one on my lap, and one propped on a pillow next to me, both on my bed, propped by pillows, or both in bouncy chairs - if they have vibrate option this winds them aswell.

buy a graco swing, from about 2/3 mths can use this - its a godsend as religiously sends them to sleep in it.

at night time, wake one and feed them, wind and put back down and then do the other one, feeding them both at night time is hard work as your not really with it.

tell her to forget everything and accept any offers of help. my mum used to come round in the mornings when mine were young, and i used to go back to bed for a couple of hours - sleep deprivation with twins is a huge one. i gave a friend of mine money for food and she used to cook extra and freeze it for me, so it was just a case of in the microwave.

check out these websites, they do some great things especially for twins that really do help:

www.2became4.co.uk
www.twinsthings.co.uk

these is also a website called www.twinsclub.co.uk they forums on there are excelled, all mothers of twins, and they will answer all posts offering advice, support, suggestions, and ideas - this has been my lifeline and got me through everything.

Answer 7

Congrats to her. My ID girls are 3 years old.

My biggest tip is if someone offers to help, LET THEM. Set the pride aside and let people help. You will need it. My mom used to come over after work (I used all my "help" the 3 weeks I was on bedrest, so I was on my own for most of the day after we came home) and she would do dishes and pick up. I think she just wanted an excuse to spend time with them though LOL.

Also, I never ever suggest waking a baby to feed it. Or at least, I never did with my older two, but with twins it is essential IMO. Otherwise you will never get any rest and you will be a feeding station for them 24/7. Whether you are nursing or bottle feeding.

If she plans on nursing, get help from a lactation consultant on how to nurse tandemly. The football hold is wonderful for that. I nursed my girls like that. I became great at multi-tasking while nursing too lol.

If she is worried about mixing them up, color code them, paint one's fingernail, or find an identifying mark to tell them apart. One of my girls has a dark birthmark on her hip. We used that as a "fallback" incase we couldn't tell by looking. (It gets easier. I took the hospital bracelets off when we got home. Hubby freaked lol) My girls are mirror twins too, so they have opposite hair swirls. I use that to tell them apart from behind.

I suggest slinging/babywearing as well. That is the only reason I ever got to cook for my older two kids or clean the house. I wore both of my girls in my Maya Wrap and did stuff around the house. They usually passed out from the movement of me walking around. It was a godsend. I bought a second one so hubby could wear one when we went out, or so I could double sling them when they got older. They are great since they keep you "hands free".

If you have any other questions, you can always email me. Having twins is a wonderful experience. I still look at my girls and wonder how I got so lucky.

Answer 8

Dont worry, twins - been there!!! Two sets in the family actually. Believe me, after a week or two, routine sets in and it just becomes the norm. There are no magic tricks or magic wands - just two bums to change instead of one - two bottles to make instead of one etc etc!!! If possible, when its sleepy time try to keep them in seperate rooms, means if one wakens up - the other one doesnt need to! That said, i never had that luxury - but i still managed :) Best thing you could do as a parent is agree to get up with the kids every other night (if you are in the same house) or offer to babysit them overnight once or twice a week, just to let mum/dad or both get a good rest..... nothing helps you to cope beter with a newborn than a fresh head!!!

Thats my best advice, hope it helps.... oh, most of all??? dont worry, enjoy them.... treasure them..... love them!

Answer 9

it's a mad mad time until you get a routine and even more so with identical twins, get her to paint the big toenail of the first twin as soon as she can that way she wont get the muddled up,I'm afraid it's feed change and back to their cots as soon as she can otherwise they will get use to being held to quickly, and that's not fair on mum. new Born's need routine, especially twins, help her as much as you can by doing washing but she has to make the routine with the twins otherwise it wont work, perhaps you could help in the day time by taking them for a walk so she can sleep, that would be a great help sleep deprivation is the worst of all. good luck it's very rewarding having twins and she will get to love it, but it's very much like hard work good luck to her.i have two set's of twin granchildren, two boys age eight and a boy and a girl of two it's fantastic.....although expensive....

Answer 10

Best of luck to her and the twins. Best advice I have is BE PREPARED. Get an abundance of diapers and baby shirts & baby blankets and sheets and 2 colors of baby bottles so we're not caught short of anything and washing every 2 hours won't be a necessity.

PS. How do you know they are identical if they haven't been born yet?

Answer 11

i'm an identical twin. my mom said even though she already had two other kids under 5, that having twins was easier than a singleton coz we kept each other amused for much of the time. she didn't have to play with us for hours on end to stop us moaning and getting bored. try not to let her focus on the negatives and look at all the benefits. yes it is hard work but so is any new-born. my mum said she would always feed both babies at the same time even if the other hadn't woken up, so that we started eventually to get into the same routines. she used to lay us down in a rugby ball position and feed us one on each side (this can therefore be done if she is bottle or breast feeding). the main thing she should remember is that it is hard work whatever baby you have so don't let her get caught up in the negatives of having twins! my mum said people were more willing to help with 'the twins' than her other babies so she might atcually find it easier than she thought! tell her not to listen to too much crap from other people on how they should be dressed and brought up (including my crap advice!) coz it is afterall only advice and she should go by instict. my mum dressed us the same as it was easier not because she was showing us off. she certainly didn't make any concerted effort to distinguish us or to make us look more alike but let us decide for ourselves when we were old enough. she never made a massive issue of us being identical but also didn't let other people be lazy and force us to wear diff things just so they didn't have to try as hard to get to know us to tell us apart. I never minded people getting my name wrong, but what i did mind was people trying to make me wear a different hair style so they could identify me rather than trying to get to know me! treat them as individuals with a special gift - they have a best mate and a sibling rolled into one!! good luck and congratulations!!!!